The Chibi Files: Case 1: The Murder Family

This was all Moxie's fault. If he'd just shut up and shot the bitch, the matriarch of the murderous family. Blitz was sure none of this would've happened.

Blitz had stumbled upon on old shrine, of an ancient nameless warlord: he tried to make out the etchings on the slab of stone. But it became painstakingly clear that this ancient being wanted to remain nameless.

"Shit, shit, Shit" He cursed. as a bright light seared through his body, a dead language whispered in his head. His bones cracked and reformed. Blitz screams; his blood boils in his veins.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit" Blitz hisses swearing that he could hear Millie's blood-curdling scream echo from some unknown location as the celestial light vanishes, his body throbs with pain as he crumbles to his hand and knees. The sleeves on his jacket are suddenly two sizes too big and he is swimming in his clothes.

He looks up at Millie, and her eyes are wide as saucers. Blitzo stumbles back, landing on his rear as his phone begins to ring.

Shots rang out.

" I know your hurtin little devil, I promise! I can make that pain go away real quick; just come let mamma Martha put a bullet in your pretty little skull". The murderess sang as she walked through the woods.

Moxie, Millie, and Blitz hid behind the line of trees; Blitzo cupped his mouth to keep from screaming, his heart pounding in his chest. as he fumbles again with his phone. He was skimming his thumb over the green button.

"Dammit Stolas, this is a really bad time," Blitz whispers into the phone.

"When isn't it a bad time Blitzy" Stolas says in an itty-bitty voice, sinking into his bubble bath.

"What is it! I'm kind of busy! Blitz demands.

"I" ve been meaning to follow up on or last little conversation regarding my grimoire," He says while popping a bubble.

"What did you just call me?" Blitz hisses into the phone.

" My book Blitzy- the book I was given to do my job, that I allowed you to do yours." Stolas reminded him. Just as a gunshot went off, and Blitz ducks as bark flies, leaving a crater-sized hole in the trunk of the tree.

"Shit," he grumbles into the phone; crouching low, he begins to creep away.

"I can hear ya darlin," Martha calls, "what the hell happened to you?, thought you were bigger?"

"Any who, I've been thinking, you know how I've been permitting you to access the mortal realm, less than legally for some time now, but I do need my book back to full-fill my duties." " I thought if we could work out some kind exchange, a favor for favors, doesn't that sound enticing?" his voice drops into a seductive silique

Blitzo ran as a bullet grazed his side, "You got to stop using your fancy-rich-ass people talk, I'm trying to concentrate on not getting fucked in my A."

He pulls back his hand, revealing blood.

"Then let me keep this simple, once a month on the full moon, you return the book to me followed by a night of passionate fornication, and you get to keep the book the rest of the time, sound fair, my little imp."

"Fine whatever!"

"Gotcha pretty little thing, can't wait to mount your head on my wall."

Blitzo squirmed as Ralphie poured gasoline onto him. He spluttered and spat out the flammable liquid.

"And I had that fucking shot, goddamnit Moxie!"

"Satan we return your filthy creatures back to the pits of hell," grins Martha waving a torch. "May the root of all evil be honored as we continue thyine work." Martha says while throwing the torch down. The fire crawled across the ground before lapping at their bodies.

"Yeah, that's not exactly how it works, lady, fire doesn't really hurt us, but I can fake it if that gets your dick hard."

"Oh!- Well then I'll shoot ya in your smart ass mouth." Said Martha.

"That would be more effective," Blitz replies.

'Blitzo! Millie scolds.

Martha raises her rifle and aims it at Blitz; her eyes widen in surprise as a bullet pierces her head.

"That was close," Moxie says, stepping up to untie Millie and Blitz

"Bout time you showed up, now that's out of the way how are we going to fix this?" He grits, jerking a thumb towards himself.

"I think he looks cute Mox, why don't we keep him?" Millie chimed, leaning over to pick up the Chibi version of Blitzo.

Blitz grimaces as Millie accidently grazes her hand against the bullet wound, groaning once he remembered the phone call from Stolas.

Millie looked on with concern, " Shit, now how am I going to get out of this one? thought Blitzo to himself. But avoiding Stolas was like trying to escape the Jehovah Witnesses, once they catch your scent.

Sooner or later, the owlish prince was bound to catch on that something strange was going on with his little imp.

How was he going to break the news to Loony? How the hell was he supposed to do his job? Without someone trying to hug him to death.

"Millie, your squishing me," Blitzo wheezes.

"Oh sorry, just couldn't help myself Blitzo, what are we gonna do?"

"We're going to take Mrs. Mayberry's money, and go by me a whole new wardrobe first, than I have to break the news to a horny owl."

"And Moxie, if you try to do anything like that again, I'll fuck you and your wife," says Blitz flipping open a phone, talking to Loona. "Loony- sweetie were ready to go home! and don't freak out on daddy, Moxie says he can fix this"