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Tears of Guilt

Rake Ignicius is the number one hero of the kingdom ‘Ardjestyn’. He is powerful and is also incredibly young, the youngest out of the other ten heroes. Despite the short length of age, he has been living with a pain in his chest, the feeling of loneliness and the need for his father’s attention. In the face of such emotions, a dark path awaits. Receiving an impossible ‘holy mission’ and committing the greatest sin known to mankind. Genocide, to the enemy race that had been battling his kingdom for several centuries. All that was left for him was his physical body, where not a shred of sanity and soul was left. His father’s abandonment, and the guilt rapidly eating his heart. But, the survivor of the very race he greatly took part in slaughtering suddenly appeared. Elicia Velborn, the last surviving ethelen and the crown princess of the Velborn kingdom. As such, Rake found a way. A way to remove the pain from his chest, a way to turn his mind away from the guilt. He protected her, and their journey for vengeance began.

FinnAlfi · Fantasía
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63 Chs

Opening Up (part 1)

Ch. XXIII - Opening Up (Elice)

 

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He finally opened up.

 

I moved my body away from him and sat down on the wall right next to him. The entire house was pretty much wrecked, but it was all for a good cause.

 

We can now finally share. No more secrets, no more confusion.

 

Rake finally told me everything that actually happened. How he was fooled by a knight commander, how he had no idea that a second command actually existed, how he never expected a genocide to happen in the first place.

 

He, who was the rank 1 hero of Ardjestyn, was given a 'Holy Mission' by the king of Ardjestyn. To take down Velborn from the inside.

 

Truthfully, the length of this mission is only to the point where he destroyed Velborn's greatest defensive mechanism, which is the powerful barrier that has been protecting the city for many centuries. All he had to do was take the barrier down, and his mission would've been fulfilled.

 

But he had no idea about a secret play that was happening right behind his holy mission. Right after he completed the mission, a five thousand men army somehow arrived right outside of Velborn through a hidden portal that was connecting the space of Velborn to an area very close to Ardjestyn.

 

The Valley of Calibra, territory of the legendary one eyed dragon.

 

I did hear that the dragon got defeated by a human hero, since it did cause quite a bit of a ruckus in the kingdom. Turns out Rake was the one who defeated it, alongside the other heroes. 

 

Nobody, not even Rake expected that there was a portal in that area.

 

Which means it was very suspicious as to how the kingdom knows that there is a portal right under Calibra's nose. A lot of people suspected that Calibra was actually protecting the portal, to stop anyone from using it to go to Velborn.

 

And after knowing that the portal was used by five thousand men army to commit genocide, it was clear that it was indeed Calibra's intentions to protect the portal and the valley.

 

Calibra was protecting the ethelens…

 

Rake has researched it afterwards. He may have lost his mind for the entire day yesterday, but he still managed to find out certain things that may have been connected to how the ethelens fall so easily.

 

"It was very clear… as clear as day, too. But since it was right under our noses, we never truly care to look that way."

 

He explained how it feels to know the truth was right there, but completely missed out from the attention. 

 

I know what it means, to have your entire kingdom to be problematic from the deepest parts to the surface. Velborn was similar, but it seems like based on what Rake said, it was way worse in Ardjestyn.

 

And finding it out as someone who has been living there their entire life…

 

Finding it out as one of their most important figures…

 

I can tell it was heavy, even for a strong hero like Rake.

 

"I see… The king, the knights, the church… all of them have been working together in the shadows."

 

"Precisely. The entire kingdom has been corrupted to the very core."

 

"But the civilians don't realize it yet… do they?"

Hearing my question, Rake turned silent. It was not an easy answer, since nobody knows exactly what the people know. 

 

Perhaps they know already but kept silent, or they don't know and simply live as if nothing is wrong. Some may have already known, but are secretly moving to deal with this issue. While some others wouldn't want to know, because they just want to live peacefully.

 

Without a doubt, this is a problem that should've been told to the people. Exactly how dangerous their government is, and what things they are capable of.

 

"So the enemy… was Ardjestyn itself to begin with…"

 

I mumbled angrily and sadly. I curled my body up and covered my face with my hands, not minding the blood that was on it. Tears fell even more as I realized who my true enemies are, and how difficult my path is in the future.

 

Then… What about Rake?

 

The guy is absolutely destroyed by guilt. There is no way he doesn't think of himself as my enemy. 

 

But after hearing the whole thing from him, I can't… I just…

 

At the very end, I have to recognize that Rake is not my enemy.

 

He may have taken down the defenses of Velborn, but not with the intention of committing genocide. He was merely trying to fight a war just as one would do, not trying to commit a disastrous sin like that.

 

He was fooled, and the cost of it all was the death of my people. He had to bear that sin for the rest of his life, but it was never his fault to begin with.

 

The people of the capital… the Ardjestyn king… he planned all of this.

 

He was merely using Rake as a weapon to attack his enemies, and also as a shield to protect himself from bearing the sin of genocide.

 

The king's actions… disgusts me. But what truly disgusted me more, is the way Rake is acting.

 

"Rake."

 

Since I was right next to him, I can just lean my head and it will arrive on his shoulder. I did that, and it startled him quite a bit.

 

"Your actions… are not stupid. You wanted to recompense to the sin by helping me, the last survivor of the ethelens--"

"No, I--"

"Listen!!"

 

I barked suddenly, and Rake shut up immediately.

 

"I… don't care about those. Any of those. My people are a lost cause anyway. While it is indeed saddening that I am the last surviving one, in the end, I am more saddened by the fact that my family is dead rather than losing my entire race. I just do not care about everybody else.

 

Your sin of wiping out my entire race, I care about none of it. So, if you want to make yourself feel better… then go ahead.

 

Accompany me. Follow me on my journeys. I'm not stupid enough to throw you away just because of something that you didn't even intentionally do, so go ahead. I need someone to accompany me, and it will be… very useful when that someone is conveniently the strongest human hero."

 

All of this may sound like a joke to him, but I'm not kidding. I have made the decision, and he will need to accept it. 

 

He turned his face away from me, and I bet he is feeling very uncomfortable having my head on his shoulder.

 

The guilt inside him is that strong… huh?

 

"So come with me. And help me… find vengeance."

 

My true goal… was already there since the very beginning.

 

"I want to kill… all those bastards at the White Cathedral."

 

The King of Ardjestyn. The lion mask…

 

"All of them will die to my hands."

 

Hearing my declaration, Rake was moved. His eyes were opened widely from the surprise coming from my words, and he let out a sigh. 

 

He turned his gaze back to the ceilings, and he spoke again.

 

"Big words from a princess who can't even swing a sword… can you do it?"

"As long as I have the wish to do so… It will happen, right?"

"Words alone can't take down a kingdom like that."

"… You can, can't you?"

 

Rake looked surprised, because he was not thinking that I would be trusting him this much. Just because he opened up, and I immediately trusted him? What was I thinking?

 

Well, it was very clear for me already, about who my enemies are. Rake is not one of them, and in fact, he is probably my greatest ally. 

 

The only thing that is not clear… is Rake himself.

 

"So? I will ask you again. Will you help me?"

I asked Rake the same question again, but this time it's different. It's not that I wanted answers, nor that it decides how I regard him after the answer.

 

The answer decides whether or not he will be coming with me.

 

But Rake, he…

 

He is much more stubborn than I thought.

 

"How…"

 

I pulled my head away because I noticed something from him. I turned my gaze back to him, and noticed him crying so heavily.

 

"How can you accept… such a person like me…?"

This is so meddlesome.

 

I thought the fact that he is opening up to me means that he is already accepting my kindness. I thought since he is allowing me to talk to him, it means he is already accepting the fact that he needs me.

 

But here he is, still wondering why I even want someone like him to even be next to me.

 

The guilt inside him is already corrupting him beyond repair. I can tell that much.

 

God damn it, the world just has to be very complicated now, huh!? 

 

How annoying, but at the very least it is clear to me now. It is crystal clear… of who my enemies are.

 

I stood up from my position, lifting my body away from Rake. As I got up, I chanted the words of vengeance.

 

"The king of Ardjestyn, who made the order to kill my people. The heroes of Ardjestyn, who contributed in the genocide. And finally… the lion masked bastard who slaughtered my entire family.

 

Will you help me… kill every single one of them?"

 

Rake is still sobbing ever so sadly down there, still not sure how he can react to my actions. I let out a sigh and pondered over what to do.

 

What should I do with him…?

 

After all, he is not my enemy. He can be my greatest ally, and I will make sure of it. So there is no reason for him to hate himself, just because I needed his help.

 

I turned around and touched the item in my chest. It's the necklace mother gave me, the secret power that the ethelens has been keeping for centuries.

 

Should I… give this to him?

 

I mean looking at him now, he is quite battered. Giving it to him now is truly convenient.

 

But, does he really need it?

 

He is the strongest human hero, does he need another extra power? He can just defeat everyone anyway, giving this to him is only going to be a waste.

 

I'm also not sure if I can fully trust him… I am planning to give it some time until I can fully trust him.

 

I will… keep this thing for now. Until I find someone else I can genuinely trust with this, I will keep it.

 

"Then, I guess it's decided."

 

I turned my gaze back to him, and found him no longer in sight. I then lowered my gaze, and found the guy sitting down again and leaning to the wall.

 

… Oh, right. Battered up.