Personal Sickness

It's two weeks until the broadcast day. The local church has been working hard to get everything organized. Every task I have handed them has been deftly done. They've found not one, but two people who are technically gifted enough and willing to assist in this undertaking. One of them even offered to do it for free. It turns out that he is magically gifted but in a technology sense. He dubbed his skills as "Techno-mancer". He understands machines on a deeper level. I thought he was crazy at first but I got to see him work. He can make any unruly device sing to him.

The other gentleman works with him. I worked out a contract with him and he understands magic even though he has not pursued its use or understanding. He is a down to Earth stag that has been working in the technology industry for 12 years. The church gave me the use of their coffers so he will be paid according to the contract that we negotiated.

The closer this gets, the further down the rabbit hole of my motivations I go. I find myself falling asleep asking myself what the end goal of this is. I know I want magic to flourish. Do I want my own to grow or do I want the subject as a whole to grow? I want more minds on this so they can share ideas. But at the same time, I want to know what they know. I want to learn more. I want to be able to turn theory into practice.

I'm committed to this. I will see this through. They're all working diligently. The church patrons are following orders with speed and precision. Any advice or direction I give is swiftly carried out. I worry I'm working them too hard but I am assured by everyone, including the people we brought in, that they are fine with how things are going.

They can tell me this over and over again but deep down I feel ill. It's taking a physical effect on me. I'm tired. I'm run down. I'm having a hard time focusing. I have to operate in small bursts to keep face around everyone. Behind closed doors, I keep myself alone where I can let this feeling out. It's almost as though I caught a severe cold or sickness. I need rest but I also need to ensure that this is pushed forward.

My ears are warm to the touch as though I have a fever. Maybe I should take a few days to recover and rest. I wonder if I can go pick something up for this. It's a weird sinus pressure that has no mucus. My eyes feel like they're going to pop out of my head like any other sinus headache. I tried some ibuprofen but it didn't even touch it. I could send one of the patrons to grab something. Would that alter their godly image of me? I am just a person underneath this fur. I am mortal. Or I believe that I am. There have been a few times that I should have died.

It's getting near sunset and I cannot stay here any longer. I have to go lay down. I'm glad I reserved my motel room until the broadcast day. The walk back to my room seems longer than normal. I can tell that something is taking an effect on me. I need to get something to help me feel better. I just don't have the strength to go anywhere else. I'm surprised I made it to the bed before I collapsed. It hurts to roll over on my back.

I look up at the ceiling as the sun sets drowning the room in darkness. I'm not hungry. I'm not thirsty. I'm just tired. I feel like I'm going to throw up as the room feels like it's spinning.

I don't know when it changed but my room is no longer the room I was staying in. How did I get to this place? I still feel disorientated as I sit up. The room is cold but I know I didn't turn the AC on. The stone walls are different. The stone floors are a nice touch. My bare paws hit the floor sending a matching cold chill up my body.

The room is circular. I'm surrounded by stone. A breeze blows into the room from an open window to my left. It smells musty like wet dirt. As weird as this thought is, it doesn't smell like where I was before. This smells like it's far away from any major city.

My eyes widen as I take in the view outside. There are sprawling fields of grass with a treeline that is leading into an untouched forest. "Where am I?" I mumble to myself hoping for an answer that doesn't come. "How did I get here?"

I step back into the room. The giant wood door opens behind me with the draft running through the building. Or maybe it's the direction I'm supposed to go. I follow the stone hallway down to a set of stairs that lead to what looks like a dining hall. There are long tables that reach from one side to another that look to be set up to host and entertain no less than 100 attendees.

The more I explore this place the more familiar it feels. The walls tell a story as the tapestries show the history of this place. Battles, famous visitors, notable events in history. Many look like they were masterfully crafted with precise detail. One stands out to me. There is a nine-tailed fox that has arrived at this castle. They are greeted by the lord of the manor. The next tapestry shows the fox to the right of the lord as they seem to work together. It looks like the land is thriving until the next tapestry shows the fox being tried and killed. But for what?

Others have other foxes on them. They all seem to be from different periods. They all show them coming here for something. The tapestries lead me down a hallway as they tell nearly the same tale over and over again. A fox shows up and dies. Many show that they didn't come back from leaving as well. Just that they went missing.

The last one comes to a double door. I force it open as the weight of the doors seems to push back at me. The difference in the rooms from the hallway to this library is staggering. The smell, the air, and just the feeling throws me for a loop. It's almost as though I've stepped into a completely different space. It's still the castle. The walls match the stone of the rest of the place.

Every book screams to me. They call to me to dig into them. I grab the first one I can. It's bound in red-colored leather with no title or author. I open it up but there are no words. I flip through it quickly to find nothing. I grab the next one. It's beaten and any color has faded. It's the same. No words or any indication of writing. I can still hear them all calling for me. They sound so distant now.

I walk around the shelves trying to pinpoint where it's coming from. It just sounds like it's moving away from me. It's a sound that I cannot catch up to. I run around the floor and up the stairs to the second floor trying in vain to locate the sounds. It just echoes in my ears as it taunts me. But this may not have been a total loss. On the second floor of this library is a small study area with tables scattered about. Old book reels sit untouched for ages. The dust on them sticks even as the drafts try to scatter it.

I recognize something. One of the tables has a book on it open to a page that I've seen before. It reads of a warning that I'm familiar with. To not trust those close to you. This is where the book was written that sits in Phinnis's box of journals. There's not much else here that I can see that's relevant to this. But it feels familiar. It feels as though I have been here before. And… maybe I have. The more I learn the more in touch with my previous lives I become. Some may think of this as deja vu but it feels deeper than that. It feels as though it was my life.

There has to be something here that can do more. One more tapestry lines the wall. Unlike the others that tell a story, this shows the influence of the owner. There are many different villages and hamlets in the area with names written in a language that I cannot read. I have some coastal markings that may help me narrow this down. In the center is, what I assume is, the castle that I'm in. This place seems to be a beacon for foxes of my kind.

It may be worth my time to continue to investigate. As I turn to head back the way I came I get dizzy. I turned too fast or too far and I lose my footing. I feel the cold stone floor catch me with force. Enough force that my eyes snap open. I find myself laying back in my hotel room. Any attempt to move is met with pain. My muscles refuse to cooperate. I move my arm to find that the bed I'm laying in is soaking wet. There may have been more to this sickness than I thought.

The sun is up. My room is bright even with the blinds closed. This makes me wonder what is happening to me. I haven't been this sick in a long time. I mean since I was a kid. As I exhale I see something hanging in the air. It smells sour. Once I see it dissipate into the air, I know what's wrong. It's mana poisoning. Every time I've gained a tail it's been with a surge of power outward.

As I expelled the power from my body it would empty my tank of mana. With the new tail, the amount that my body naturally produced increased with a new maximum limit. But because it was nearly emptied it started to refill from nothing. So as I recovered, my body had time to adjust as it began to fill again. This time was different. Instead of a massive output of energy, it just happened. If I was already at capacity and stacked more on top of it, it's no wonder that my body is having issues. I have to adjust to the change but for now, my body is acting as though a spell failed and redistributed it back into my body.

It can be fatal in great quantities. And this is clearly one of those moments where it can be dangerous. My body is fighting itself in an attempt to regulate itself. My legendary power might be too much for me to handle. That's worrying.

I spend the day staring at the ceiling doing all within my power to keep my focus. The hardest is keeping the room from spinning. I'm worried. No one else knows I'm here. If I need help, no one will come to check on me.

I can feel myself fade in and out. There is only so much I can do. I can't move more than my fingers and toes. I can't focus long enough to try and use some of the power stored inside. It's getting to where it's concentrating in my muscles causing issues. Every exhale is thick with the stuff. I can see the distortion in the air as I do what I can to try and maintain my focus. This would be a terrible way to die.

I need to get out. I need to get somewhere barren and release some of this power. But I can't move. I feel myself fade out again. As I come back I can see that time has passed. The sun has set leaving me stuck in this dark motel room for another day. I need to get back to the church and make sure they follow directions. I need to ensure that this plan is successful.

I hear footsteps outside. Could I cry out and get someone's attention? Would they assist me in how I need or would they take me to a hospital? If they did that, they wouldn't be able to assist me in the way that I need. I'm stuck. I can't do anything. But I need to do something!

I grit my teeth and begin to force myself. I get myself on to my side as I struggle to get anywhere. I get my paws on the floor but I can't hold myself up. I fall to the floor with a hefty thud. If I had been on the second floor, I have no doubt that if anyone was below me there would be a phone call made. Either to complain or report me.

I grit my teeth as I pull myself up to lean on the wall. Everything inside of me screams out that I should stop. What my body doesn't understand is that if I don't move it will die. I cannot rest. I don't have the time. The clock has been ticking for a while now and I can feel that I'm coming up on my time. I need to release this power for a moment.

I get my fingers to work the lock on the door. The knob was another problem that took what felt like half an hour to try and get enough strength to grip and turn the damn thing. The sun may have set but the blinding lights from the streetlights and surrounding buildings are digging straight into my eyes.

My back hits the wall outside of my room. My legs give out letting me slide to the floor. I need to do something here. I can't go on like this. I can still see the warped space in front of me as I breathe. I'm over the concentration limit that my body can handle. It's trying to get rid of the mana in any way that it can. I'm sweating, panting, and just dripping with magic. I have no choice but to do something here.

I'll have a small window where I can focus. I need to collect myself as best I can. In a brief moment of clarity, I release everything that I can. It felt like I dropped a 200-pound backpack off my body. I became drenched with sweat from the expulsion of energy. Everything sits still for only a moment before everything evens back out again. The breeze that comes through hits that sweat bringing me back to a comfortable temperature.

I open my eyes to find they're no longer being assaulted by the bright lights. Unfortunately, that is because there are no lights. The power that I released seemed to have upset everything. It's not just the motel that went dark. Everything within view has gone dark. Cars are still driving by with their lights on. They may not have been caught in the blast. I turned my power into an EMP blast.

This is a problem. This is not what I intended to do. I'm hoping that the damage caused isn't permanent. I also wonder how far this went. If I just fried the equipment that the church has been set up for the past few weeks then I might as well pack this up and go home. The commotion begins as more and more people realize that the blackout is more widespread than just their personal space. I hear doors open as motel guests walk out. They clamor and chat with one another realizing that they all lost power at the same time.

As they look out into the darkness, it begins to set in that something bigger has happened. I drag my tired self back inside to avoid any confrontation. I manage to the door locked but I can't see. I feel around the room as I crawl trying to find the bed I was in before. Once back in it, I'm able to relax. My body is telling me that the cause of the sickness is gone. I'm going to be able to recover from this and continue onward. I was worried for a bit there. This was an extreme case. Going forward, I'll have to keep this in mind.

But for tonight, I can rest a bit easier. Tomorrow is going to be a whole new slew of challenges.