Resolve

Leus wasn't comfortable

'I have to do it, but I don't want to'

He had no idea if that feeling was because of fear or because there was an actual danger.

The feeling he got was intense, just like the feeling someone would get if he was about to put his hand on fire, or if he was about to jump into the ocean without any protection despite not being able to swim.

Leus tried to think and understand what his instincts were trying to say

'What kind of danger is there?'

If someone was about to put his hand on flames then he'd know that he would burn.

If someone was about to jump into the ocean then he'd know that he would drown.

That's what Leus wanted to understand, his instincts were very clearly relaying a message, it's just that he didn't fully understand it.

So he kept on thinking about willing the mana to enter his hand, and then he tried acting like he would do it but stopped at the last second.

'Just trying to trick my mind so I can get a clearer feeling of danger'

Leus guessed that if he got a clearer and more vivid feeling of the threat, he'd be able to understand it

'And after understanding it, I will evaluate if I should do it or not'

After a while of trying to trick his mind, Leus almost already put the Mana in his palm, that's when he clearly felt it

'I'll lose my hand'

He didn't know how or why, but he understood the message

'If I do this, I'll lose my hand'

To an extent, Leus was worried, but he wasn't that confident in the feeling

'I'm not sure if it's accurate...'

'Will I really lose my hand?'

'Even if it happens, after all the talk with Arno about Life Force and regeneration, I know for sure that even if I lose my hand it won't be permanent'

But still, Leus didn't want to lose his hand, he was too afraid to take the risk.

'I do not have that fast regeneration Physical Abstract'

Also

'I'm scared of the pain'

Leus was in a dilemma, he knew that he couldn't progress further without making the Ice Mana go in and out of his palm, at the same time, he didn't want the mana to go inside his palm at all, he knew that even if it didn't make him lose his hand, it'd cause immense pain.

Leus sighed

'Is this what people feel when they face a bottleneck?'

Although it wasn't a bottleneck, it was something similar, just being stuck at a specific spot without being able to advance forward

'At least I have the option to force myself and advance, all I have to do is steel my mind and strengthen my willpower...'

'Others don't have that option ...'

For a second, Leus was able to understand how Arno feels

'That's why his voice is always bitter when he talks about not being able to progress further, it's really frustrating'

After that thought came to Leus' mind, he felt afraid

'Could I ever be in such a situation, where I'm unable to move forward?'

If Arno, the second strongest person Leus has seen in his life after Sal was in this position, what makes Leus any different?

'... What makes me different is the secret Sal told me; The fact that children don't face bottlenecks.

Since the age of my body is still young, then I won't face bottlenecks ...'

' ... For now.'

Leus blinked, and the next moment he opened his eyes, the gleam in them changed

His expression became solemn and his mindset changed

'This body won't remain young forever, almost 6 years have passed and I haven't even reached Elite yet ...

How many years do I have left? It could very likely be that the time that's spent is already more than the time that's left ...'

'I'm much more lucky than many others, I'm able to become stronger, I'm able to be more powerful than many others!'

Leus looked at his palms

'It's all in my hands, quite literally'

'It's up to me!'

'It's up to my willpower'

'Do I really want to become stronger?'

'OF COURSE'

Leus looked at himself and evaluated his state

'Pathetic'

'Hiding under a rug to avoid the pain ... '

'Afraid to progress further because there's a possibility that there's a small sacrifice'

'Unable to resolve myself and be decisive about what I want'

Leus disliked his hesitation and indecisiveness

'I want to become powerful, but I'm not ready to pay the price'

'I haven't suffered for anything since I was born in this world'

'First Sal, then Dad, and now Arno'

'Sure, I had to train, but so what? I didn't really suffer, I'm just following what others told me.'

'And now, when there is a small price to be paid, I'm cowering and pulling back'

Leus' eyes became even colder

'If there's pain, then so what?'

'If pain is the price that I have to pay to become stronger, then it really isn't that high of a cost, right?'

A smirk appeared on his face

'Power has granted me so much until now'

'It's time to pay back'

Leus flung the coat away and got up.

As soon as he did that, his entire body was assailed by the Ice Mana, causing scratches, grazes, and wounds all over it.

But Leus didn't care, the pain was no longer a concern.

'It's just a price.'

Leus raised his left hand in front of his eyes and stared at it.

Injuries were slowly accumulating all over his body because of the whirling ice, but his mind was somewhere else

'If the only way to become stronger is to momentarily bear the pain, then so be it.'

Leus took a long, deep, and cold breath

'I'm no longer hesitant'

'I'm no longer afraid'

'I'm ready'

'I'm resolved.'

He bit on his lips, then willed the mana to enter his palm.