Harsh reality

ARC I - Her Tragic Life

WARNING: Emotional damage, suicide talks and a lot of mental issues would be talked alot in this chapter and the rest of the story. Please prepared before reading this chap and book!

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''Irie.''

''Yes calla?'' A cheery voice answered her call.

''H-How is your relationship? I-I haven't asked about it in a while.'' Talking about him always made her stutter because of one thing.

Guilt.

Guilt for having feelings for her twin sister's boyfriend.

''Oh! It's going great! He bought me Iris flowers one time. He said these flowers reminded him of myself. I never knew he was a romantic person since most of the time he was quiet during our dates.'' Her twin sister chuckled happily at the end of her sentence.

''But he likes you, right?'' She asked…no, forced herself to ask that question, trying to ignore the pieces of her shattering heart.

''...He does.'' Her twin sister answered after a short pause. ''Even though he doesn't talk most of the time, his actions showed a lot and I am honestly fine with that. Everything is fine as long as his feelings for me has not changed.'' She added, thoughtfully.

''...And you like him?'' She slowly asked once more. Despite the words from her twin sister that continuously broke her heart, she wanted to hear them for some reason. Maybe those words were the key to shutting down her feelings. Her unnecessary feelings that would only and surely bring harm to herself.

''Of course, Calla.'' Her twin sister turned her head to the side on the fluffy pillow, meeting her forceful steady gaze. She stared with a beaming wide smile full of love for the person of their conversation. ''I like him! I like him very much!''

''…Okay.'' She mumbled after a short pause. Turning away, she had her gaze fixed on the ceiling, avoiding her twin sister's affectionate gaze. ''As long as you are happy.'' Her lips tried to show a smile, but it was really hard when such smile was not from the heart.

But…

As always, she must show a smile to cover up her true feelings. 

''Hmmm…I feel you guys will be perfect for each other though.'' Her twin sister's words startled her, and she whisked her head on the fluffy pillow, her gaze landing on the latter laid beside her on the king-sized bed.

''W-What do you mean….Irie?'' She sounded breathless, almost as if she just finished running a marathon, but the cause of it all was because of her sister's words.

She and him were perfect for each other.

Just reciting those words in her heart were enough for her to be a stuttering mess. Her heart thumped loudly against her ribcage, only audible for her flushed ears. Despite the feeling of guilt, she couldn't help but rejoice in elation. Those words truly made her happy.

How utterly sickening.

She was thoroughly disgusted with every inch of herself.

''You both are very introverted. You don't like to mix with other people and he is the same. You both are lovers of animals, especially dogs. There are many similarities between you guys. Sometimes, I feel he was made for you and not for me.'' Her twin sister stated her observations.

Of course she knew about that. She knew his likes and dislikes. Having someone so similar to herself made her feel that she belonged somewhere in this world….with him. It felt like her place was with him….beside him….like his girlfriend and wife. That might be the reason why she fell so hard for someone like him. Someone who currently belonged to her twin sister.

''That's why I can't wait for you to find your person, like how I found mine. Rather than who you seek for, I just want someone who loves you for you, Calla. I don't want someone to fall for you because of our family or me.'' Her twin sister smiled so innocently to her, not knowing the disgusting thoughts of her boyfriend going on in her own head.

''Yes…Irie.'' She gave a small smile with a choked voice and a lone tear trailing down her cheek.

'Sister, I am sorry for having these feelings.' She apologized in heart while her precious twin sister started to fuss over her crying self.

****

*Knock* *Knock*

*Knock* *Knock*

''Madam, it's time to get up. Breakfast is almost ready.'' A voice came from the other side of the closed door to a bedroom. Moving past the plain interior decor of the bedroom with two dull and minimal colors, a sleeping figure could be seen breathing steadily on the bed.

*Knock* *Knock*

*Knock* *Knock*

''Madam?'' Still calling out, the person opened the door a bit and peeked toward the sleeping figure on the bed.

''I heard you, Carol.'' A sleepy but audible voice immediately answered her.

The voice did not startle the woman named Carol. This had been how she and the sleeping figure always started a new day.

''As you wish, Madam.'' The middle-aged woman named Carol withdrew respectfully and shut the door to finish up the morning meal in the kitchen.

Back in the room, there was no sign of movement on the bed until the sleeping figure turned over on her back and her blurry vision focused on the white ceiling. Her dark lashes fluttered several times, till she got a clear vision.

''...A dream.'' Her hoarse whisper sounded in the room. Just like what happened in the dream, a lone tear trickling down the normal side of her cheeks.

''I am sorry, Irie.'' She apologized to no one, but the dead. The dead that can never be alive again.

Over the years after her twin sister's death, she had been tormented with many circumstances. One of them was the dreams.

Dreams of her dearest twin sister, Iris.

There weren't fluffy dreams or dreams she could share with another. That's if anyone would want to listen to her or speak to her, including her parents.

Most of the dreams she had, were of her twin sister asking why she had killed her. 

Why she did not concentrate on the road?

Why she was the only one who survived out of both of them?

Why she did not sacrifice her own life as the elder twin?

Why she took her place as his wife?

Why she had those feelings for him, indirectly betraying their sisterly trust for each other?

Why she is living in the house that never belonged to her in the first place?

Many times in different dreams, her twin sister always asked many why's.

Did she make an effort to get rid of the dreams? Absolutely not.

There was nothing she did to get rid of the haunting dreams. Most times, she felt she deserved to be treated like this. She felt her sister should have her revenge by tormenting her through these dreams.

They were times she had urges to end her life.

But she couldn't. Her fingers trembled just at the mere thought of slitting her neck with a knife or blade. The wrist would be a waste of time, but the neck was probably fastest way to death, since her head would dangle on the side with blood gushing out like water from a fountain.

 But….

she couldn't.

Even having an imagination of the scenario was unbearable, and unfair to her twin sister.

Her twin sister wouldn't be able to have her revenge since she would not be living anymore. She also did not have the heart to abandon her husband who had been her twin sister's fiancée.

Even if the man didn't love her and currently despised her for killing her twin sister, she did not have the heart to leave him behind in this world.

Also, if she died, who said her death would be peaceful? What if she also suffered when she was not the world anymore? She read on the internet that death was actually peaceful…but…was it?

In the end, she had so many questions roaming in her heart. Since it was like that, she did not bother to kill herself and remain in this world.

The dream she had before waking up now was probably the first peaceful dream in a long time. To be more honest, It wasn't actually a dream, but a memory. 

A memory of her sister and herself.

That moment was past the time when her twin sister had started to date him. The man that forever occupied her heart. Even if she had been the one who actually met him first, her twin sister was still one that took every corner of his heart.

His heart still belonged to her twin sister, even after her death. There was no little space for herself as his current wife.

'We are only married in name. Everything of mine will always belong to Iris, and not a person who selfishly killed her own twin sister for wealth.' He heartlessly told her on the day of their wedding.

Wait…could she even call it a wedding? No one had wanted to see her or bothered to listen to her words. They all had believed that she killed her twin sister, even if the police had proven that there was a problem with the brakes and the truck driver had alcohol in his body system.

Though it had been like that, she took that day she and him had signed their marital papers in his office as their wedding day. Could she even call them marital papers or contract papers? She did not know because she never read them. At that point, she didn't want get more heartbreak. She was only his wife in name, but his true wife was her dead twin sister. Nothing in this house belonged to her.

Every object, every desires, every needs, every person, would always belong to her sister, just as it had always been from birth.

''I need to get up or else I will be late.'' Pushing these depressing thoughts aside, Calla flipped the soft blanket from her body and slowly rose into a sitting position on the bed. Her eyes scanned the gray and white room, before turning her legs to fall over the edge until her feet reached her furry slippers on the ground.

It was a new day to repeat her usual routine. 

>>>Hello dear readers, I am back with a new story. Once again, thanks for your support in HUD and do forgive me for the very slow updates. Hopefully, I will complete HUD this month....hopefully. Since Isla's time is coming to an end until Damien's story...let's welcome our new female lead, Calla!<<<