webnovel

The Fear of Loneliness

"The sword will be of no use. If the dragon prince wishes to end his life, then it shall be. There is nothing he can do. Absolutely nothing. Nothing but lay down and die." Leonidas Windsor has never been someone extraordinary. In the war-torn country of Nayanamh, the boy finds himself unable to kill. He cannot take a life and has never really had the need to before. However, enlisting into the army, Leonidas finds himself facing up against a Dragon Prince, Will the boy finally take a life, or will he allow his own to be taken?

Skiffer_Sketches · Fantasía
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22 Chs

The Saddle

For a moment, Leo simply stares at the saddle, frozen in shock. Then, with speed he didn't know he possessed, the human recoils to his feet.

"I-I-I uh, I," the boy starts, stumbling over his own foot and nearly crashing back to the ground.

The dragon laughs, the deep ruk ruk ruk spreading through his chest and reverberating in the small space. "There is no need to be so nervous, Riorra. I won't allow you to fall."

The boy simply stares at the saddle for a long moment, before quickly snapping his eyes up to Ausren's. "N-not yet. I'm not quite ready yet. Someday, maybe. But not today. Definitely not today."

"Okay, okay," Ausen chuckles, folding one front foot over the other and tilting his head slightly. "Calm down. I will not force you to do something you don't want to. When we fly, you should enjoy it. No other human has ever had the chance."

"Except for the dude in your legend," Leo responds, swallowing down his nervousness. Ausren said he wouldn't push… that's good. "Assuming he did actually bond to the dragon king."

"And assuming said human was indeed a 'dude'. Regardless, let's try the saddle out and make sure it fits. I was just estimating my cuts after all," Ausren replies, lifting his head.

"And what if it doesn't?" the boy asks, brushing off his pants as he approaches the limp saddle.

"Then I suppose you will need to steal another side of leather for us." As he speaks, Ausren hauls himself to his feet, claws digging into the sand. At the sight of those long white claws digging into the ground, Leo scowls. The agony of the little blue dragon's claws ripping his flesh is still a too-vivid memory. One that the boy would love to forget.

The prince shakes his head violently, throwing sand particles in all directions. Suddenly pelted with hundreds of tiny rocks, Leonidas covers his face with an arm and backs up a step. Ausren paces past him, sizing his body up to the saddle and standing nearly on top of it.

Then, turning back to his human, Ausren murmurs, "I'm never going to let someone hurt you like that again, Riorra."

Leo blinks, shocked by the sudden reassurance. "How did you-- oh. Right." The mind-link. I keep forgetting.

Ausren takes one front foot and paws gently at the saddle, sliding it across the ground. "I'm sorry if I'm overstepping boundaries… I know humans are attached to their privacy, but I felt your anxiety and the memory of pain. So I thought you would like to know that I'm not going to let anything hurt you again."

Watching Ausren's sheepish behavior brings an involuntary smile to Leo's face. Beaming at the dragon, Lenodas replies easily, "Thank you, Ausren. It means more than you know."

"You keep saying that…" Ausren murmurs as the boy paces across the cave to join him. "That being protected means a lot to you. Why is that?"

Grabbing one end of the massive saddle, Leo heaves it off the ground and grunts, "I just haven't been protected in a while. My mother and father were never around when I was young. They worked from sunset to sunrise just to support us all, so my older brother, Cecil, took on the responsibility of raising us. But he ran off to join the war when I was twelve. When he left, the responsibility of being the protective older brother fell to me and since then, no one in my family has ever really bothered to protect me with any sort of dedication. It's always my job to protect them. Ruhban and my little sister Yanera would just stand by and watch me get beat-up with minimal protest. It's nice to have someone vehemently protest my getting hurt."

"How odd," Ausren mutters. "That a dragon of all things would be the one to protect you."

At this, Leo laughs, dragging the saddle up his body a little further. "It's pathetic, right?" Leonidas responds, letting the saddle back down and turning to stare at the dragon. Ausren is… quite large. Something that is easily overlooked when he is lying down. In fact, his shoulders stand nearly seven feet off the ground at twenty hands, about seven inches over Leo's 6-foot 1-inch height. And as far as length-wise, Leo estimates a little over 30 feet from nose to tail-tip, if the dragon was laying stretched. As for wing-span… a lot. For the only two times, he's actually seen the prince's wings stretched out, Leo can only guess as to how long they are.

Getting the saddle on is going to be a chore.

"Not pathetic," Ausren responds, bending his neck slightly to huff a breath onto Leo's head. "You apparently have survived a lot on your own. Feeling alone is hard, perhaps harder for humans than dragons."

Leonidas, in a move that is purely instinctual, leans forward and lays his head on the dragon's snout. The scales under his skin feel soft, nearly like velvet, and cool. Cool but not cold. Leo finds himself smiling at the sensation and the pleasantness of it. Deep in his memory, he knows he has felt a similar sensation somewhere, but cannot place it exactly. Either way, it is quite comforting.

For a long moment, Leonidas allows himself to relax, resting his head against the dragons. Ausren, for his part, allows the contact, staring curiously down at his human.

As he rests, feeling oddly at ease, Leo lets his mind wander. It is weird, the boy thinks, how I am suddenly so okay with Ausren. My instincts seem to have calmed. Could it be the Soul-Bound thing that has changed my perspective so drastically so quickly?

Finally, yanking himself out of whatever trance he fell into, Leo pushes himself away from Ausren, clears his throat, and murmurs, "Right. The saddle." Bending down, Leo once again hauls the saddle upright. The saddle isn't necessarily heavy, but it is awkward and hard to handle. Finally, however, after a lot of struggling from the human, Ausren reaches down and latches his teeth into the leather, easily hefting it out of Leo's arms.

Blushing slightly, Leo re-affirms his grip on the saddle and Ausren releases it into his care. Now there is only one thing to do, get it on Ausren.

Perching the saddle on his hip, Leonidas simply stands, staring at the dragon's body in confusion. The boy grew up around horses. The two plow horses his family owned were their only form of transportation, and more often than not it was Leo and Ruhban's job to run into the town and grab whatever scarce groceries the family needed. Leo usually saddled the horses, or simply rode them bareback. Either way, he is used to throwing a saddle on a horse.

The only problem is that Ausren is much larger than any horse Leo has ever seen… and he has wings. Very large and cumbersome wings.

The sleek bend in Ausren's wing actually extends past the dragon's shoulder, meaning Leo needs to get between the wing and the prince. The only problem with that is that this saddle is much more floppy, long, and crude then the ones he's used to working with. And the elementary straps are much more floppy and awkward. Trying to throw the saddle while between the wing and Ausren's body might result in the saddle colliding with the prince's limb. Which would send the saddle careening back to the ground in a rather painful way for both dragon and human.

Finally, deciding that the dragon needs to be repositioned, Leo asks, "Can I get you to move a little, Ren? If you can extend your wing a little and drop your shoulder I should be able to throw the saddle up."

Ausren does as asked with no protest, immediately and carefully extending his wing to the desired position. The rustling of his wing membrane is the only sound in the small cave. Once extended, the wing is mostly too large for the cave, brushing against the wall in multiple places. Once the wing is out of the way, relatively at least, Leo slides between the dragon and the limb. Then, with a heave, the boy tosses the saddle up and manages to, by some miracle, land it roughly between Ausren's wings.

From there, it is a good while of struggling, pulling, and tightening before the saddle sits securely on Asuren's back, cinched into place by a series of rudimentary straps. Some of these straps are set around his chest and front legs, the others are down his back and around his back legs, bypassing the membrane where the wing attaches to the dragon's body.

With a grunt, Leo cinches the last straps tight and hurriedly struggles to secure them. Without buckles, something that the human has no access to, the straps are hard to secure. At least, they're hard to get tight enough.

Panting, finally done with the grueling task, the boy steps away from Ausren's side, ducking under his wing to do so. With the boy safely out of the way, the prince brings his wings to his sides and rolls his massive shoulders. The action sends flecks of light flying across the cave walls.

For a moment, Leo watches the light show, letting his eyes track the flecks across the cave walls.

"How in the world do you all manage to sneak up on us?" Leonidas asks as the prince settles his wings.

Maneuvering himself careful, so as to not squash the human, Ausren paces past the boy and jumps out of the cave. Leo scowls as the dragon brushes past him, but follows the Prince to the cave entrance. He is met with Ausren's head, waiting to lift him out of the cave.

"I don't--" Leo starts, about to protest.

Before he can finish the sentence, Ausren has a hold of his shirt and hauls him out of the cave, setting the boy down on the stones. The human lets out a shriek of surprise, flailing for a moment.

Once the boy is placed on the ground, Ausren lifts his head and replies, "Strategy."

"Strategy?" Leo hisses, fuming as he picks himself up off the ground. I do not to be lifted out of the cave. I can get out on my own. "You might as well be made of millions of tiny diamonds, the way you're casting light about."

The dragon once again seems to smile, answering silently, "Don't forget I can hear you. I didn't think you needed my help, only that perhaps you may want it. Anyway, hiding ourselves can be rather easy. Roll in mud, stay in the forest for cover, hide in the clouds, and more."

The boy brushes off his pants and scowls at the dragon. "Fine. You all manage to pull off sneak attacks somehow. I suppose you've mastered the art of being sneaky."

Ausren lets out that low ruk ruk ruk laugh again, and then turns his attention to the saddle. Wringing his neck this way and that, he inspects it's fit. Seeming satisfied with the visual inspection, Ausren opens his wings, closes them, rolls his shoulders, and bounds around in a circle like a playful colt.

Leo ducks a stray wing and levels a glare at the dragon as the prince finally stops his frolicking and comes to stand before the human again.

Once there he bares his teeth in a smile and says, "Well, I think it'll stay."

The boy drops his glare, returning the smile hesitantly, "'I think' is very comforting, Ren."

Ausren laughs, throwing his head up. "Now all we have to do is test it with you in it."

Immediately the scowl is back. Admittedly, the last ride was much easier on the human, but he's still not used to the complete lack of control. It's frightening. But Ausren has proved himself trustworthy.

"Fine," Leo sighs, crossing his arms over his chest. "But no flying, or I'll willing lead the humans up here to finish the job."

Ausren seems delighted, opening his mouth to reply.

And then he is snarling, lips peeled back to reveal those sharp, massive teeth.

In the space of one breath, the dragon goes from giddy excitement to ferocious anger. The dark recess of his mind explode into lashing red tendrils, rage lacing every aspect of his mind.

Leonidas recoils a step in pure shock, terror lashing down his spine, and manages to croak, "Ren?"

The dragon explodes into motion, leaping directly at Leo. The beast collides directly with a shell-shocked Leo, slamming the human painfully into the ground and wringing a painful yelp from him. In an instinctual movement, the human coils up, trying to protect his vital organs. He's had his stomach exposed to a dragon once, and once was enough.

However no weight comes down on him, no claws wrap around his body. No, in fact, the only thing that happens is the deafening sound of Ausren's growl.

Peeling his eyes open, Leo dares a glance around, quickly discovering that he is underneath Ausren, but not pinned. No… the dragon seems to be sheltering him.

Okay, that's good. But where's the threat.

Propping himself shakily up on one arm, bracing himself against the rocks, Leonidas peers under Ausren's chest. Scanning the terrain he can see, the human does not spot anything abnormal, not even with his enhanced eyesight.

"Ren--" Leo tries again, squirming to place himself more upright.

Just like that, the human's mind reaches out to Ausren's and Leo slips. He can still feel his body far away; somewhere just out of reach. But this vision, this body, is not his own.

This vision is much, much sharper than a humans, every color shockingly bright and every detail evident in excruciating quality. And, up on the peak to the east, is the form of a grey dragon; massive wings splayed above him, claws gripping the rock.

Ausren himself is staring the dragon down, crouched over Leonidas, teeth bared and growl rumbling in his chest.

The grey dragon simply returns the glare, staring down from his perch with an incredible amount of indifference. This dragon… he was one of the three from Ausren's raiding party that survived.

Dneir, the thought floats past Leonidas's mind. What is he doing here? I don't want to fight him... I thought the thrashing I gave Enozarc would be enough to ward them both off.

That grey dragon, Dneir, as Leo now knows him, lowers his head a little and snarls. Teeth flash, lightning crackling between the long, slender horns on the dragon's head.

In response, Ausren raises his head and roars, the sound deafeningly loud to the human's enhanced ears. It is colossal enough to snap the boy back to his body, leaving him dizzy.

Fire flickers between Ausren's teeth, his claws cracking the boulders beneath him as he raises his wings in challenge.

Now, knowing where Dneir is, Leo gets himself upright enough to peek at him from under Ausren's chest. At Ausren's roar, the lightning has ceased, the streamlined, handsome face of the dragon once again impassive.

For another long moment, the two dragons stare at each other. Then, in a sudden movement, Dneir turns and launches himself off the cliff. It is seconds after he is launched into the sky that the grey dragon is gone, disappearing over the mountains with not so much as a wing beat.

Ausren watches the sky a while longer, before turning to the human.

"Are you okay?" the dragon asks, stepping off of Leo and sniffing him carefully.

Touching his head to steady the spinning, Leo replies, "I'm alright."

"I didn't mean to hurt you. Or scare you."

The human blinks, before smiling shakily. "It's alright. I'm okay."

"Are you sure?" Ausren asks, nosing the human's arm. "You seem very shaken."

At the contact, Leo realizes that the scales have made another appearance, wrapping slimly around his limb and covering his torso with the protective armor. "Oh," the boy mutters. "I didn't even realize they were back."

Ausren sniffs at him again, seeming concerned, and buts the human with his nose. "You're positive you're okay?"

"Yes. I'm alright. That was Dneir? Why was he here?" Leo asks, brushing the dragon's nose away and standing up. The vertigo has subsided, thankfully.

"Yes, that was Dneir. And if I had to take a guess at why he was here, I'd say it was to confirm if I was dead, alive and injured, or with you," Ausren replies, his eyes turning to where Dneir was perched.

Following the dragon's gaze to the empty cliff, Leo asks softly, "Are you okay?"

Ausren immediately turns to the human, his head tilted sideways and his thoughts colored with confusion. "I'm quite fine. Why?"

"Er, it just seemed like you two had a history. You didn't want to fight him."

"Hmm," Ausren purrs. "Well, I do have a very long history with Dneir. He's practically my brother. We were raised together."

Leo blinks, suddenly confused. "And you left him for me? Why?"

Ausren smirks, sitting beside the human and turning his attention back to the cliff. "We'll see. He's very loyal, and he knows me well. He might yet chase after me. Or, perhaps he'll go and attempt to protect my little brother."

"Your little brother?" Leo asks, looking up at the

Ausren smiles. "Yes. I have three surviving younger brothers, and a younger sister. The only one who I care about is Niksyrovi. He's the youngest, and he's no fighter. He's the only diplomat out of the group of us. Without me he'll probably be torn to shreds."

"And you're willing to leave him? For me?"

"Well, I took a gamble. But yes. I'm not too terribly close with him. He just always seemed young and innocent, so my older brothers and I protected him," Ausren replies, shrugging his shoulders in a very human-esque manner. "Anyway, I don't think we'll have to worry about Dneir any longer. I believe he's going to go back and protect Rovi."

"Rovi?" Leo questions. "Is that a nickname for Niksyrovi?"

"Yes," Ausren replies, finally looking down at the human. He spares the saddle a glance, before surging back to his feet. "Well, if I didn't scare you out of it, are you still up to try out our homemade saddle?"

Leo let's his eyes slide to the saddle, grimacing. "Yes. Just promise not to take me off on a branch."

Ausren grins, shifting his feet to a wider stance, and replies, "I promise. Hop on."

Giving the dragon what is hopefully an intimidating glare, Leo carefully places one foot in the left stirrup, stretching uncomfortably to do so. The new leather groans in protest, but holds.

Reaching up above his head, the boy snags one of the leather handles sewn into the saddle specifically for the purpose of giving him something to hold onto. With one hand secured in the handle and the other secured on one of the small black spikes lining Ausren's spine, Leonidas hauls himself off the ground. Swinging his leg over, careful not to hit the dragon's wing, Leo settles himself in the saddle. It is considerably more comfortable than the dragon's scaled back and much more secure. With stirrups and handles now available, Leo feels much less like he's going to fall right off the back of the dragon.

The only problem is that the stirrups are not even close to the correct length.

"One moment," Leo mutters to the dragon, bending down and yanking on the straps until they are properly adjusted. Finally settled comfortably, Leo slips one hand back into the handle and takes a deep breath.

Glancing up, he sees Ausren, looking back at him over one shoulder. As soon as they make eye contact Ausren seems to soften a little, and he murmurs, "I won't drop you."

Steeling himself, Leo gulps, and then whispers, "I'm ready."