A New Spring

"Nooooooooo! Ari, I don't wanna see a doctor. I don't wannnnnaaaaa!"

"But...but you have to. Otherwise, you won't get better."

Arizona wasted no time arguing after that particular conversation—she knocked on the door to the doctor's office and rushed inside with her Commander's daughter in tow—without even giving whoever was inside a chance to respond. Despite her earlier protestations, the girl did not resist much—if only because she was already too weak to continue being stubborn. And Arizona was grateful for that; she could feel the girl burning up as she and her sweat clung to her.

The doctor inside, whom she noticed was not a familiar face and clad in a JMSDF uniform, immediately went to them even when they had just come into view. Arizona allowed him to scoop the paling girl up and carry her to the examination table. She heard him asking—in precise but noticeably accented English— if she felt a little more comfortable after lying down and saw the girl nodding weakly.

There was nothing she could do now, so she slipped further away from the doctor as he began his examination. It wasn't only because she didn't want to interfere with his work—but more because of the gnawing unease when she was near him, more so than having to be inside a medical facility. She disliked being there, but looking at things proved to be an excellent distraction.

Arizona knew it wasn't right to act and feel like that just because the doctor was Japanese, especially when he had not done anything wrong. But she couldn't help it. Not when the memories of Pearl Harbor would, at times, resurface to haunt her—even to this day. She would never think of hating the Japanese, then and now—but it remained difficult for her to be at ease among them, even their KANSENs. When their contingent first arrived at the naval station a few days before, in the early days of spring, all other members of the alliance were there to welcome them—but she found herself shrinking back and had to purposefully hide behind her sister, much to her shame. She was glad Pennsylvania and her peers were so understanding.

Right now, she hoped such apprehension wouldn't be too obvious—and that he was too distracted by his patient to notice. Thankfully, the girl could still answer questions, and thus he wouldn't need to draw information from her.

"Um, miss? Hello?"

Arizona jerked at the light touch on her shoulder and whipped to see the doctor, looking just as alarmed as she was. He composed himself faster than she could, however.

"Sorry if I surprised you," he said, a thin smile on his face. "Well, this girl is suffering from stomach flu. It's that time of the year, apparently—nothing too awful, though she will have to stay in bed. A week at most—but most kids would've recovered in a few days. So make sure she gets enough rest and stays hydrated. Give her easy-to-digest foods—soups, crackers, and the like to ease her back into eating. Oh, and don't give her anything fatty, spicy, and sweet."

"Ah...I see. I'll keep that in mind."

"Thank you. Ah, wait a moment; I'll get her some medicine."

Arizona was relieved—though not without some guilt—when the doctor left her for the medicine cabinet. As he searched through it, she went to check on the Commander's daughter, seeing her with a big grin despite her condition.

"The doctor is so nice," she chirped, clearly pleased. "He promised me there would be no injections."

"Ah, did he? That's good," Arizona nodded. She certainly would like to believe so.

"Here's her medicine. Take one two or three times a day," the doctor came up to them with a nondescript bottle half full of pills.

"Thank you," Arizona took the pill bottle. She then noticed the paper he was holding in his other hand and asked about it.

"This? When stationed in Atsugi, I would normally give kids candies whenever they visited. But it's a big no-no for her to have candy right now, so this is an IOU. Come see me when you get better, and I'll give you one," he handed the paper to the girl, who initially sulked at that—but then laughed along with him. Even Arizona allowed herself a muted chuckle as she watched.

"Well then, let's go back, Annie," Arizona picked the girl up from the table, cradling her gently to make sure she was comfortable. Once the girl had snuggled against her, Arizona turned to the doctor.

"Thank you so much, doctor," she said, rubbing the girl's back as she groaned softly.

"Don't mention it. Oh, by the way," the doctor reached for his pocket to take out a Band-Aid, to Arizona's surprise. "Take this for that cut on your finger."

Just when did he notice it was beyond Arizona. She indeed had a cut on her pointer finger—courtesy of a galley duty mishap. She let it be, thinking it wasn't something to raise a fuss about. Usually, nobody would've even seen it because it would be concealed by her glove—which she had neglected to put on in her rush.

"But it's nothing," Arizona murmured, shying away a little. The doctor was unconvinced.

"Oh, we can't risk it getting infected, can we? We should never underestimate any wounds, big or small. Please, take this."

If only you knew, a thought echoed in her mind as Arizona extended a shaky hand to receive the dressing. She had suffered much, much worse than just a cut—something that few would dare imagine. But the doctor, obliviously smiling, seemed very sincere about the whole thing, and she figured she should just take it—she was never one to waste kindness.

"So, please come back in a week, okay, young lady? I'll be here waiting," the doctor said as Arizona adjusted her posture to allow the girl to reveal a beaming smile—which she had no doubt was because of the prospect of free candy.

"Sure!"

"Then, we'll take our leave, doctor. Again, thank you," Arizona bowed slightly.

"No problem, um, miss...?"

Being asked her name was not something Arizona had expected. What business would a doctor have with knowing the name of someone who wasn't his patient? But she didn't want to be rude. There should be no harm in telling him. Besides, he had been nothing but kind to them.

"It's...Arizona. Um...USS Arizona. US Navy KANSEN," she replied rather hurriedly.

"I...see."

"And um... we'll come back in a week," Arizona gave him a curt nod—which he returned—and paced away. She didn't notice the change in his countenance—a consternation that became solemn, pensive, and knowing.

***

Days breezed past, and soon Arizona found herself before a familiar door, with the Commander's daughter by her side. The girl had recovered well; her cheeks were flushing, and she had a big smile, not to mention skipping all the way to the base hospital—All because of the promise of candy, but that was hardly surprising.

In any case, Arizona was happy that the girl was lively once more, enough to distract herself from her discomfort. Exhaling sharply, she knocked on the door—but owing to the lack of urgency, this time, she waited for a little while as the girl tapped her feet on the floor. She wasn't as patient.

It didn't take long for the door to open, revealing the face of the same doctor they had met last week. He smiled to welcome them in, but Arizona could not bring herself to return it as warmly as the girl. She couldn't even simply waltz in like she did.

Once inside, the Commander's daughter immediately presented the note he gave her last time—he chuckled as he received the paper, then gestured toward the examination table.

"I see you've already recovered. But I'd like to do a quick examination to make sure."

Hearing that, the girl lost all her cheer, and the doctor chuckled again.

"It won't take long," he soothed and helped the girl up to the table when she finally relented. Arizona looked on for a brief moment, then shied away because she, again, grew restless. The doctor gently asked a few questions, occasionally humming in understanding and approval. It didn't take long for him to conclude the examination.

"My, aren't you a healthy young lady. And as promised, here's a candy," he laughed as he noticed the eyes that sparkled with gleeful anticipation when he took the candy bar out of his pocket.

"Yay! Thanks a bunch, doc!"

"You're welcome. Don't forget to brush your teeth, yeah?"

"Okay!"

Arizona heaved a relieved sigh as the Commander's daughter went to her, already munching loudly on her prize. The girl soon tugged at her skirt.

"Mm, sho good! Come on, Ari, let's go."

Arizona didn't need to be asked twice because she, too, felt like leaving right away. Regardless of that, she turned to the doctor and bowed slightly.

"Again, thank you, doctor," she said, almost hushed. She didn't see his shadow of a frown, and when she looked up, he was smiling like nothing had happened.

"Ah, just doing my job...by the way, are you doing well?"

"Eh...?"

"Sorry," the doctor scratched the back of his head when he noticed how Arizona seemed to be taken aback by the question, but he wasn't entirely surprised at her reaction. "But well...I simply wanted to know if you're okay. Nothing more."

"It's alright... I'm okay. No need to worry about me," Arizona moved away even further before realizing it.

"I understand. Well then, I won't keep you here. Thank you for coming," the doctor's face had turned vacant and stayed that way even as Arizona excused herself. The Commander's daughter had a last wave at the man, but she never looked back.

***

Arizona thought she would never see him again, at least in a long while—but she was mistaken. He was indeed an officer first and foremost, and thus his appearance during that joint exercise, the first after so long, was not something she should find unexpected. But she did, anyway—if only because he seemed so different. She didn't know if it was because of her or something else, but the doctor seemed so detached, even as he spoke to his fellow officers—gone was all the friendliness he had shown before. It was as if he didn't want to be or care about being there.

If that was true, then it was something they had in common. She, too, wasn't too keen on being there, and not only because she wasn't taking part in the exercise either.

At least the wait for her sister and friends to return was a lot more bearable thanks to the pleasantly sunny weather, a rarity during the season. Now that she thought of it—that was probably the reason there was an exercise in the first place. She basked in the warmth, everything around her seemed to disappear, and her lips turned upward. Sometimes she was just so thankful for simple moments like this. Her peace was short-lived, however, when she noticed him approaching—he stopped after a while, keeping a reasonable distance from her, giving her a sense of relief. If he moved anymore closer than that, she didn't know if she could bear it. And that would still feel unfair to both of them.

"Pleasant weather isn't it," he began. To Arizona, it sounded more like a statement than a question. He didn't look at her, and his gaze wandered over the open waters instead—and Arizona felt her unease abating even more, though not to the extent of full assurance.

"Yes...yes it is," she replied, softly but audibly.

"So...uh, I just realized I haven't apologized to you for giving you the discomfort a few days ago, Miss Arizona. I'm sorry about that."

Arizona was grateful she wasn't eating; otherwise, she would have choked. Still, the apology left a somewhat unpleasant sensation in her throat.

"You don't need to be sorry for that. I mean...it has nothing to do with you."

In the brief silence that ensued, Arizona wondered if she did actually speak that harshly. She also wondered if she should apologize. She decided that wasn't the case when she noticed the little smile gracing the stony visage.

"Hm-mm. I wish I could do something to help, but..."

Arizona could tell the sides of her face were growing warmer, and not because of the sun. Hearing this man she didn't know saying that proved more disquieting than everything he had done so far, intentional or otherwise—even if he did sound sincere.

But he didn't know her pain and didn't need to.

"...No need to trouble yourself...you wouldn't know..." she said, her voice reduced to a near-whisper—and she couldn't help it despite wanting to show her conviction.

He didn't reply right away, merely stroking his chin as if weighing what she said.

"That's true. I wouldn't know. I can still try. Ever since I learned of your name that day... I've been thinking..."

As he spoke, he pulled his wallet out of his pocket, and from it, he fished something out. Arizona took it when it was offered to her, and immediately her hand went cold as she saw the grinning young pilot on that worn photograph clipping.

"He was my grandfather, an aviator in the Imperial Navy. A model officer, some would say. A true patriot who never questions orders," the doctor said as he took back the photo and put it back in his wallet. He could tell Arizona was confused, dismayed, and maybe even saddened, but her gaze had neither anger nor hatred.

"...Funny how I was supposed to call him grandfather when he didn't even make it past 26 and left my grandmother and mother to fend for themselves. But, like I said, he never questioned orders. He went willingly to Pearl Harbor and Midway and everything else—until the day he slammed his plane into the enemy ship. He really liked the B5N, the 'Kates' to you people. He even died in it," the doctor paused as Arizona visibly stiffened at the mention of what he knew would be the darkest memory for her, and his heart sank. But he realized there was no stopping now.

"...and he had always bragged about the ships they brought down at Pearl Harbor. He never stopped bragging about destroying the enemies of the Empire to my grandmother and my mother—even though she was too young to understand. He didn't feel guilty about it at all...But even then..."

He paused again—then, much to Arizona's shock, he bowed at her, bowed so deeply it was as if his back had formed a slope.

"I would like to sincerely apologize for his deeds, inexcusable as they were. I...I hope it will bring you a semblance of closure, no matter how little."

Arizona took in deep breaths as quickly as she expelled them. That was the first time someone apologized to her about it. And it was even from someone who shouldn't need to bear the burden of the past—not that of a nation and one man.

But still, she found it unexpectedly heartening to hear regardless.

"It's alright. That was in the past, and there's no need to look back."

Arizona had wondered just moments ago if she should apologize. Now she was sure she should, but for a different reason—because the words she had spoken just moments ago would be meaningless without one.

The doctor looked up to find Arizona smiling. Just a pure, warm smile without anything behind it—she even inched closer.

"I should be the one to apologize...Because all these times, I've not treated you well, have I? Even though you have been nothing but kind. All because of a stupid reason—because I felt uneasy just because you're Japanese. Because of what should have been long in the past."

"But it's alright. I understand. It's my fault for not noticing, and for that, I'm sorry!" the doctor hastily said, seeing that Arizona wasn't stopping anytime soon. Then he was bowing again.

"But you haven't done anything wrong, really," she replied.

To passersby, it would be a peculiar sight—two people bowing at each other, seemingly waiting for the other to just stop so they could. Then it dawned on them, and soon there were two laughs—one in titters and the other more hearty.

"Miss Arizona, perhaps we could agree that no more apology is needed," the doctor remarked between breaths. Arizona allowed herself to catch a breath and gather herself after letting loose for the first time in so many years. When she did, her head felt light and clear.

"I would agree...but I still think I need to thank you, doctor. Needless or not, what you've just said means a lot to me. It showed me a lot of things. So, thank you. Thank you very much."

Feeling just as light and warm, the doctor smiled back, even though he was just starting to get flustered.

"... You're welcome. I hope...well...we could get along starting today."

"Certainly...because we are allies now. I should try harder to keep that in mind from now on."

"I'm sure you could. And since you said we're allies, I think I need to properly introduce myself. Lieutenant Commander Matsuda Kenji. It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Arizona."

"Likewise, Lieutenant Commander. Or should I just call you Doctor Matsuda?"

"Ah, yes, I'd prefer that, thank you. And now, only one thing left to do," Doctor Matsuda took out the clipping again and began tearing it up as Arizona looked on quizzically. He then allowed the breeze to scatter the pieces until they were gone completely.

"You see, I only kept that as a reminder," he said before Arizona could ask, "that I'm here, in the JMSDF, to help and save people with my knowledge. Not to be a tool to wage needless wars that split families apart like my grandfather. Now I don't need it anymore."

"I'm glad to hear that," Arizona nodded—and that wasn't simply a tactful platitude.

"Oh, look; the fleet's returning," Doctor Matsuda motioned for Arizona to look at the sea. In the distance, she could see the shape of ships, gradually becoming clear. Her sister and friends were among them—that she was sure.

"Don't you want to greet them?" he turned to Arizona.

"Of course...I should go now," she stepped away for a few paces, then whirled around. Her warm smile had not waned. "See you, doctor."

"Come see me whenever you're sick," he replied, and Arizona giggled as she went on her way—it's not like a KANSEN like her would get sick so easily. But they'll meet again anyway.

Her steps felt lighter now—she felt lighter and surer on her feet. She knew she would also meet the Japanese KANSENs when she caught up with her sister. Perhaps this time, in this season of beginnings, she could begin trying to know—and understand—them.