THE FIFTH DAY: Chapter XVI

I shot awake with a start, my very first instinct to slap a hand over my mouth to stop the scream. The terror of my nightmare coursed through me, filling me with adrenaline to the point of shivering. I slid quickly back to the ground, curling into a fetal position and pulling the blanket tightly around myself, silently begging for the tremors to stop. With a single, shaking hand, I reached out and searched blindly until I found what I was looking for.

My brother's warm shoulders rose and fell with every resting breath he took, reassuring me that he was not, in fact, covered in blisters and drawing his final breath. I inhaled and sat up, releasing the breath as I glanced around at the sky that was only just growing light. It was four, I guessed, possibly closer to five o'clock in the morning.

I finally released my grip on my blanket and carefully climbed to my feet, running a hand through my sleep-tangled hair and looking around at the camp. Calix was asleep little more than a foot away from me, his left thumb between his partially-parted lips and his right hand curled around his teddy bear. Echo, too, was sleeping soundly, curled into Madeline, who had fallen asleep on guard.

Suddenly aware of my uncomfortably dry throat, I carefully picked my way over to the horses and knelt down beside one of the packs to pull out the canteen of water, kept cold by the frigid winter air. I took a deep drink, paused, and then took a second. I capped it again and sat back on my heels, placing the canteen down beside me as I looked around once more, the air thick with morning fog and secrets. The letter Madeline had received the day before caught my eye, half sticking out of the pack.

Glancing around once more, I picked the slip of paper up and unfolded it. I forced my eyes to read the first line.

To: M4D3!

From: 5C∅U7

I am safe from TM along with the others. Mustn't kill our own people, I suppose. I will try to send you some of my own solution, but I warn you: it is untested. I believe it will work for 10+, and I'm not even sure of that. Please only use it if there is an emergency. I would ask you to take care of all of them, but I have no doubt that you already are. Say nothing to her.

Stay safe.

I miss you all.

My love always,

Five

"That... is... mine."

The letter was gone from my hand before I could even comprehend what had happened. I scowled into the irritated face of Madeline and stood quickly as she folded the paper and thrust it into her pocket.

"Leave me alone!" I told her harshly, my voice sharp. I whipped around to storm away, but Madeline caught my arm in one hand, the other gently covering my mouth like a mother keeping her child quiet at church.

"You're going to wake the others." she uttered swiftly. Her eyes were soft, begging me to cooperate.

I wasn't in the mood.

I bit down on her hand and she gasped in pain. I saw her eyes watering slightly and had just started to wonder if I'd gone too far when she yanked her hand away and slapped me in the face hard.

My ears were ringing and my vision blurred at the impact. That had hurt. I stilled and she released my arm, the anger leaving her face almost instantly.

"That's better," Madeline said carefully. "Now, why were you reading my private letter?"

"Who's Five?" I challenged in return.

"Letter, Nova."

"He seemed awfully friendly to you. Office romance?"

"Your excuse, Nova?"

Madeline was looking dangerous again. I threw out a hand in disbelief.

"Why won't you just tell me what's going on?"

My voice was half of a shout and half of a sob. I just wanted answers. I just wanted to understand. I just wanted to protect my brother!

Madeline rubbed her forehead tiredly and she paced a circle. Finally, she turned to face me again and inhaled deeply. She met my eyes carefully and then looked away, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"I'd request an answer for the fourth time, but I sense that what you just said right there is the closest thing to a reason I'm going to get, isn't it?"

I didn't respond. Apparently, that gave her the answer she was looking for.

A hand on the back of my shoulder, she directed me toward a rock a safe distance apart from our sleeping companions and pushed me down onto it. She sat down across from me.

"You absolutely do not know Echo as well as you think you do," Madeline told me, point-blank. "I don't mean to be rude... but she doesn't trust you.

"Yeah. She's smart," I admitted. Madeline flashed me a quizzical look.

"She's of the stupid opinion that trusting anyone is weak."

I squinted at her and she rolled her eyes.

"Gosh, Nova. What is wrong with your generation?"

That was rich coming from a girl who could be only a few years older than myself.

"But Echo-" I started, but Madeline stopped me.

"Echo is very loyal to the Union, but she needs to know when a friend is there. She's always the last person to trust, and the first to start swinging. "I don't know if you've realized it, but I don't intend to kill you or your brother. My captain wants to meet you... formally. You saw in the letter: I'm supposed to protect you."

"Echo trusts you," I pointed out. Madeline snickered.

"I gave her an ultimatum: if she didn't tell anyone about Five and who and what he was, I wouldn't tell her father that she climbed out her window every night." Madeline's smile disappeared. "She told someone. On accident. She was nine. That had to be..." she ran a hand down her face, "remedied. Covered up. I still didn't tell her father, thereby allowing her to continue her nighttime activities. I knew I had made the right call when I woke one morning to her sleeping beside me."

For a moment, there was etched in my mind the picture of Echo curled into Madeline: fast asleep. Her blond hair blended with Madeline's dark curls as they breathed every breath in unison.

I wanted that.

I wanted someone who loved me with that parental affection I'd never had. And now I was thrust into the position of a mother... and I'd never had one of my own.

"Trusting isn't weak," Madeline said softly, drawing my attention back to her. "It's strong, Nova, and actually easier than you'd think. You are simply assuring yourself that a person cares for something, anything, more than themselves. The way you know you can trust someone is that you agree with what that person cares for."

I stared at her, my eyes narrowing as I asked: "What do you care for?"

Madeline flinched slightly, first looking away and then placing her head in her hands. I'd clearly hit something painful, for the expression was back in her eyes of a child older in soul than in age. She finally lifted her face again and directed her vision over my head at the rising sun.

"I cared about my family," she said thickly. "My mother. My uncle. My brother. But they're all gone now." She removed the letter once more from her pocket and unfolded it, tracing the words at the bottom of the page that held love and a signature. "I care for Five, and what he's trying to do." The letter was returned to her pocket as she returned her attention solely to me. "I care for Echo. I care for ending this epidemic. I care for you. And your brother."

She turned to walk away, her eyes faraway. I reached out to grasp her shoulder before she could go far.

"I do too." I told her. I released her shoulder and moved to return to my brother, only glancing back a moment later to see her face gentled by a slight smile.