School of Scrubs

Name: Alistar Black

Job: The Gamer

Age: 15 (Are you tho?)

Level: 120

Title: Pedo Destroyer

STR: 100

VIT: 68

AGI: 88

INT: 20

WIS: 13

LUK: 600

Points: 0

Overall Combat Ability: S

The screen glitches back and forth for a few seconds. 

[New Skills Available!]

Alistar stared at the screen for a solid minute. As someone who has been looking at this screen from birth, it had him shook. Before thinking about it any further, he decided to look at his new skills.

[Casual Punch LV 1]

Saitama, is that you?

[Devil's Luck LV MAX]

[Main Character Energy LV MAX]

[Tyche's Blessing LV MAX]

[Huh? LV MAX]

[That's Enough Slices! LV MAX]

[True Luck LV MAX]

"So, I get skills per 100 points in a stat, how nice."

He quickly went through the skill descriptions. [Casual Punch LV1] is an active skill that temporarily increases the power of barehanded attacks exponentially according to its level. [Devil's Luck LV MAX] increases drop rates and success with wealth, [Main Character Energy LV MAX] is self-explanatory, [Tyche's Blessing LV MAX] grant gives small blessings of luck when in need, skipping the next two, and [True Luck LV MAX] is insane. Basically, anything that will benefit Alistar Black has a much higher chance of occurring with the exception of combat situations. 

"I- uh, what? Holy mother of god this is insane!" 

Wanting to test this immediately, he created an instant dungeon. He activated [Casual Punch LV 1] and cleared the first 40 floors of a skyscraper. That was expected, not too shabby. 

"How do I activate this?" 

He talked to himself. Trying a bunch of different stuff. Wandering aimlessly in the empty plain. Creating a library of empty books in hopes of a random skill book appearing. With nothing working, he decides to call it a day and practice [Crafting] and [Enchanting]. 

Playing around with the mess of materials in his inventory, he found some feathers from some bird monster and cloth he had lying around in his inventory. 

Fusing them together, he made a pillow. Then he enchanted it with recovery effects, buffs, and a few other things. Smiling a bit, he added a few more enchantments for future…pillow fights. 

Leaving the instant dungeon he immediately went to sleep to test out the new pillow.

-A Few Hours Later-

Waking up, feeling brand new, he cooked dinner for the girls for when they got back. Just as he finished cleaning up the kitchen, he was wondering what he should do to kill some time, but then he got a ping on his phone.

[Would you like to join the Multiversal Chat Group]

[Yes / No]

"Sure." 

He clicked yes and went about his day. He spent the next few days until school started grinding his skills and totally not committing any violence towards a certain group of people.

Next thing he knew, he was sitting in an auditorium with his mom making some boring speech to the common rabble. Getting sleepy, he traded his chair for the comfy recliner and newly made pillow to take a quick nap.

"What is that guy doing?" 

Some rando said.

"Where did he get the chair from?!"

Another followed.

"No, no, no, the real question is, is he single?"

Some thot asked. 

They gave her weird looks.

"Hey, shut up and pay attention!" 

A short girl with pink hair and a side ponytail yelled at the murmuring people.

The Principal, Mari, looked at her son blatantly ignoring her speech, sighed, and continued like nothing happened. 

'She ignored it?!'

The next thirty minutes passed awkwardly, with a few brave souls falling asleep along with Alistar. After everyone filtered out of the auditorium, only 4 people remained. A busty, deep purple-haired girl, pinky with the side ponytail, and an average-looking purple-haired boy with a single white tuft of hair on his bangs, and of course, Alistar. 

They started making a racket off to the side. Pinky head-butted the purple-haired guy, and the other girl kissed him. This didn't make Alistar budge even a little bit. What bothered him, however, was a notification from the system.

[New Chain Quest Available!]

[Follow the PLOT or NOT? 

Description: get along with the main characters of this scenario. Become a part of their group or become a rival. 

Clear Conditions: Make friends or make an impact.

1st Quest Reward(s): Given the ability to use Prana]

'Hmm, that weird aura thing White Knights use? It looks cool I guess? This must be due to [Main Character Energy]. Oh well, I'll go talk to them and whatever happens, happens.'

Alistar stores the chair and pillow in his inventory, and walks over to the group making a ruckus. 

"What's up peasants?" 

The three look over in bewilderment, wondering why the lazy bum was talking to them. 

"Who are you calling a peasant?!"

'I mean, it was a joke?'

The pink-haired girl rushed him, fist cocked back. At the last second, Alistar moved to the side and stuck his leg out a bit, making her face plant. Consequently, her skirt flipped dramatically.

"Your footwork is terrible."

Alistar said plainly, confused as to why he was suddenly attacked.

"Pfft, teddy bear underwear at your age. How cute."

The purple-haired girl mutters in a condescending tone.

'Ah, I remember her now. Her name was…Hershey Bar? Hushihushi? Arusha? Ah!'

"Long time no see Shishi!"

"For the 100th time, it's Urushibara Shizuno! And don't address me without honorifics!" 

Shishi lost her kuudere façade and yelled at Alistar.

"You know him?"

The purple-haired guy chimes in.

"Yes…unfortunately."

"That's rude, we were best friends growing up."

Alistar antagonized.

"Who was!? Do you know how many times you got me in trouble!"

She lost her composure. 

"I only broke a few vases tho? I got some really good loot from them too!" 

"EXACTLY! Then you blamed it on me!!!!"

"Now that doesn't sound like me," Alistar snickered. 

"Now now, let's just calm down, the name is Haimura Moroha," he held out his hand.

"Alistar Black, a pleasure." 

[First Quest: Making Friends: complete!

Reward: Seven Gates Instruction Manual]

'Okay?'

"…Stop ignoring me!"

""Oh, were you saying something?""

Alistar and Shishi say simultaneously. 

Pinky's face turned red and she stormed off in a huff. Haimura, in true white knight fashion, got up to go after her. 

"Nice to meet you two," he yelled as he was exiting the auditorium.

"So…that was him, huh?" 

Alistar mused. 

"Yes, Shu Saura, King of The Netherworld, and my husband from a past life." 

Their tones shifted to a more serious one. 

"Well, good luck I guess. He doesn't seem to remember anything yet," He said sardonically. 

"Nevertheless, it is he who motivates me to keep moving forward," She firmly stated. 

Silence ruled the atmosphere as she brooded. 

"...By the way, why are you still C rank?" 

"How did you know that!?"

Shizuno raised her voice in embarrassment. 

[Observe]

Name: Shizuno Urushibara

Age: 15

Level: 20

Title: Witch of The Netherworld

Overall Combat Ability: C

Current State: Surprised, Embarrassed

"Damn, after all that talk of getting stronger than me too, how embarrassing," Alistar began laughing dramatically. 

Shizuno blushed, and hurriedly began walking away, leaving him all alone in the auditorium. 

'That was fun. Anyway, I better get to class so Mom doesn't yell at me…more.'

After some awkward introductions, the cannon fodder…students headed to the locker rooms to get changed into some very tight clothing. They were able to hide the bulge of every man wearing them somehow, must be magic. Pinky was all over Moroha yelling "nii-sama! nii-sama!" Apparently, they were siblings in a past life. 

'Is someone narrating? I could have sworn I heard something.'

…

Oh well, I guess it was nothing. We passed through some kind of barrier, confusing them a bit.

"So this is what Maya has been up to," I say, impressed.

"Maya?" Haimura asked.

"Yeah, my little sister. She's the one that put up this barrier thingy, I can feel her (mana)."

They looked at me a bit weirded out by that. Shishi even looked at Pinky and said, "Maybe you aren't the weird one, Ranjou-san."

Ignoring them, we finally made it to a giant stadium-like place with spectator seats and a giant circle in the middle reminding me of a gladiator's arena. The ceiling opened up as we sat down in front of the plain-looking instructor. Without even introducing himself, he just started giving exposition.

"There are two kinds of Saviors, White Knights, who use Light Arts, and Dark Mages who use Dark Arts. Today, I will be teaching you about the Light Arts." 

He then started wildly waving his hands around before finally covering himself with a white aura.

"Holy shit he's shining!" 

"That's crazy!" 

"Is he single?"

Without missing a beat, he continued with his exposition. 

"This is the source of all light skills, Prana."

I started dozing off as he began talking about past lives and stuff. Everyone began trying their best cringe impressions. Pinky laughed haughtily as she covered both of her arms in Prana, pinking up her classmate with one arm. I decided to just play with the dirt a little bit to level up my [Elemental Magic] skill. 

Before I knew it, Pinky was getting her ass kicked by some dude who was definitely a tear in the condom. Shishi was talking to Moroha about how the dog tags given to everyone turn into a weapon from your past life or some such. The Accident started cackling, and everyone looked upset at him for some reason. 

Oh, Pinky was stripped, that sucks. Anyway, back to my sandcastl-. 

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I step on your widdle sandcastle? What are you gonna do about it?" 

He did his best to emulate a bully from the 90's.

"I spent a whole ten minutes on that you know," I said in righteous anger. 

"What is a little piece of trash like you that can't even manifest their Prana gonna do about it? HAHAHAHA!" 

He started cackling again. 

"That's enough, I won't let you be a bully in my classroom!" 

The teacher was yelling about something, but I could only think of my magnificent sandcastle. 

"Hey teach, back up for a bit, will you? I have to teach this Accident a lesson."

The teacher just facepalmed, probably cursing his luck. 

"Screw it, you all have to learn this lesson someday," he muttered. 

He made the students back away yet again. They were ready for another beatdown.