Barghest was irritated. Actually no, 'Barghest' wasn't irritated, Fairy Knight Gawain was.
Master told her that she was exaggerating about it, that maybe she should be a bit more open-minded at the possibility that not all of her versions were that interested in being knights… but that wasn't the issue. Far from it. When Baobhan Sith was 'taken' by the very individuals her queen told her to spy on, she thought that she had it in her to endure the general kindness of these individuals. That since she had no clear connection to them, it would have been her sole duty to deal with them all at once… but that proved to be a mistaken view.
Just like with the heiress to Morgan's throne, even the tall and towering blonde found herself stunned stiff when she spotted a large hound happily walking together with the pretty looking queen to the unusual king. Tail wagging, tongue out as the beast breathed excitedly, and shivering in pure eagerness while the giggles from the young woman beside it plus the tender scratching around its neck further enabled it to behave submissively.
It made the knight angry. It made the knight… aggravated.
She couldn't exactly explain what really had her this miffed at the sight. Not without going into the details of that scene. That hound wasn't Lobo. The beast had a particular fur and scent Barghest had learned to know about but also despise due to her basic instinct. No, the blonde could recognize this other scent and the worst part of it was that it wasn't too different from hers. Where the large mutt smelled of natural Barghest, hers was more 'metallic' and 'artificial'. And that's where the jealousy sparked, but not how it grew worse the more she was around that scene. Even looking at it from afar did little to soothe her inner irritation. The beast, that was happily part of that 'family', was less than her. She didn't look to have the power of a knight, only the original might that the Human History's Barghest owned. Such an inferior version of herself, and yet… happier. The content look wasn't deceptive, the mutt was glad to have what she got albeit it wasn't something Fairy Knight Gawain would consider as something pleasant.
Her musing eventually ceased as she spotted a figure that gained her attention. 'King' Joseph was currently alone, seemingly enjoying a break from others and… presenting an opportunity. For what? The knight wanted to inquire about the queen's very questions, while the quieter side of her, now louder than before, wanted something else. Something immediate, something she knew the other king could answer promptly if asked.
She approached, her struggles far from settling as she finally got close enough and gained his attention due to her proximity. He blinked, offering a fascinated look.
"Good morning, Fairy Knight Gawain. Is there… something I can help you with?"
"Perhaps," The blonde replied curtly. "I'm surprised that… you have a contract with a Fairy Beast."
"Oh, you mean Barghest? What about her?"
He knew 'her' name? That was shocking in a way, but not completely. It could be that her appearance had been recorded by humans and that had been a renowned being.
"How did you get a contract that bound her to you? What did you offer her to submit her will to you?"
He blinked and showed the knight… confusion?
"You mean if I have offered anything to gain her services? That's… not exactly how it went," The monarch argued, leaving the knight frowning. "If I remember correctly, we found Barghest as she had been summoned by a cult trying to attack my kingdom by binding her to them. They were actually unprepared for that occasion as Barghest didn't accept their demands and that ended up with a fight that left her wounded."
"And?" The blonde pressed, her intrigue doubled at that unexpected backstory behind such a bond.
"And I found her after looking over the massacre she left behind. I thought that what we would have found was a dangerous beast but… when I looked at her growling and yet stationary form, I couldn't help but notice that she was furious not because we were here, but because she saw us as threats due to her injury," The human continued the story. "So, I calmly sheathed my sword and walked up to the injury with the intention of healing it. She wasn't exactly trusting at that point, but she dropped all that anger when she got her wound fixed. She even allowed me to rub her belly."
It was instinctual, with Barghest reaching for her covered stomach and wondering if that was even really good. A gesture that wasn't missed by the king as he looked thoughtful for a moment before he advanced an accurate notion of the situation.
"You are her, aren't you?"
The guess left her stiff once more, her eyes wide open and… her head bobbing up and down in a nod.
"Yes."
Joseph sighed. "I suppose it's a bit frustrating. It's a version of you and… it's a different look on how things could have been done."
"How do you-"
"Baobhan Sith is like that too. She is still nervous at times, but I believe she enjoys being treated as part of the family and… having a twin sister."
"And what does leave me to do?" The Fairy Knight remarked dryly. "I'm a knight and a loyal supporter of Queen Morgan."
Despite the stern reminder, the human smiled. "Are you just that, Barghest?"
She frowned. "What?"
"Are you just a knight, Barghest? Cooking with the twins isn't much knightly, same for spending time playing with the children Servants," Joseph pointed out. "I would say that you are a knight, but it would be foolish to say you're just that. You are a bit more than that. You're a person, an individual, someone that has hobbies, dreams and expectations, but also flaws, things to hate and activities to detest."
…
"And?"
"And that's the beauty of it, isn't it? You're not bound to be a single-dimensional being, but be an outright sentient being," The king replied earnestly. "And that should be the priority now. To explore what you previously couldn't because it would help you in the long run."
"Help? How? Would it make me stronger?" She inquired, her interest just increasing the more he spoke.
"I would say no since you're already at your strongest, but I believe that's not what you really think of this. Wouldn't you say that you lack some inner balance?"
"B-Balance?" Why did she stutter? This wasn't the first time she was told this, but why the way he said it made her so upset with herself.
"You're trying to focus more on the gift you got, the power you received, but in doing so you suppress part of your own mindset and that leaves you dissatisfied. After all, such a brilliant knight needs to fight their own instincts rather than suppress them. What would be the difference between a knight and its sword at that point."
…
"A-And how should I do this?"
"Finding relaxation would be a first step. To calm down and let peace drive you to resolution," Joseph answered readily, patting his lap as he was sitting by one of the chairs, offering him the means to offer her… a lap-pillow?
A-And why did she… do this? She was lowering to the lap, her chest pressing onto his legs, with her arms being used as support as she knelt down and got comfortable out of instinct. His hands moved, and she felt her hair ruffled before he went to the 'attack'. The scratching, the caressing- her eyes fluttered half-closed as she felt pure bliss strike her very core in a state of peace.
Why does this feel so good? It shouldn't be. She wasn't a mindless beast- a dog- a mutt! And yet the touch had her at ease. It was pleasant, but not as raw and intense as her many 'conquests' as a knight. No, it was lighter and yet so refreshing. She hummed, nuzzling against the palm as it began to leave her utterly sleepy.
How long has she kept this frustration in her and… why didn't she try to let go of it before? Why this… this felt right. She yawned, her need to find a time to rest now hitting her the strongest, depriving her of her strengths as she softly started to snore on the human's lap much to his amusement, his strokes over her head never ceasing for a moment as the blonde happily found her own peace one step at the time.
After all she was Fairy Knight Gawain AND Barghest, both the same being and never one of these two without the other…