Chapter Ten

A cool, fresh breeze swept around my body. I woke up and opened my eyes. I was surprised that I could open my eyes, but I could still feel the pain around the region of my eyes. I rubbed it repeatedly with my hands and then closed it and opened it again. I stared around the area to see if anyone was around, but I couldn't see anyone. It took a while for me to decipher that I was still in the kitchen. I looked at the ground within me and saw blood all around me. I thought of the dead soldier and looked where he was, but I only saw blood. I tried standing on my feet, but I felt such a sharp pain all around my body that I had to croon a little. I stayed on the ground for some minutes to allow the pain to leave me. When I felt a bit relieved, I tried standing up, but this time in a careful way. I successfully got on my feet, then I tried walking. My legs were heavy. It was as if some invincible load was kept on my legs. I staggered at each step I took. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I prayed within me that a soldier shouldn't be around. I looked down on the ground and saw that the amount of blood left on the floor was larger than I thought. I was surprised to see blood all over the place and couldn't avoid stepping on it. The more I stood to examine the blood, the more my legs were vibrating as if I were about to fall to the ground. I walked one step at a time until I came out of the room. I stared around the passage to see if anyone was there. My mother was there, lying motionlessly on the floor with a knife laid beside her near the entrance door. Blood filled the floor around her. I staggered nearer to her as I called her name, but I did not receive any response from her. I looked at her intently to see if there would be any reaction from her, but there wasn't. I tried bending to see what went wrong, but during the process I noticed a sharp pain all over my body, so I stopped.

"Mum," I called.

I waited for a response, but unfortunately there wasn't one from her. I knelt down and stared at her face. Her eyes were half open. There was some dried blood left on her nose and lips. I called her again, but there was still no response from her. I touched her hands, then I noticed that they were stiff. I raised her left hand up, but it fell back like a log of wood. Suddenly my heartbeat increased.

"Mum, Mum," I called out in anxiety, "please answer me."

I shook her violently. There wasn't any response from her.

I began tracing where the blood was coming from. I saw it coming out of her back. I began rolling her body to the back. It was hard. I never had the strength to do it, but I persisted.

God please, my mum must not die. If she dies, who will take care of me? I reflected.

Finally, I rolled her until I saw her back. Her cloth was soaked with blood. I dragged her cloth up to be able to see where the blood was coming from.

"God!!" I exclaimed after seeing a huge hole located near her waist.

Oh my God, so I would be without a mother. My sweet mother. God, I can no longer bear this pain. Who would take care of me? Who would play the role of a mother to me in this life? God, why did you permit all these catastrophes to happen to me? God why?

I took the knife place beside my mum.

I am not worthy to live again. I deserve to die. I can no longer bear all these events revolving around me.

I looked at the edge of the knife with tears rolling down my cheek.

"Mum, I am coming to meet you. Please don't go too far. I said, staring at my mother's face.

Suddenly, I heard a loud missile passing above the roof, and I had to duck and then close my ears with my hands. I heard a brief noise in my apartment, followed by people shouting and crying loudly. I stared outside and saw people running in a helter-skelter way. Some ran into our compound, and then I saw a man who had the boldness to walk nearer to us. I became scared as I saw him coming closer. I staggered to the back of the door, but he kept on staring at me as I went.

Within me, I prayed. I was completely naked. I tried covering my body by folding myself up when I heard the footstep of the man near the entrance door.

"Hello," a voice called out.

I nervously opened my eyes, wondering how he would react to seeing me naked.

The man was tall and also had wavy hair, small pink lips, and a slim body.

"Are you also a victim?" he asked, with a tranquil voice.

I nodded my head, tears flowing from my eyes.

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that." He said, staring at the floor as he nodded and then staring back at me.

"Where are your clothes? So, I can help you."

I used my hands to show him the direction of my room. He followed the gesture of my hand and brought a long green gown for me to put on. I appreciated his caring attitude toward me. However, I was shy about collecting the cloth. I never wanted to expose my full, naked body to him. He understood what I was thinking and looked away so I could put on the gown he had brought.

"Who killed this woman lying here?" he asked, staring at my mum's body.

"Sir, I will give you a reply soon. Let me finish dressing up," I replied.

"Ok."

I tried putting the gown on my body, but each time I raised my hands, I felt pain. Then I changed the tactic by putting on the gown through my legs while lifting my left or right leg. I felt a big wound tearing up, and I had to scream. The man was tempted to turn, but he didn't.

"What's going on?" he asked, his head still facing back.

"Nothing," I responded.

I didn't know what to do, wondering if I should ask for his help and reveal my nakedness, or try to put on the gown myself and endure the struggle. The latter was harder to compare with the former thoughts I had. After several minutes, I began to consider this valuable option. I pleaded with the man that he should show some help in helping me put on my clothes. He turned back and fidgeted a little bit; perhaps he wasn't expecting to see my full naked body as suddenly as he did. Nevertheless, he took the gown and started putting it on me. I observed that he tried not to touch my temples, but he accidentally did it and felt bad. I smiled to cast away the putrid thoughts he might have had when he did it. Finally, he was through with putting the gown on me. I forced a smile at him, and then he embraced me tightly.

Just then I heard the humming of a bus approaching. I felt bad. My heart began racing again. I took to a crouch despite the man's struggles to make me stand. He took a look at the bus after putting his head across the entrance door.

"It is an ambulance," he said, "come and join them."

"No, sir, try helping my mum, not me." I answered.

"Are you sure she isn't dead yet?" He asked, taking a minute to stare at my mum again.

"I know she is, but at least to a place where she would be buried." I said it with tears forming in my eyes.

"My dear, don't cry," he consoled me. "A lot of people have died just because of this war."

"Sir, go and call them; let them carry her away from here." I pestered.

He nodded and then went out to meet the doctors who came out of the ambulance. They were discussing as they moved inside the house. The doctor shook immediately when he saw the passage fill up with blood. He ran in the direction of my mum and then put his thumb on her wrist. Perhaps he wanted to know if her pulse was still vibrating. I knew he was wasting his time since she was dead, and anything else was meaningless except for wishing her soul to rest in peace.

The doctor nodded in an emotional way after removing his hand from her wrist. He then ordered for the stretcher to be brought in. Just then, he took notice of my presence and smiled. I wondered about the reason for his smile.

How would he be smiling at this precarious situation I was currently in? Doesn't he know that it was my mum that was about to be stretchered into the ambulance?

He continued staring at me while I threw my face to the ground. Three men came, and a fair and silky lady came in pushing a stretcher. They were all putting on gloves. The three men went straight to my mum; one of them stared at the ground and sighed while another raised my mum's hand. Finally, the three men carefully lifted my mother and dropped her on the stretcher. Tears rolled out of my eyes immediately after they dropped her on the stretcher. I staggered toward where my mum was lying. I knelt down beside the stretcher and then started weeping profusely. They tried dragging me out, but I was hard to pull out.

"Mama, I know that you've done your part as a mother and you've left me behind. I can see it in you—you never gave up until your last breath. May the Lord grant you everlasting peace and joy. It is now my turn; I would never disappoint you." I called out as I fell to the floor and wept bitterly. I felt a soft hand on my body while I was rolling on the floor.

"Stop doing this; you are rolling yourself on the blood."

"Leave me alone. This is my mum's blood. I want her spirit to visit me. I want to see her. Please let me be," I cried out, still rolling on the floor.

"Please stretcher her into the bus," a thick voice spoke out.

I was about to stand up when I felt a sharp pain that I had to scream out. Then I fell back to the floor.

"Mum, please come back. God, this is unbearable," I screamed out as I opened my eyes and gasped for breath.

Then the man who aided me in putting on my gown beckoned me to follow the ambulance, but I refused. He pleaded that I should follow them so that they could treat me, but I refused.

"Sir, I don't want to see my mother's burial ground."

"Okay, will you decide to stay here, despite the fact that a missile just struck a house nearby?" he asked.

"Leave me… In fact, I want to die, so leave me alone… I am better off here." I said.

"Please, we don't have time here again; we also need to attend to other people who badly need our help," the doctor said.

They all left the house and left me behind.