ᘜᑌIᒪT(ᒪIᖴᗴ ՏᗴᒪᗴᑕTIOᑎ)

Wow, I feel so guilty, I guess this relationship became a terror because of me. He loved me guess. I don't see it. Never seen it in his eyes you know. He loved me too much and I made a fool out of him. I played with his emotions until then I went on breaking ties with him for good. Now I cannot even say sorry to him in person since I am the one who took his life. How am I going to be able to leave with myself after this? Will even be able to look at myself in the mirror. I guess the real monster was me all me. Shame will leave with me forever I guess. No man right now would want to marry a killer. Yeah, someone like me. It hurts but what was I supposed to do? I had to rebel for a change. The fact that he abused me physically and emotionally, hurts me even. I was inside a puzzle that even I cannot solve. I had no choice. I had to do it. I guess this was meant to happen. My dream love life. This is what it is. I miss him now but the problem is I cannot see him anymore. What if he was a good man and I am the one who turned him into a monster? Life is so unfair to other people. But I don't know how in the world did I become so cruel. Taking someone's life with my dad's own bare hands. I wish I could find someone else who understands or who was in the situation am in now. All I find is people telling different stories and never giving me answers to my questions. Wow, so this is me. The same girl was raised by her father. The same girl who was taught values by my mother? I am a total disgrace to my family; my father would never do that to anyone yet I did it. Right now truly speaking, I can't even look at myself in the mirror. What have I turned into? I am so ashamed.

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