<Chapter five>

IN LOVE--ISH.

Hinata sat alone in the living room, Ren had left for work and Drew was at  his boyfriend's. She cradled a cup of coffee thinking about the encounter she had the night before with Ren.

She was aware of the feelings developing in her heart, she just thought she had them in check.

Memories of the emotional moment they had was flooding her mind, the burning kiss they shared, the was she felt when he touched her.  She buried her face in her palm in an attempt to block out the images. "Ooh how could I have been so stupid?...I should never have kissed him. Well...he did sort of kissed me back,"

"I did ,didn't I?"

"Ren!" She flinched at the sound of his voice. "I didn't hear you come in."

"Yeah, you were probably engrossed in your...thoughts." His gaze lowered to her lips and his hunger for her came pouring back. He quickly reverted back to her eyes but it didn't exactly help matters because he always found her golden eyes enchanting.

"Why are you home so early?" She tried changing the subject to lighten up the mood even though the air around then was heavy.

"I couldn't concentrate at work, had a lot on my mind."

"Right okay, well I'll be in my room."

"Hinata wait, we need to talk."

Hinata wasn't sure she was ready to talk about her feelings. She definitely wasn't sure she was ready to start dating yet. "Can it wait, I just remembered that I have to...do my laundry."

"Hinata, please." She sat back down and waited for him to start. He sighed deeply and took a seat next to her. "Hinata, I know you have feelings for me."

"Oh you see--"

"I think I have feelings for you too."

"You do?"

"Yes, but, I am not ready to put my heart out there just yet."

She wasn't ready to date either but hearing him say it felt like rejection, and it hurt her slightly. "Oh,"

"You're an amazing woman, and dating you would be wonderful I'm sure but--"

"You're not ready yet."

"Yes."

"I understand and I feel the same way. Can I go now?"

"You're mad?"

"Mad?"

"Right. I keep forgetting, angry, are you angry?"

"No." She wasn't angry, rather she was disappointed. The man she was falling in love with didn't want her. "I'll be going to my room now and I'd like to be alone for a while."

"Okay."

                   <~~~~~~~~~~ππ~~~~~~~~~~>

A man laid  stomach down on the ground, he seemed to be in pain. "What is happening to me?" Hinata couldn't see the person he was talking to because he was shielded by the shadows.

"Why...do I feel this way?" Every word coming from his mouth seemed to be spoken with force. "Help...me."

His skin was fiery red and he had hair, long and as white as snow. He  groaned in pain but no one  helped him. His skin started to glow and he let out an agonizing shriek.

"Finally, its time."

"At last."

                    <~~~~~~~~~~ππ~~~~~~~~~~>

Hinata felt someone's presence and when she opened her eyes, Ren was watching her intensely. "Am I that beautiful?" He laughed at her comment and she sat up. "Do you need something?, you should have just woken me up."

"I didn't want to disturb you, you seemed deeply asleep."

"I guess I was. I had another dream, but it wasn't about me this time." Since she opened up to Ren about seeing glimpse of her past life in her dreams, he had been eager to learn more about her, and she was too.

"Who did you see this time?"

"That's the thing, I'm not sure I know him."

She had been trying to remember why her sister stabbed her but her memory still wasn't coming back to her.

"Don't beat yourself up too much, I'm sure it'll come to you."

"So, you wanted to tell me something?"

"Drew is here with Misaki and we were going to watch a movie so I wanted to know if you'd like to join us."

"Sure, I'd love to." She smiled but it only lasted a second before her expression changed. Having Ren so close to her only reminded her of the feelings she had for him.

He seemed to be affected by the closeness as well because he refused to meet her gaze. He stood up from her bed and she knelt so she could be closer to him. "I know I'm not supposed to do this but..." She pressed her lips against his but he refused to deepen the kiss. She pulled back, disappointed. "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. It's not that I don't want to, it's just that--"

"You're not ready, yeah. Why don't you head out first,  I'll be down in a minute." She watched him leave, embarrassed that she was practically forcing herself on him.

                                      <ππππππ>

"Hey."

Hinata was shocked to find Ren in the living room. She had intentionally waited till after ten before coming out because she knew he always left early for work. "Good morning."

"Morning. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes."

"Good. You've been avoiding me."

"No, I've just been...busy."

"Busy?"

"Yes. I've been so busy with trying to get my memories back that I haven't really had time for anything else. Why aren't you at work?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"If it's about the English lesson, I don't think its necessary anymore."

"Its not?"

"Yeah, I'm not so sure I still want to learn it. Since the plan is to regain my memories and fins a way to go back home."

"Right." He looked sad even she mentioned going back but he didn't protest. "Anyway it's not about that. I wanted to discuss what happened the other night."

The other night.

The night when she thought he wanted her. The night when she got rejected, again. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I do. We can't avoid this issue forever."

"Yes I can, besides when I leave none of it will matter anymore."

"Well you're still here now!, so it matters."

"What do you want to say?" She folded her arms and focused her gaze at the wall behind him, refusing to make eye contact.

"I don't know if you noticed but, Misaki and I used to date."

Of course she knew, Misaki was always around him  and she hated seeing her next to him. Hinata might have been young, and inexperienced but she could tell when a woman loved a man.

"She wants to get back together."

"What?" She looked at him then. "So, you didn't reject me because you weren't ready, it was because of her?" She wanted him to say something, to find a way to reassure her, to tell her that he didn't love Misaki and that she was the one he wanted. "Ren?"

"I'm so sorry Hinata, I care for you, honestly I really do. It's just that Misaki is carrying my baby and I can't abandon her at a time like this."

Hinata felt heartbroken, dispirited, upset and most of all, she felt angry. It felt like something like that had happened to her before, like she was being rejected all over again and it broke her.

"Hinata?, are you okay?"

She turned to look at him, determined not to cry. "Am I okay?" She didn't know the answer to that question, she felt betrayed and she didn't know why. Ren never asked her to be his girlfriend but she was feeling like he cheated on her.

"Hinata, you're scaring me."

"Of course I am!, I'm always scaring everyone. Dad, Kiyomi, Genji...and now you. I'm always the bad one!." She stormed off leaving Ren alone.