Chapter 03: Resting Time

[Starting world "I have a dimensional chat"]

- Yay~! - Along with Tanya's excited shout, the assholes disappeared from the world.

...And they couldn't have been luckier, because right after they disappeared, a thunderstorm started and more than 10 lightning bolts struck where they used to be.

Then a big hurricane started and finally there was an earthquake that almost completely wiped out Kuoh.

...

Back to the assholes

- Touch anything and I swear I will surgically castrate you with a spoon - Tanya said with a smile as she led the assholes into her house.

Yeah, I wasn't doing the same as Ryu by letting them run around with no limits.

Who knew if what happened before would happen again? Yeah, no thanks, I definitely didn't want to be followed by a fatty with questionable taste in traps.

One jGCurious is more than enough.

- So what's for lunch? - Zek asked as he went and sat down quietly in a chair.

[Systems in process of activation, system users are advised to get in comfortable places]

Instantly Kira and Curious fainted while Tanya and Carplex were feeling a pretty bad headache.

After all having their systems forcibly activated and merged with their current new system was not a pleasant feeling.

- Quick, let's check their wallets," said Guren pointing to Kira and Carplex while whispering in Ryu's ear.

- Great, free money - Said Edu as he went over to take out the wallets.

- Ah Edu beat us - Ryu said with a somewhat disappointed face.

- Damn you! -

....

The days went by and the assholes were trying to get used to their new bodies a little bit more.

In a few words... The assholes went out to try to pick up hot girls and milfs (Carplex, Guren, Edu and Zek).

While others tried to get into the underworld business (Kira, Curious, Necro and Ryu).

In the end, the only one who remained happy in his laziness was Tanya...

A very normal week for this super powerful team of assholes.

Well, not counting when Tanya's loli sister came to visit and found him having a drinking contest but that's a story for another day.

As always, not all good things are meant to last forever.

...

[Emergency mission:

008 AyanamiTanya, an intruder has been detected trying to force his way into your home world, estimated arrival in specifically two hours]

[Objective 01: Eliminate the intruder

Objective 02: Totally destroy his army and allies.

Objective 03: Torture him mercilessly].

At that precise moment, Tanya spat a large spurt of coffee on Kira as she was shocked.

- HOLY SHIT IT'S HOT! - shouted the furry while writhing around.

- You guys just saw it.... Ah right Carplex is blind - Said Tanya remembering that Carplex was now blinder than a guy falling in love with a feminist.

- Hey - Carplex shouted - I may not be able to see you with my eyes, but that doesn't mean I can't hear you you damn femboy! -

- Yeah yeah, and nobody cares about you - Said Curious as he focused on the mission ignoring the "Orangutan motherfucker" the blind man had blurted out - What are the rewards? And how the fuck is Kira already healed?

- Regeneration bitch, Hahahaha behold the immortal furry! -

Ignoring Kira's delusions, the system sent the message with the information about the rewards and the new target

[Rewards: Unlocking the status function

Drain Touch

Premium Gacha Shots X2

Random reward X1]

[Name: Yun Che

Golden Finger: NTR Cultivation System

Characteristics: He is a reincarnate that already dominated his world and is in search of new worlds to conquer, unfortunately... for him, he stumbled upon this world that puts a lot of resistance to his entrance, the intruder's goal is to dominate the different variations of DxD World and have the largest harem in existence.

Tip: Hunter Ayanami is advised to be careful with him, this pervert seems to have a particular fixation for femboys].

- I want the body of that son of a bitch - Curious said with a smile, needless to say that everyone immediately moved away from him while giving him suspicious and disappointed looks.

- Jorge... Not that I'm judging you or anything but could you be less... disgusting? - Said Tanya as she hid behind Ryu.

- Why don't you say anything to him? So unfair! - shouted Guren while pointing at the edgy guy.

- Tanya does pay me," Ryu said as the femboy passed him a wad of bills.

- Damn, I can't fight that - Guren muttered as he sulked in a corner.

- Fuck your mother you fucking femboy who likes to get fucked from behind! - Shouted Curious as he stood up suddenly - I just want to take the bastard's body and turn him into a fucking zombie slave -

- Makes sense... I call for the treasures! - Said Edu without missing the opportunity

- Hey, that's not fair... I call Jasmine! - Said Carplex and everyone gave him funny looks - Redheads are justice -

- What about me? - asked Zek but he regretted it when he saw the smiles on Kira and Edu's faces.

- Like all good obedient children, you should go to school young man - Necro said and before he could get away Edu held him down.

- Let go of me you pervert! - shouted Zek unable to resist.

- Take it easy, here's your uniform! - Said Kira while she was changing him at an insane speed - 3... 2... 1 Ready! -

- Pffff -

- Hahahahahaha -

With a multitude of crazed laughter Zek left for the pre-school with a dejected look on his face.

**********************************************************************

OMAKE 02: The Day Ryu Destroyed China

(Set in a parallel universe where the assholes didn't die)

It all started that night

01/08/22

Starting a sleepover after Ryu kicked out all the people that Curious and Edu had tried to get in.

A nice couple of cold ones were served and the assholes started talking about their dreams.

- And what will you do Kira? - Carplex asked while hugging an Esdeath dakimakura.

(KW: The Dakimakura I'm almost 100% sure they were those big pillows with waifus)

- I don't know, maybe I'll live up to my name and become a bomber - Said the furry making a certain boy smile like a predator that had found its prey.

At the surprised look of everyone, Ryukides opened a secret compartment on the side of a wall.

There you could see marijuana plants and a shoebox with a piece of paper taped to it with the words "My Dream" written on it.

- I'll tell you my plan, remember it well - Ryu said as he threw the box towards the bed accidentally hitting Guren in the face.

After opening the box he took out several sets of maps, in them you could see marked important strategic points for the country as well as some other house or residence that the assholes had no fucking idea who it belonged to.

- The first thing is to plant bombs all over the Chinese Congress or whatever the fuck it's called - Ryu said while his usual edgy air was changed to a hyper active one.

A feeling that was backed up by Kira's excitement, Curious's rampant racism, Carplex's smoked out instinct and Edu's heroism in wanting to rid the world of that being of darkness known as "Chinese writers".

- Then blowing it all to hell and killing every Chinese person in sight -

- And how are you going to finance everything? - Carplex asked as he crossed his arms and frowned, the plan was beautiful, it was beautiful but there was still that small detail.

How were they going to finance it? No matter how beautiful their ideal was, without the money to back it up, it would never amount to anything.

- ...As much as it pains me I will have to sell my drugs, besides, will you help me finance it? -

- Crazy, as long as you let those sons of bitches get killed I have no problem - said Edu while smiling brightly.

Ryu nodded with a smile as he patted the Venezuelan's man before proceeding with his plan.

- When I assassinate the leaders of China I will go after the soldiers, then I will go after the writers of Fanfics, movies, comics and Webcomics, when I have killed them I will have Chinese culture erased from history -

- Are you smoking, Ryu? - asked Carplex

- Not much! - Said the boy while his eyes were red and he let out some smoke from his mouth.

All the assholes were amazed at the brilliance of the plan.

Kira was even preparing his explosives and calling his contacts to have them smuggled to China.

- It will be a myth like the Gods in Greece, then I will erase the Chinese language from the Earth and make all the Chinese become Argentines and forget about their nationalities and everything related, the only Chinese that will be left is Taiwan, I forgive them, they wanted to warn us about the Covid and then I will exterminate every Asian country on the face of the earth -

- ...What about Japan and more importantly, anime? - Guren asked while rubbing the bump on his head.

- Ah no more if true, well they and Korea will be reformed. Not exterminated but reformed," said Kira while writing it down in a notebook.

- I think we should conquer Mexico, Colombia? No, all of Latam must be reformed! - Said Curious with a smile that would make even the best James Bond villains proud.

- I like that enthusiasm soldier! - Said Ryu as he gave some of his marijuana stash to the girl scarecrow.

- Stay away from South Korea you bastard! I've got my +18 novels in production over there waiting! - Guren shouted as he jumped up and grabbed Ryu by his neck.

Unlike what the asshole expected Ryu kept a cool head and didn't panic.

- The Koreans deserved to die - His words fell like a bucket of cold water on Guren's head - So we kill the BTS Fans, although we can also give them the benefit of choice - Said the guy with a magnanimous smile.

- They will either commit suicide or adapt to the change.

Kira, Carplex and Edu's eyes were shining with excitement at the prospect of killing those bitches.

- I support the Edgy in that, BTS and their fans must die - The furry even if he was sick in the head knew how to differentiate between what was right and what was definitely wrong - The revolution waits for no one, either you accept the change in your heart or you get lead in your face. Your choice -

Guren finally threw himself on the bed in surrender, accepting the fate of Korea.

- It's easier to get that pest out of the territory than to hunt them down - He said while not denying that the BTS fans were on another level of madness - They are like filthy rats, but worse -

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