The Needed Sacrifice

WARNING: This chapter covers the sensitive topic of suicide. Please, if this is a touchy subject for you, skip this chapter. There will be a reference to it later to fill you in on what happened without deep details.

Morning comes again. I'm up before the sun. I'm up before anyone else. I sit in the library wondering where I need to look. I wonder if keeping the others here is a good idea. I need to work. They've been doing a wonderful job leaving me to myself. They ask questions now and again but I wonder if it would be better to send them back on their way. I can get around if needed. It'll be slower but manageable.

I might send the group back but keep Anne here. She's been a great help with collecting books and keeping notes about which contains what stories. She's been pretty invaluable The others can take the vehicle with them. If time flows differently here, I wonder how, or even if there is a difference, between here and the world beyond the forest.

I'm concluding that there will only be so much I can do here. If I read all these books, if I'm able to absorb all the information that they can share with me, then what will I do? Just head back and continue my work? What would that entail? Magic is already out there. I've made my presence and intentions well known. The next step would be working on setting boundaries.

As much as I want this information to be shared and magic to be practiced, there are still issues with those who will undoubtedly use it inappropriately. There's also my own self-preservation. I've upset a lot of people who I have no doubt will try to come after me. That will need to be dealt with as well. Everything just needs to be taken one step at a time.

I have no sense of time when I sit down in this library. The sun comes up without me noticing it. Life just goes on without me until Anne comes in and snaps me out of it. " Are you taking care of yourself?"

"I am, thank you."

She is very brief as she knows I'm busy. Maybe not busy. More like engrossed in an activity. There are just so many of these books that are just calling for me. They seem to quell down once I go through them. It's almost like they go back to sleep. My eyes burn as I've been focused on the fine print for too long. I leave the library to find the others sitting at the large table in the main hall beyond the room with the tapestries. I take a seat as they all get quiet.

Any other time I would ask that they continue but for once, I need their attention. "I have come to the decision that I will send the group back. Without me. Anne will stay here and continue to assist me with the library." The rats all seem offended that she gets to stay while they are sent back. I relieve this quickly before they act out, "Your work is better suited for the world out there. Spread the word and get people interested. We've spent so much time here that I don't know what's going on in the world beyond these walls. I'm sure there are people out there who need your assistance more than I do."

They seem to relax. They're still uneasy but I know how to work them over. I reach over grabbing one of their gnarly paws, "You have to trust me on this. I will be back. Just look for the signs." His eyes widen at this personal connection. The others feel the same excitement. All of them nod with vigorous energy. "We will serve you as best we can!"

"I know you will. Take the vehicle back with you. Anne and I will be fine here."

They understand their orders. It's not more than an hour and the entire place goes silent. They left on foot where we had to leave the car. Once they're out of sight, Anne and I return to the castle. It's just the two of us here. It's quiet.

My mind is focused on one thing. Getting that last tail. Sacrifice. A word with a specific meaning on paper but such a wide interpretation when thrown out into the real world. Anne stands at the ready to assist in any way that she can. In any way that she can…

In… Any way…

"Anne?" She almost jumped as I addressed her. "You've been around for a while. You've been helpful but I have to ask, and I need an honest answer from you. Do you believe in what I'm doing?" She seems taken aback by this question. She's expressed her belief before but I need a little more reinforcement. I absolutely trust her. I've had to. She's been incredibly close to me since before this fiasco started.

She was charged with ensuring my care as I was learning at the manor. She traveled to come to find me once again with Madam Odette and stuck around even after the announcement. She worked her way back to me and has quickly shown that she is a capable person. I just need to know how capable she is. There is only one chance at this.

She answers with a shaky but as much of an authoritative voice as she can muster, "I do! I earnestly do! I believe what you are doing is for the better of a lot of people and I'm glad to be of assistance." She seems very determined in her answer, even with her nerves. "I need to know how ready you are because I know I have something large to ask of you."

She still seems steadfast. "Anne, you've helped me personally. Would you be willing to do things on my behalf?"

"Of course!"

"I don't mean something simple like talking to people. I'm talking extreme measures."

"I still would."

"Anne. If asked, would you kill for me?"

She stopped. I can see her mind trying to process what I asked. She's searching deep inside looking for an honest answer. She takes a deep breath before she answers, "I would."

"That is not a question to take lightly. I'm asking you again; if I asked you to kill someone for me, would you do it? No questions asked."

She still seems conflicted, "I would. I would."

She seems steadfast in this answer. "If I were to ask you for something greater, do you think you could do it?"

"I would! I know what you are trying to accomplish is a great thing and I want to help."

I step forward closing the space between us. I take a deep breath and focus on the area around me. In my paw, I pull traces of metal from the area shaping it into a small blade that stays behind my back. "Anne, this is a harder one. If it came down to it, would you put your own life on the line? Would you die for me?" I can see her eyes shake as she looks between mine. Her mouth is agape as her breathing is staggered, "Yes."

I bring her paws to mine to cradle them, "Anne, think hard about it as this is not a light-hearted question. Would you die for me?"

"I would die for you."

I lean forward to whisper in her ear, "Prove it."

I tighten my grip around hers. She can feel the knife. Her pulse is high. Her eyes are wide as she begins to understand. I keep my paws on hers as she moves. "I understand." I guide her to place the cutting edge below her elbow. I don't push hard but she can feel it. I don't push any further but move my paw down her arm. She follows until she pulls all the way down.

I cup her head in my paws releasing a numbing effect on her. Her eyes widen as her brain begins to swirl in the bliss I give her. She smiles as she being to breath heavy. I give her the reassurance that she wants, "Anne, you've done wonderful. You've done exactly what I need and pushed us forward faster than anyone else could." Her lips move as though to say something but the words aren't there.

She swimming in water. Her body feels weightless to her as the knife leaves her grasp. Her fur is matted with the blood running from the cut. It was deep. It was effective. But she can't feel it. To her, this is the greatest feeling in the world. Her legs begin to stagger but I keep her steady as she goes to her knees. "Anne, you're wonderful. You're amazing." I continue to praise her as she smiles at me.

Her eyelids flutter as the light begins to fade. She tries to mutter more words but she can't. I hold her as her last breath leaves her body. She slumps forward still propped up. I stand up to look at this scene. She's kneeling in her own blood. She did exactly what she was destined to do. With a deep breath from myself, I can feel the rush over my own body.

I wonder if this is the euphoria that she felt. My final tail seems to break barriers that none of the others could. Everything around me feels different. I can almost see the flow of magic. I can feel the world's natural breath as it ebbs and flows. It's almost like I've transcended beyond what I could have imagined. I can't fully explain this feeling. "Good girl, Anne."

I give her my last gift of gratitude. She made this possible. She helped me reach a level that none of the books described. I am at my highest point and can feel that there is a limitless potential I can tap into. I just need to learn how to harness this new feeling and what it can do.

I return to the library to delve back into the books to learn more of the abilities of my past lives. They should help me test this and reach deeper into this. A face flashes before me eyes. One of pain and anguish. She will be coming. And I must be prepared.