The guilt living inside him

"I had to go."

"Tasia! Where are you going?"

"I had to follow him, Dad."

Anatasia was already at the airport, her eyes roamed around the place, but he couldn't see him anymore.

"Where are you?" she kept asking while her eyes continued to look around. Ana continued to walk and look for him.

After an hour of looking for him, she quit. She stopped walking and let out a deep sigh, "I guess he has left," she uttered with disappointment. Ana was staring down at her feet while tears started to flow from her eyes. She knew she would regret not seeing him for the last time. She clenched her fists while thinking about what she had done to him.

While she was walking out of the airport, a sigh of disbelief came out of her mouth. "Why... Why did he have to leave me like that? Why now? Why... now that I have already developed feelings for him? Why..." A great tremor overtook her. A great sob escaped her, and she covered her face with shaking hands. She thought that everyone she loved always left her.

Her mom left her to her dad, and Ana didn't know where she was right now. She had loved her mom and admired her. She was the best mom for her, but... one day, she suddenly disappeared and never returned. She was already inside her car as she parked it in a quiet and peaceful park near a riverside.

She got out of the car and walked towards a huge old tree near the river. She then sat down and let out a deep breath, she raised her head and looked at the clear blue sky. A tear tickled her cheek, her chin trembled as she cried. She swiped at her eyes but the tears came all the way.

She was thinking about her mom again. She sniffled while thinking about her. "Mom... Why... Why do I always get hurt by all the people I valued and loved a lot?" she asked as she sniffled between her words. Streams of tears flowed faster than her heartbeat. Ana was in pain. She was suffering.

Meanwhile, Noah had been so attentive towards his wife, Abigail. She's pregnant. Abigail still didn't remember any memories of him. She was disappointed at herself from feeling guilt inside her. She was looking at her husband, Noah, while he was cooking dinner for them.

When Noah looked at her, he frowned when he found out that she had been staring at him for a while. "What is it? Are you hungry?" he asked, but she shook her head and walked closer to him. He was still looking at her, when suddenly she opened her arms wide and hugged him, tightly. His eyes widened when Abigail did that.

"I'm sorry," she uttered while hugging him.

"What? Why are you saying sorry?" he asked her.

"I'm sorry for not remembering you, Noah. I am sorry. I feel so sorry," she answered. He rubbed her hair, "Don't worry. It's okay. I am okay," he uttered while caressing her hair, but Abigail didn't want him to get hurt. She didn't want him to feel that he was unimportant to her.

She then faced her, "Noah?"

"Yes?"

"You're important to me, remember that," she said to him, and a smile was slowly forming on his lips while looking at her. Noah nodded his head with a smile, "I know."

"You too. You're so important to me. You... are my life," he uttered. Abigail smiled at him. She feels so happy with Noah, and she couldn't think of anything, but she just wished that her memories would be back. They hugged each other and Abigail closed her eyes, letting her worries out of her mind. She wanted to enjoy and be happy with Noah. She wanted to be with him as long as she could.

After dinner, Abigail was already in bed when Noah went inside and looked at her. He was smiling while staring at her. Abigail was sleeping already while the blanket was covering her. He then lay on the bed beside her. He wrapped his hands around her belly, caressing it. A smile formed on Abi's lips while Noah was doing that. He continued doing that until they both fell asleep.

The following morning, Abigail woke up and noticed that Noah wasn't there in their bed. She looked around and got up. She then went downstairs and saw him, busy cooking in the kitchen. Abi sighed in disbelief. She was the one doing that house work as she was his wife, but she was just letting him do everything inside the house.

"Noah?" he turned his back and smiled at her, "Good morning," he greeted her.

"Morning. I should be the one doing that. Why didn't you wake me up?" she asked him.

"It's okay. You can rest as much as you can-"

"I am your wife, and... That's a wife's duty. Let me do that at least," she said, and Noah then nodded his head.

"Alright. Here," he then handed the ladle to her and Abi started to cook. He was smiling as he hugged his wife from behind. "I love you," he uttered. Abi could feel the heat in her cheeks while he was hugging her. "I love you too," she could feel the awkwardness, as she wasn't used to saying that word.

After she cooked, she then prepared all the dishes on the dining table while Noah was just staring at him. He regretted it the most. What he could have done when he had the chance to show her that he loved his wife, Abigail. How much he loved her. While looking at her, a solemn tear fell down his cheek; his body looked calm compared to how tangled his mind was.

Abigail was smiling while serving the food to him, but when the moment she looked at him, she stopped, seeing the tears in his eyes. "Noah? Are you okay?" she asked him, worriedly. He nodded his head, but tears continued to drip from his eyes. She was looking at him with worriness in her eyes. "Noah? Are you okay?" she asked him again, but tears spilled over the sides of his eyes.

Abigail then wrapped her hands around him. "Why? Why are you crying?" she asked him, but he continued to tear up. It was the first time Noah had cried like that in front of her. He wanted them to go back to what they used to be. He wanted Abigail to remember him so badly. Even though he wasn't that good to her, he wanted her to remember how much she loved him.

"Noah?" he then looked at her. "I'm sorry," he wrapped his hands around her waist while his face was facing her chest. Abigail started to caress his back and patted it.

After a few more minutes, he became calm. Abigail was smiling while looking at him. "Why? Why did you cry all of a sudden?" she asked him. He took a deep breath and plastered a tight smile, "I was sorry. I felt so guilty..." she frowned when he said that.

"Why?"

"I think you can't remember me... it's because I was so horrible to you. I think you-" his sentence was cut off when she suddenly leaned in closer and kissed him. Her lips met his. Noah slowly closed his eyes and so did Abigail. Her heart began to pound. She stood there, feeling a desire run from her heart, to her chest, and down toward her inner thighs.

They both let their desire overcome them. His finger touched her neck, and the hair as it was moved away nearly gave her the chills. His hands went from the sides of her head and down to her neck, out to her shoulders and down to her hands. He grabbed her hands gently yet firm, put them in front of her and paused. Abigail felt safe, he spoke no words. Her heart was about to beat out of her chest and she closed her eyes and took a deep breath out.

He kisses her shoulder, and runs his lips on her skin towards her ear, but doesn't quite make it that far. Abi tilted her head and, after his deep breath, he bit her gently. It doesn't hurt, it only makes her want more. He turns her around, and they face each other. He stares into her eyes and smiles. His two hands grab her left hand and he places her open palm on his heart, and he holds it there.

His eyes exude love, protection, security, safety, patience, and respect. She smiles and he lets go of her hands. With one hand, he runs his fingers through her hair and gently guides her face closer to his, eventually leaning her in to rest her head on his chest. His other arm wraps around her. Abigail hopes he never lets go. Abigail hoped that he would stop feeling sorry and guilty about what had happened to her.

"I want you so badly, Abi."

To be continued...