Chapter 8

I must have spaced out after Marie left, because the next thing I knew Tom was waving his hand in front of my face.

"You okay?" He said, sitting down on the bed.

"Ya, I'm fine… my head kind of hurts a little so it's making it kind of hard to focus, that's all."

"You must have gotten a concussion when you hit your head."

"Maybe, I don't know, I'm still deciding whether or not I want to try messing with my head. Healing the brain is hard and I don't want to mess it up."

"I would think healing wasn't that hard after you completely healed me."

"That was a spell my mother taught me, it reverses the damages as long as the person isn't already dead. But it was extremely hard to master, and it drains almost all of my mana. I also can't use it on myself, because it's basically a mana transfer, and you know… I can't give myself my own mana."

"Ya that does sound complicated, you seem to know so much for such a young age."

"My mother taught me everything I know, even after she died she still helped me learn. And I've seen a lot of things that most adults couldn't even dream of."

"You never did say how your mother died."

"It's not something that I like to talk about."

"You don't have to if you don't want to."

"No I… I want to, someone should know what happened that day."

It was a normal day like any other… Mrs. Peters had written me a check for helping her with some chores, so mom had taken me to the bank to cash it in. I remember her being so proud of me for offering to help Mrs. Peters, we had even planned to go to the mall after and maybe get some ice cream. But we never made it past the bank that day.

As I handed my check to the clerk a masked man rushed in and held us all at gunpoint the security guards dead in seconds. He made us get on the ground, men on one side women and children on the other. He had us hand over all the money that we had on us, and one by one forced us to open our savings for him.

I had stupidly held onto my little check, to me it was just a piece of paper not money. But he spotted the paper in my shaking hands, demanding that I show him what it was. When he saw what it was he became furious and grabbed me, pointing his gun at my head as he held me tightly under his other arm. He shouted at the other hostages to hurry up and give him every penny that they had to their names, otherwise he would shoot me and anyone else who disobeyed him. Many people cried "She's just a child", and my mother begged for him to take her instead. I could see that while she was begging she was beginning to conjure a spell, one that took time to create.

There was a point where he took the gun away from my head to point it at someone else, and she took that opportunity to lunge forward. She pushed me out of her way as she tackled him, and began to fight with him over the gun. Eventually the gun was fired, no one knows if it was accidental or purposeful, but a bullet ended up hitting my mother, severely wounding her. That man took advantage of her pain and clubbed her in the head with the butt of his gun. She died instantly, and something inside me snapped, sending me into an enraged state. And in the end I ended up killing him with my magic.

"You killed someone?"

"Not on purpose. But he killed my mother, right in front of me, and I just snapped watching the person that I loved most in this world die in front of me."

"I can understand that. How old were you when it happened?"

"I was ten."

"Oh gesse, I'm so sorry, that must have been hard on you. When Millie's mother died she was just too young to have had it really affect her. But I can't imagine the kind of trauma you went through that day."

"I hate to say it, but it honestly didn't affect me at all. My brain kinda repressed the memory until I was older, so it didn't change how I grew up besides the fact that I didn't have a mother. But I'm fine really…"

"Alright, just know that I'm here if you want to talk."

"How… how did your wife die?"

"Ouch straight to the point huh, but I guess it's only fair that I share too."

"I mean you don't have to if you don't want to."

"No it's fine. It was occupational hazard, she was a physiatrist for a mental ward. She was a good doctor too, she loved helping her patients, and most of them spoke highly of her. But sometimes there's that one person you just can't fix, they don't want your help either, and nothing you do will help anyways. The patient was a drug addict and had broken into the supply room, and she had found him there. He ended up stabbing her with the syringe that he was most likely going to use on himself. They found them both dead from overdoses about an hour later."

He bowed his head in silence for a couple of minutes. The only sound the humming and beeping from the machines next to me.

"Her parents were the family that I had, but they refused to speak to me after she died. I think that they blamed me for her death, and I wouldn't blame them, after all she was their only daughter."

"But it was an accident, and you weren't even there, how is it your fault."

"Because I'm the reason she moved here in the first place. She and I didn't get married at such a young age for just the fun of it. She had gotten pregnant and wanted to keep the baby, so we decided to get married since I had to move here. Her parents probably hated me for "knocking her up", and then to top it off, making her move with me. And then she had a miscariage, and we were devastated. Her parents begged her to come home, but she refused and that made the rift bigger between us and her parents. Eventually we had Millie, but she ended up passing away a few months later."

"That still doesn't explain why they blame you for her death."

"They blame me for her leaving and think that none of it would have happened if I hadn't done that to her."

"But it's not your fault, it was both of you that decided to do it, and it was her decision to keep the baby, and it was her decision to stay with you, because she loved you. You didn't force her to do any of that, it was her choice. So I hope that you don't believe what they think, because none of it is your fault."

"I know that it's not my fault, and if I had the choice to go back I wouldn't change a thing, except for letting her go to work that day. But I'm happy, I still have my little princess, and she is enough to keep me happy. I just wish that her grandparents wanted to be apart of her life, she deserves to have them in it."

"Maybe someday you can reconcile with them." I said, putting my hand on his and giving it an affirmative squeeze.

"Thank you. Maybe sometime soon I should try, that near death experience did help to put some things into perspective."

The door slid open and a nurse came in. "Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt, but the gentleman that was with you earlier is currently fighting someone in the parking lot. And well we were hoping that you could help us break it up."

"Here" Marie said, handing me her lighter.

We stood outside the entrance to the hospital. I was leaning against one of the columns, and she went to sit on a bench nearby.

"You know it's been awhile since I've had a good smoke." Marie said.

"I said no talking."

She continued anyways. "Lily would always get mad when she found out that I had been smoking. She'd always lecture me on how bad it is for my body, and once she even tried to heal all of the side effects in an attempt to keep me from doing that again."

"Well clearly that didn't stop you, otherwise you wouldn't be here pestering me."

"Oh it did, it wasn't a pleasant experience seeing the stuff she pulled out of my lungs. This isn't a normal cigarette like what you're smoking. No this is made out of magical medicinal herbs that are supposed to help one's health."

"So then it's some kind of drug?"

"Oh heavens no, I can't get high at work. It's something that Lily showed me how to make to help me quit smoking, so you know that there's nothing toxic in them. Here try it." She said handing me one.

I took it, inspecting it before lighting it. It looked like a normal cigarette on the outside, but the inside was a cool green color with some hints of blue at the edges of the swirl on the inside. It was clearly homemade, and probably made out of the leaves of the herbs that she spoke about. When I lit it the smoke coming off was a smoky light blue color.

"Huh, I can definitely tell that this is made out of some sort of herb that has healing properties. It gives me the same sensation as when Lily healed me, just reduced to a smaller amount."

"I told you, it's actually a lot better than smoking that other stuff. And it's something that I give to my patients that have smoking problems."

"You should try selling them."

"Didn't expect that from you, saying as it would help people if I did that. But sadly I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because the only place that I've been able to find enough herbs for mass producing is a place where legally I'm not supposed to be, cause the sign says no trespassing. And my small supply isn't nearly enough."

"What the fuck are you doing here you shit head!" Someone shouted from across the parking lot.

I recognized the voice, but I pretended not to notice Derick as he stormed closer.

"Don't ignore me you piece of shit!"

"Do you know this guy?" Marie whispered. "He sounds like dick."

"Ya that's Lily's boyfriend. I'm going to continue to ignore him, but I am not going to let him past this spot."

"I agree, if he's why Lily is sick then I'm going to let him hurt her again."

"You can't ignore me forever. That was a pretty low move coming here before me to try to seduce my girl."

"She is not your girl Derick, she's her own person." I said as I stood up.

He stopped in front of me, his anger spread thickly across his face. I blew a puff of smoke in his face and that pissed him off even more.

"She is my girl, and she belongs to me, she doesn't get a choice in that matter."

"I don't know why you care if she's yours so much when it's obvious that you don't love her at all."

"And what, you think that you do. You just met her yesterday so you don't love her either."

"But I actually care about her well being, unlike you. It's your fault that she's in the damn hospital. You and your controlling nature almost got her killed."

"I think it's best for her health that you leave" Marie said.

"And who the hell are you to tell me what to do."

"I'm the doctor that's treating her."

"Oh I see, how much do you want in order for me to go in and see her." He said pulling out his wallet.

"I don't want your filthy money!" She said, slapping his hand away. "I am also her best friend who loves and cares for her very much. And I will not let you past these doors so you can try to hurt her further. No amount of your money will change that, so take your stupid face and leave!"

"Why you little bitch!" He said, trying to slap her across the face.

I caught his hand just before it hit her face.

"I may not like this woman very much, but I will not let you lay a finger on her when it will make Lily cry." I thrust his hand away, stepping in front of Marie. "So if you have a problem, then you can take it up with me."

"I think I will!" He shouted as he lunged forward, trying to punch me in the face.

I easily dodged it as I swiftly moved to the side. He stumbled as he missed, but quickly tried to make up for it by throwing his fist upwards. This time I caught his hand instead of dodging, and then slammed my fist into his face.

"Marie go inside and call security while I keep him busy." I said as Derick stumbled backwards, clutching his cheek.

He tried to go after her, but I grabbed him by the hair, kneeing him in the gut.

"You know it's been awhile since I've been in a street fight so I'm a bit rusty." I said, shaking the hand that I used to hit him a bit.

"After this she's going to hate you." He said, smiling smugly as he wiped a bit of blood away from the edge of his mouth.

He was clearly up to something as he tried to lunge at me again. But right now that wasn't my concern. He managed to hit me this time, but it barely hurt my face. In a twist maneuver I side kicked him, sending him flying as he skid across the concrete.

"Hey! You boys need to stop this fighting right now and take it somewhere else!" A security guard shouted from the entrance.

"This doesn't concern you old man, this isn't disturbing the patients so stay out of it."

"Joseph why are you fighting that shithead, he's not worth it!" I heard Tom shouted from where the security guard was at.

The audience that had gathered stood helpless at the entrance, unsure of what to do.

"One he tried to hit Marie, and then he tried to punch me in the face. Two he won't stop trying to knock me out until I let him see Lily. And three I'm not letting that happen. You hear me you asshole, she's already suffered enough!"

And then I heard a small voice that I knew that shouted something that froze everyone still.

"STOP IT!"

"Wait! Miss nurse can I go down to. I'm feeling alot better now, and I'm sure that I can help" I said.

"I don't know little miss, I don't think that the doctor would approve of that."

"I'm sure that she would, she's my friend. Please, I just want to help!"

"Oh alright" She said, picking me up and putting me into a wheelchair.

She had me hold onto the stand for the IV as she hurriedly pushed the wheelchair down the hallway towards the elevator. When we finally reached the ground floor she pushed me towards the entrance to the hospital, where we ran into Marie.

"What are you doing out of bed… oh never mind that, you can help, come on."

I heard shouting as she pushed me closer to the crowd of people at the door. Nurses and other staff members stood huddled around the door, whispering about what was going on outside.

And then I saw it, Derick and Joseph were fighting, arguing over something. I had only seen this part of it, but it seemed so one sided, like Joseph was trying to beat Derick up or something. And in that moment when Joseph side kicked him, I couldn't hear anything, my body felt like it was paralized. I watched the guard shout something at them, and then Tom shouted something, and then Joseph said something, but I couldn't hear any of it.

His arm pulled back like he was going to try to hit Derick again. And then my body started moving, my legs stood up and began running on their own. Words came out of my mouth but I couldn't hear them. The IV was ripped from my arm as I ran, and then just as I reached Joseph my legs gave out and I collapsed onto him.

"Please… don't hurt him" I panted as I clung to his leg to keep from falling, my whole body shaking.

"Why are you still defending him?" He said, shocked. "Lily I… you're bleeding." He said, tentatively reaching a hand out towards me.

Derick rushed over and pulled me away from him. My body still weak, so he held me close to help hold me up so I wouldn't fall.

"Lily you have to stay away from this man, he's dangerous. I was just trying to walk into the hospital when him and that woman tried to gang up on me, and then he just started beating me up."

"That's bullshit and you know it!" Joseph said.

"See he's getting mad for no reason."

I was so confused, I didn't know who I was supposed to believe, and my head was spinning.

"Wait… did you say a woman, do you mean Marie?" I said, and then I looked at Joseph and he nodded, a hope that I would believe him in his eyes. "Marie wouldn't do that, she's not the type to pick fights."

"Well maybe you don't know her as well as you think you do."

"You shut your stupid mouth right now!" Marie said as she stormed over, a timid nurse following behind her with the wheelchair. "I don't like that you're trying to fill her head with bullshit lies you scumbag."

The nurse helped me sit in the wheelchair, and Marie kneeled down next to it.

"Look I know that this is all really confusing for you because you don't know who you can trust to tell you the truth. But you know me, you've known me for forever, and you know that I would never lie to you. So you can believe me when I say that beyond a shadow of a doubt that Derick is lying his ass off to you."

"Lily don't listen to her, she's just jealous of our relationship so she's making that up to seperate us. If I started it then why am I the only one with bruises!?"

"Oh just shut up, you and I both know that you tried to hit me first, and that anything that came after that is your own damn fault."

"Stop it!" I said, clutching my head as the headache started pounding. "I can't think between all of this arguing."

"I'd like to see your proof, saying as it's your word against mine, and I don't see any security cameras around to clear your story."

"It doesn't prove your story either dumbass." She whispered. "It just so happens that when me and this idiot went outside I decided to record everything, because well I just don't quite trust him yet. And it just so happened to record everything that happened from start to finish."

She handed me her phone the video already pulled up. She pressed the play button for me and the video started rolling, the sound loud enough for everyone to hear. When it got to the part where Derick tried to hit Marie, just like she said he did, I stopped the video.

"I… I can't watch this" I said, my trembling as my eyes filled with tears. "W-why… How could you do that Derick! Why did you try to hit her… I just don't understand…" My voice trailed off.

Had he been lying to me the whole time. Did he lie about changing as a person, and was just pretending to be someone else, because this was the boy that I used to know in middle school. He was just the same bully that he used to be the whole time, how did I notice it. It was all just a fucking lie, I bet that he doesn't even love me the way that he made me fall for him. It was like someone flipped a switch inside my head, and now I was pissed.

"Lily I…" Derick said, but I cut him off, holding up a hand to silence him.

"Just stop, I don't want to hear your bullshit excuses. Did you ever even love me, or was I just some toy that you could play around with. And I don't want some shitty lie, I want the truth."

"The honest truth, well I can't give you that. But no, I've never actually loved you, but before he showed up I did somewhat enjoy being around you. I mostly liked being able to manipulate someone though."

"Why did you hurt me… and why is it that I can't seem to be able to bring myself to hate you." I said tears filling my eyes again.

"I wasn't trying to hurt you, I was just being selfish, that's just how I am. But I will never love you the way that you thought I did. I lied to manipulate you, and yes I'm still the same person that you knew in middle school. Life is like a game of chess and I like bending and manipulating my pieces to my will. It just so happened that in this game you were chosen as the queen, my favorite piece to play. But it seems that I've lost you and this game is now over."

"So then I was nothing but a pawn to you, a stupid piece on a freaking chess board… Get out! Get out of my sight and don't you ever come back! … We're over, there is no more… us."

I had a new found strength, and with it I stood up and started walking back towards the hospital. The others started to follow me, and the crowd parted to let me through.

Just as I reached the entrance I heard his say "The game is only over until I push the restart button, and I intend on pushing it."

"Lily you really should sit down and rest."

"No, I plan on walking there myself" I said, continuing to walk to my hospital room.

"But you aren't fully recovered yet, you should still be resting."

"I want to start relying on only myself again, because clearly I can't trust everyone to have my well being in mind. So I'm starting here and now by walking myself to my room."

"You can do that after your body has had a chance to recuperate. Don't forget that you still have a concussion and you shouldn't be using your brain a lot while it heals."

"I don't care, I have to use my head because right now I need to reevaluate my life." I said, slamming the door shut behind me.

She was right though, my head was throbbing from the pain, and my legs could only stagger towards the bed. I sat down, so unsure of everything. And it didn't help that something inside of me was screaming that I didn't hate Derick, that I could never be mad at him.

The emotions were all so overwhelming. They all seemed to be dancing around me in some strange black fog, enveloping me into their delusions. And then someone opened the door, and they vanished.

"I know that you're upset right now, but can we talk." Joseph said, closing the door.

"Upset! What I'm feeling is more than just upset! The man that I loved for years just told me that everything about our relationship was a lie, it was all fake! So no, I'm not upset, I'm hurt more than you can imagine!"

"I understand that you're hurting, but everyone goes through this sort of pain at least once in their life, it's unavoidable. I hurt like that too when I lost my mother."

"And what, you think that I didn't hurt when I lost my mother! Don't tell me that you understand when you don't! You know nothing about me!"

"Lily I…" He said, reaching a hand towards me, but I slapped it away.

"You were right, I should've been more careful about who I trusted. I need some time to reevaluate my life, and right now I don't really trust you. So please… just go."

"If that's what you want, then I'll leave. I apologize if I hurt you in any way, that wasn't my intention."

I watched him walk out the door, and then look back at me one last time before closing it behind him. And for some reason a single tear rolled down my cheek, and a small voice whispered "Please don't go."

I curled into a ball on the bed, and tried to fall asleep. Hoping that when I woke up it all would have been just a dream.