Chapter 31 : Time To Open Your Heart

"Type! Type! Where did this boy go now?"

"Here it is, Mom."

"Where?"

"This, above, up here."

At noon, Type was so hot that he was sweating all over, but his hands were still busy. Hearing the sound of his mother looking for herself all over the inn, Type hurriedly lowered his head to look for his mother, and at a glance saw the middle-aged woman who was looking for him without any worry - his own mother.

I'm sure. How can she find him when he's not on the ground?

"What are you boy doing on the roof?"

Yes, at the moment Type was on the roof of a house with repair tools in hand.

"The roof is broken in some places, and father told me to climb up and fix it first with the boards, cover it up, and then he will come and do it himself when he's free later."

"Let him fix it later, you'll be the one who hurts if you falls off." Old Mother exclaimed full of worry, and Type shook his head after hearing it.

"No way, Mom, if it rains again tonight, the guests will definitely have to complain, and our rooms are full of guests again, but there is no room for guests to change." Type said, feeling that it was better to fix the roof first rather than just ignore it, and Type's mother sighed.

"Mom, what can I do for you?" Type asked while wiping the sweat from the back of his hand, his eyes going to his own gray, freshly clipped dog, who was barking loudly and twirling around his own mother.

"What's the matter with Longan it keeps barking on and on."

That's right, this is the same dog he'd said was dead in order to garner Puifai's sympathies, so be nice to him back home this time.

"It's not your boy's business yet, as soon as I saw you boy crawling around on the roof like a monkey, I forgot all about business, you boy best get down, your friend came to see you."

"Who is it?" Type immediately frowned upon hearing this, for he was sure that he hadn't let anyone know about his return, from where did this person know he had returned.

"Me."

I'm what I am.

Type was about to curse back, he raised his head slightly and saw the shadow of the man under the eaves, the dragon eyes were shouting incessantly at the man, who had to move out again and beckoned towards Type.

"Hey, Ai'Kom!"

"Haha, it's me." As soon as he saw the man's face, Type immediately recognized it as his childhood best friend.

Kom, a good friend from primary school to the present, also has a family in the area, they grew up playing and studying together, and the later transferred to Bangkok to study, he also transferred to Surat Thani before they were separated.

But - - ...

"Ai'Kom you look a little weird."

"I've become handsome."

Type simply want to paste his face, but also have to admit that his friend is indeed more handsome than a child, before the boy was black and sneaky on, laughing also on that white teeth can see, but now he is more white, and dresses quite handsome, the dried up arm from before now looks full of muscle.

"Don't make me say it, and save your boy from having to cry with grief later." Type nonetheless teased with a smile as he climbed down the ladder and examined Kom from head to toe.

"You boy has the look of a Bangkok boy now too."

"Where did you see that?" Type looked at the black tank top and knee-length shorts he was wearing, how could he look like a worker?

"So the roof is broken?"

"Well, but I don't know exactly how many places it's broken." Type pointed to the roof and Kom nodded, "Yeah right, there was a typhoon last night ... I'll go up and check it out later." Kom said, and Type listened and rose his eyebrows.

"Don't underestimate me." Kom said as he nimbly climbed up.

"Then you guys keep talking, Nong Kom you are staying for dinner tonight." Type's mom turned to Kom while giving her own beloved dog a hug.

"Thanks auntie."

Type's mother had already gone back to the house, and Type had also climbed up to the roof, looking at his own little hairy boy who was carefully checking the roof, listening to him talk about his current life, and from time to time talking about his own, and finally inevitably talking about it.

"I have a person, I met them last year." Kom said, and Type, the man who was handing him the tools, stared at him nosily.

"Awesome man."

"Haha, how about you kid, you kid like that should be very good at eating, used to be a short guy, now you are taller than even old me." Kom smiled and also did not forget to ask Type, but let Type this meats and potatoes head froze for a while, involuntarily remembered that person who stayed in Bangkok.

How would Kom react if he knew he wasn't in a relationship with a girl, but with a gay instead?

"Just talking about the kind of chatting friends." But Type was just as vague in that remark, though he knew well enough to know that it wasn't just a chat friend - they were doing much more than that. But Type, who hates gays in his heart, decided in his heart that he would never tell anyone at home about this.

Thinking about the future for two of them, Type's face became more serious.

He certainly wouldn't tell anyone that he was in a relationship with a man, this is something that must rot in his heart for life.

Type thought of it like that, but a relentless pain welled up in his heart.

Am I going to hurt Ai'Tharn again?

Type silently turned his head to the side, avoiding Kom's eyes, Kom was also someone who knew what he had been through in the past and how much he hated gays, in this case, to get Type to confess that everything had changed, Type admitted that he could not do it.

And that turn of the head also led Type to discover something.

"Ha, what are you looking at?!"

"Huh? Who?" Hearing Type's words, Kom, who was repairing the roof, looked up as well, and Type turned his head away from looking that way.

"No, it's not just that geek who's been staring at me strangely since yesterday." Type said stiflingly, his eyes were directed towards the foreigner sitting in front of the B&B in a pair of shorts, hair blowing with the sea breeze, but his eyes were not aimed on the beautiful sea view, but on the roof where they were.

Once their eyes met for a moment, the man waved at the two of them.

"Huh." Type scoffed dryly, because no matter what, he was a guest of the B&B, but Kom was in a good mood and waved to the other party, then turned back to Type and said.

"You man is catching the eye of men as always."

"Kom you Ai'Hiaa has an itchy skin right, want to be kicked under the roof by me right, don't talk about that thing here." Type was talking and gesturing as if he was going to kick Kom with his foot, but Kom didn't care, and was still laughing loudly, making Type feel even angrier.

Just as he said, Type this boy in his past life, he does not know what kind of sin he had done, since childhood there is always such a man trying to follow behind him, also he does not know what is going on, hey, even Kom such a neighbor has seen it several times, Kom also knows that Type actually very much dislike gays.

"Well, it's better to be liked than hated - at least it's a guest, just relax your mind, you seem to have a taste for these foreigners." Kom the boy not only said, but also scanned Type up and down several times.

"Let's hope these people die out sooner rather than later!" Type gritted his teeth, and was even angrier at the thought of the foreigner below.

I can't really get away from these bastards?

The more he thought about it, the more Type felt in his heart, and Kom knew clearly that he shouldn't continue with this topic and brought up another thing.

"Uh, forget it, so are you boy going to the party tonight?"

"What party again?" asked Type irritably, trying hard to suppress the thought of punching the geek in the back of his mind as Kom turned his head to look at him with disbelief, then asked slightly mischievously.

"Hey, you're still from this side of the family ... full moon party."

"Oh, so soon, huh?"

Type froze for a moment, thinking of the world-renowned party under the full moon.

Full Moon Party ... Anyone who wants to come to the party to feel it, but for Type, who has been in contact with people since he was a child, he just took a heavy breath.

Although it is indeed a lively all-night party, but in the midst of the laughter, there is also a lot of hidden darkness, sxx, drugs, those with a little bit of shame will still go to the room, and those who are impatient - - it can be said that almost under every tree under the people there to have fun together.

As a kid, Type used to think this party was fun too.

"Going or not?" Kom asked again.

"Eh, what time are you boys going?"

Despite the bad side of the party, on the other hand it was also really fun, and Type was keen to go and relax himself, at least with a lot of beautiful women, better than being stared at here by a bunch of stinky gay men as bait.

At 8 p.m. on the night of the full moon, Type rode his homeboy's motorcycle to the beach where the full moon party was held.

"Ai'Type, park your bike here."

After a short drive, Type turned into an alley not far from the beach, and Kom was waiting for him, chatting with his aunt who was selling food by the alley.

"Hey Ai'Type, long time no see."

"Hello, Auntie. How's business?"

"It's always sold out before midnight." Type turned to greet his aunt, and Kom's aunt jokingly replied, and Type couldn't help but laugh out loud as he pulled up near the stall where the aunt was selling something, and Kom followed closely to get glow stick paint for himself.

"Want it?"

Type took it by the hand, because although he himself wasn't one to scribble all over his body, he wanted a coat to make himself more visible in the dark. At this moment Type was also starting to get excited, especially at the sight of western beauties in bikinis with their chests unabashedly coated in fluorescent paint walking past them.

Poof.

"Uh-huh, of course you do." As soon as Type's painting was finished, Kom started to tease about Type's impatience.

This guy wrote three letters, and he wrote all the verbal words that boys often hang around about certain organs.

"Auntie, then please look after my bike"

"Hmmmmm, I will look after it." After the two were ready, Kom turned his head and asked his aunt to help look at the bike, and after saying that, the two headed towards the path that only the locals knew about and straight towards the beach where the party was held.

Bam! Thump!

Before they even reached the stage, the deafening music poured straight into their ears, and Type and Kom got thoroughly high as Type squeezed towards the crowd, dancing wildly with the people around them.

"It's not bad to be here once in a while."

Type said loudly towards Kom, who was having fun with a group of foreigners, and Kom laughed loudly as he listened.

"You boy wouldn't think so if you came back often, but you only come back once or twice a year." Kom also blurted back at him, and Type laughed, because like Kom said, he really didn't go home as much, there were so many things to do during his senior year to get into college, and then there was the time to hang out with someone all day again after college.

Ai'Tharn would love a party like this!

Type couldn't help but think as his eyes glanced around and some indescribable thoughts sprang up in his mind. He found himself now probably able to tell which was gay and which wasn't, and Type had been able to tell a few of the people in the party so many times, but he no longer felt as anti-climactic about not being able to stay together as he had before.

As long as those people don't bother him, he won't get himself into trouble.

As for why Tharn would like - - Type is sure that he will attract a lot of attention, besides, the ambiguous music that blows up all over the beach will also get Tharn excited to follow.

Next time he come home will either invite him along - or forget it.

The moment his eyes could almost see Tharn, Type immediately shook his head in denial, because if Tharn had come over, the people around him would have probably seen something between from the how the two get along.

Better to let the matter remain a secret.

"Ai'Kom, I'll go get some beer!" Just feeling tired, Type started looking for something outside to keep himself excited, and Kom nodded, pointing to the other side of the beach to indicate that Type could buy beer there.

"If you want to buy it, go over there, it must be crowded."

"You talk as if I'm not from here." Type said jokingly, walking towards the other side, as the things in front of the stage were definitely too expensive for people to afford, and with a sweaty face, Type continued towards the other corner of the beach.

"Hi."

However, Type hadn't gone far when a greeting sound suddenly came from the side, so Type had to turn around to look, and when he saw the owner of the sound, Type couldn't help but blacken his face.

The farang.

"I'm Alan, who lives in your B&B."

Who wants to know your name?

Type thought with displeasure as he looked towards the foreigner who was holding two drinks in his hand, but his eyes were not so honestly flicking over his body, and he wanted to smack him hard.

"Hmm."

Type replied with the briefest of words, and of course it would have been better to make the other person think he didn't know how to speak English.

In fact, Type was anxious to leave directly, but considering that this was this old man's guest, he smiled dryly at the other side, thinking that the other side should be able to understand that he did not want to talk to him, but it seemed that the other side did not intend to just leave it at that.

"What's your name?"

"Ai'Type."

Even kindergarteners know how to answer a question like this, and if they don't answer it, they look a little too bad mannered, so Type answered it normally.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

It's in front of me and you think I will even ask?

"No thanks."

At this moment, even though the disgust in his heart for the other side almost made him want to vomit, Type took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. Considering his face, he reached out to receive the beer from his opponent's hand, and the opponent smiled even more deeply, even moving closer towards Type, who couldn't help but back away.

Calm Type, calm.

poof.

Bastard!

However, when the other party put his hands on his neck and looked at him intimately, the person who tried so hard to convince himself to be calm couldn't resist the explosion anymore.

"I've been watching you for a few days now, and I think ...-- you smell good."

Poof.

The moment the other party finished speaking, Type felt his sweat standing up and his desire to vomit grew stronger and stronger.

"You're so hot."

I can't stand it anymore!

"Hey, Type!"

However, just as Type's clenched fist was about to strike at the guy who still didn't know its rude to whisper in his own ear, Kom's grunting snapped his sanity back, and Type removed the other man's hand which was placed on his shoulder, shoved the beer back in his hand, and even grinned at the other man unnaturally.

A smile gave the other person hope until Type opened his mouth.

"Take your shitty beer and go die as far away from me as you can."

Type smiled the whole time, not a hint of annoyance,  just had a friendly smile, but the words in his mouth were very poisonous, several surrounding Thai people could not help but look back, Kom probably saw something wrong, immediately came over and pressed Type's hand, then looked to the opposite.

"Sorry, our friends are waiting for us."

Kom said quickly, and then pulled Type, whose face was red with fury, towards the other side of the beach where no one was, because at the moment Type was still talking about something foul that anyone who heard it could not help but look back.

"I hope all the gays in the world are dead, xsshole! Did you see what he did, why did you not yell at the bastard? If it weren't for your sake, I'm sure he wouldn't be able to let him walk on pavement for the rest of his life with only those dirty thoughts in his head."

Along the way, even to the point where no one was around, Type's mouth was still spouting curses, not noticing that Kom next to him hadn't spoken for a long time.

"Those filthy bastards, I'd rather be in a pigsty with a bunch of sows than be groped by them, fvck, xsshole!" Type rubbed his arm vigorously as he spoke, and the feeling of nausea he felt as a child seemed to reappear, and it made Type more clearly aware of it.

Tharn is the only one who he can accept.

Thinking about it this way, Type was at least a little more calm in his heart, and recalled the words he had cursed at others, and felt a little bit sorry for himself, but it was only for a moment.

I didn't scold Ai'Tharn, Ai'Tharn isn't like these bastards, so I didn't scold my own man!

"Ai'Type, I have something I want to say to you."

"What's the matter again?!" The man who was trying to calm himself down said with a slight huff, and then Type noticed that his friend... looked a little hurt.

"What's wrong with you Ai'Kom?" asked Type.

"I have something I want to confess to you." Kom whispered, and Type had to move closer to listen.

"What's wrong with you kid, are you going to cuss at me or say I'm biased, well, I am biased, but as long as you kid is not that kind of person, I won't cuss at you kid either." Type was so used to people saying he was biased that he thought Kom was coming to teach him he shouldn't be biased against gay like everyone else, but what the other person said froze him.

"I am that kind of person."

[cough]

"What did you say!" Type's voice was harder than it had been, and he looked at the hurt, smiling young man, Kom continued.

"I'm gay."

"!!!!"

Don't ask Type how he feels this time; the word shock sums it all up.

His friend is now confessing to himself that he is a gay, and although he has never been with anyone before, he has never shown his sexual orientation, and Type is now so shocked that he can't say anything.

"I didn't mean to make you unhappy by saying it, I was going to keep it from you for the rest of my life, because I know you're disgusted with gays, but just now you cussed at all of the gays in those words, I couldn't bear it, I ... I can't remember how many times I've heard such words, and I don't know how much longer I'm going to keep listening to you cuss us gay, I couldn't help but want to yell out that I'm also a gay, but I'm not the kind of gay you think I am, why can't you just put down your prejudices and accept us like people?" Kom said dejectedly, and Type couldn't help but think back to what he had just said.

It's no wonder Kom got so worked up when he said the words so hard.

"Ai'Type, I don't expect to get your understanding, I know that if I say this just now, you might not think of me as a friend anymore, but I also just want to be accepted by my good friend ..." Type didn't know what his expression was like at this moment, but Kom was smiling very reluctantly.

"But maybe I'm really greedy ... I'm sorry that I am gay."

"....."

Kom finished speaking and walked towards the tourists, disappearing unseen in no time, while Type remained frozen in place, feeling his chest as empty as if it had suddenly been pierced by a bullet.

I'm sorry I'm a GAY.

That sorry sentence left Type with an unusually heavy feeling in his heart.

Becoming gay - you didn't have a choice, did you? Then why are you apologizing to me?

Type lifted his hand to cover his face, he hadn't had any close friends coming out all this time, and it was wrong to say that he didn't have the kind of good friends around him who liked men, Tharn was the first person to show him what gays were really like, but the hurt brought on by nightmares as a child wasn't so easy to fade away, so Type still had an aversion to gays in his heart, and he kept telling himself that he hated gays, except for Ai'Tharn of course.

Until today, Type knew that the friend he grew up with turned out to be the kind of person he always hated, and he finally couldn't help but ask himself, "Is it really right to cuss at everyone with one shot?

"He didn't do anything wrong and doesn't need to apologize to me."

Kom never showed his sexual orientation in front of himself, he never showed it to make himself uncomfortable, he is still his good friend, the kind of friend who never gets angry even though he doesn't see him a few times a year, this is the kind of good friend who one rarely has his life.

And the disgust for GAY that he was showing himself at this moment was hurting his friend deeply.

"Fvck!"

Finally, Type, who was in a very complicated mood, still cursed, he turned around and went back, but instead of looking for Kom, he went straight towards his father's motorcycle, not even in the mood to answer the question of why is he coming back early with the party still going on from Kom's aunt, Type was in such a hurry to go back, he was no longer in the mood to continue partying, not in the mood to do anything, just wanted to go home and be by himself to sort out his thoughts.

I hurt Kom, didn't I?

Thinking about it that way, Type was in an even worse mood.

Is this guy psychic?

Having just entered the house and not having had a chance to get into his room, someone called as if they knew Type was in a bad mood.

"What are you calling me for?" Despite deliberately suppressing his emotions, Type's words still revealed a wave of impatience, and a laughter came from the phone.

The laughter as if it had a magic effect eased the repression in Type's heart slightly, "Nothing's wrong, just calling to ask how you're doing, you are going to be on vacation for two weeks."

"It's not bad, helping my old man at home, getting scolded by my own mother for misbehaving, and swimming in the sea when I want to." Type replied, and froze for a moment after saying that Type himself was a little bit of a good fortune teller, and the person on the other end of the phone said that he is jealous of his life, and Type did not realize that he had mentioned today's incident.

"I went to the full moon party today."

"Oh, you said your dad owns a B&B over in Pang'an, how about that, is that fun?"

Tharn stopped laughing and even inquired with a serious tone, Type was a bit dumbfounded, having merely mentioned the full moon party himself, why did Tharn just acted as if he had done something really bad. There was a momentary silence between the two, and Tharn asked out loud again.

"Did you ... hang out with the girls?"

Oh, so you're worried that your boyfriend is going to fvck with another woman.

His heart actually kinda wants to say serves you right, make the other party jealous, but Type is not in the mood to do so, he shook his head, a tiredness in his voice, said.

"No ......-but some gay said I was so hot." In the past, Type would always blush when he said this, but this time he was very calm, because his friend's wounded look had already taken over his brain, leaving him with no energy to pay attention to the gay coming over and say hello to himself, but it seems that this answer made the person on the other end of the phone laugh more.

"So how did you do it?"

"Bxstard! What do you think I'm gonna do? I told him to get lost. Why? Do you think now that I don't hang out with women, I'll hang out with those disgusting guys?" As soon as he heard Tharn's question, Type couldn't help but feel a start of a fire, being so questioned by his boyfriend that he thought he would go and hang out with that group of people, making Type feel inexplicably humiliated.

"I'm sorry, I just ... fvck, it's not like you don't have a little self-awareness and doesn't know how much you are sexy."

"You want me to give you a kick as soon as I met you, right?" Type said irritably, he didn't want to hear anything more about grabbing sexy or so, even if it meant grabbing a handful among girls, it would be horrible to think about being popular among a group of gay people.

But while the mood was a little more unpleasant, deep down that repression had almost disappeared, and some of it was just the joy of talking with Tharn.

"Without further ado, I don't want to talk about those geeks anymore, how about you, how are you doing after your vacation?"

In fact, Type wanted to confide in Tharn about what had happened between himself and Ai'Kom, but he couldn't speak about it specifically because it seemed like he had really done something wrong.

The fault lies in beating a bedfellow to death at one stroke ...cussing gays, and cussing his own man for doing the same, as well as, the good friend who he has been hurting for so many years.

Type was literally speechless.

Thinking of it this way, Type could only change the subject, even though he had been the end of the topic in the past and had never taken the initiative to ask about the other party's situation. But this time Type wondered how Tharn was doing.

As for him he never asked, it was because deep down, Type believed that Tharn ... was not in the group of gay people that he cussed ... he would never hang around with other men while he was away, he would never betray him.

This trust was quietly built without Type himself even realizing the situation.

"It's nothing, just going to school and practice my instrument, I've already built my own band, and the practice time is longer than before, sometimes go to Sister Jeed bar to perform, sometimes there are schoolmates asked me to help to tutor for the upcoming high school exam, but I think I'm not capable enough so I refused, then it's just stay home with my sister."

Type almost burst out laughing when he heard the last sentence, and he couldn't help but think about the image of his own man playing with his little sister....

"So when are you coming back?"

"Why?"

Type himself was wondering when it would be better to go back, and at first he was thinking of waiting until school was about to start, but what had just happened made him feel inexplicably depressed.

And the place that made him feel at ease was the place where Type himself probably didn't even realize it - that's where Tharn was.

"I miss you."

[Cough]

However, upon hearing what the person on the other end of the phone said, all thoughts in Type's mind instantly disappeared, leaving only the words spoken by the other person.

Eff off." Type waved back a word.

After saying that, Type smoothly hung up the phone as well, and as soon as he threw the phone onto the bed, he straightened up on the bed and raised his hands to cover his face.

Ai'Tharn the bastard said that!

Type almost scolded the other party, but at the thought that the other party could no longer hear, Type could only talk to himself.

"I've missed you too."

Of course this sentence, Type would rather be killed would not be said it to his own man face.

After just a few minutes of chatting, Type, who was full of depression, then relaxed enough to fall asleep immediately, and the nightmares of the past did not appear, this night, only the one person who told himself that he missed him.

***** ****** *****