Chapter 2

I shoot up in bed, breath coming in ragged, frenzied gasps. 

"Just a dream. Jesus." 

I take in my surroundings, eyeing the empty spot in the bed. Right, hotel. I sink back into the mountain of pillows, taking several deep breaths. Confronting a traumatic past is unsettling. Surprise, surprise. Fishing out my phone, I send a text to Emmett, tacking a sad emoji on the end. 'I miss you. I had a bad dream. I want snuggles :(' 

Not even a minute later a buzz announces his response. 

'Babe are you ok? I miss you too.' 

'This reunion is dredging up all sorts of junk >_<' 

'I keep telling you, you don't have to go!' 

'Don't tempt me lol' 

'Seriously, it's ok to bail. We are always here for you. I love you, cutie!' 

'Seriously, I need to do this. For me. I need closure.' I text back. 

'I still think your therapist is on crack for having you do this. As if you don't deal with enough already.' I'm so tired of having this argument with him. 

'I just want to put this behind me. How am I supposed to keep making progress if I don't deal with this? We've been over this, drop it.' 

'Just keep me updated ok? Try to relax. My meeting should be done around 2, so I should make my flight at 3. Love you darlin <3' 

'love you too.' 

Groaning, I check my email, thumb hovering over the one that brought me here. Opening it, I reread the invitation, dark blue letters announcing 'Williams High School Class of 2009's 10 Year Reunion!' A little animated panther was roaring in the corner. I couldn't help my eye roll. 

"Go panthers!" I say sarcastically under my breath, "Be aggressive! Passive. Aggressive!" 

Deciding that I may as well get out of bed, I roll out of my blanket cocoon, flailing as I try to get my legs untangled. I pop my meds and quickly brush my hair, mushing it into what could roughly be called a dutch braid, and throw on a tank top and jeans.

"Phone, wallet, keys: check. Chapstick- wait. Where the hell is my chapstick!?" Patting my pockets and coming up empty, I start flinging pillows out of my way, going on my knees, cheek pressed to the carpet, and look under the bed. Shouting triumphantly, I fish it out from the depths of "underbed" territory. 

I grab Emmett's varsity jacket, worn sneakers completing my ensemble; no one is taking my beat up Converse from me until they literally disintegrate off my feet. Fuck heels. These babies have been with me through it all, the good times; when Clementine was born, my wedding, my transition, and meeting Emmett. All the bad times too; especially during highschool. Like getting my ass handed to me by Josh Lewis and his lackey Brad Smith. I remember having to wash the blood stains out of the shoes where it had soaked into the fabric. I never did manage to get it all out. These shoes carried me away as I flew down back roads, crouched behind dumpsters, climbed up trees and out windows, anything to get away. The sound of my shoes across the sidewalk as I'm heading to my rental car is haunting. Thup, thup, thup, thup…. 

"Hey fag!" 

The familiar crunch of an egg hitting me in the back accompanied the slimey cold yoke soaking through my shirt. Ew. I kept my head down and walked faster along the sidewalk, toes scrunched anxiously in my black Converse. I never should have split from Marie, but she had detention. She always knew how to deal with these situations. She wasn't scared of anything. Josh's sneakers slapped the pavement as he closed in, Brad pounding behind him. 

"Charles! I'm talking to you, you fucking queer!" Josh slammed into me, propelling me into the ground, my chin scraping along the path. 

"Don't call me Charles," I spit out, ignoring the sting of dirt in my cut. 

"You saying I'm wrong? That a fag like you knows more than me?" My breath wooshed out of me as his foot connected with my ribs. "Your name is Charles!" 

"Stop it-" Another kick landed, this time from Brad. I heard heels clacking, and saw Meredith Kinny and Tish Matthews coming up, pulling their phones out and laughing. "You think you're a girl? You wanna be a girl? How about now?!" Josh pulled his foot back, only to bring it back down full force between my legs, ripping a scream from my throat.