Beep, beep.
The AmuSphere shut down with that short electronic sound.
Asuna slowly opened her eyes. Even before her eyes focused on
the ceiling of the dark room, Asuna felt the cold, humid air sticking to
her skin.
Although she set the air conditioner to weak heating mode, it
seems like she forgot to disable the timer and it ended up turning off
during FullDive. The temperature in her 10 tatami room is almost the
same as the temperature outside. Noticing a small sound, she turned
towards the large window and noticed numerous water droplets on
the black glass.
Asuna shivered as she slowly got out of bed. She stretched her
finger toward the controls on the buried control panel and tapped the
touch sensor. With just that motion, following a short motor sound, the
curtains closed, hot air blew out of the air conditioner and the LED
lights on the ceiling released a pale orange light.
The packaging interior technology developed by RECTO had been
installed in Asuna's room. The room was renovated while she was in
hospital, but for some reason Asuna couldn't like this convenient
system. Everything in the room being controlled with a window was a
matter of course in the virtual world, but for some reason it feels a
little cold when it appears in the real world. It felt like she was always
in the inorganic line of sight of the sensors installed across the walls
and floors.
Perhaps the reason she felt like that was because she visited
Kirito so many times, that is saying Kirigaya Kazuto's home. The
warmth of the traditional Japanese house contrasted her own's
coldness. The house of her grandparents on her mother's side felt the
same way. When she went there to play during the summer, she always
sat on the sunny porch and swung her legs while eating the shaved ice
her grandmother made. However, her grandparents on her mother's
side had passed away a long time ago and that house had also been
torn down quite a while ago—
Sighing softly, Asuna put on her slippers and stood up. She
suddenly felt slightly dizzy, so she looked down for a while, strongly
aware of the heavy weight pulling at her body in reality.
Of course, a sense of weight is also simulated inside the fantasy
world. However in that world, Asuna's body and soul could soar in the
sky with just a light stomp on the floor. The real world's weight was
not simply physical, it also contained too many aspects which could not
be gotten rid of no matter how much you tried. Although she wanted to
lie down on her bed, dinnertime wasn't far off. If she was even a
minute late, her mother would have another thing to complain about.
As she trudged towards the closet, the door slid open without
waiting for her to move her hand. Taking off her comfortable sweater,
she reluctantly threw it towards her bed. She changed into a dark,
unblemished, cherry-colored skirt and sat down at the adjacent
dressing table. The three-sided mirror opened and the lights above
automatically turned on as well.
Even at home, Asuna's mother wouldn't let her dress slovenly.
Asuna picked up a comb and quickly tidied her hair which got
disheveled while in FullDive.
Asuna suddenly remembered a scene she saw at the Kirigaya
house in Kawagoe.
Lyfa/Suguha said that she and Kirito were responsible for
preparing dinner that day. A blurry-eyed Kazuto was forcefully
dragged downstairs by Suguha. The two of them stood side by side in
the kitchen, Suguha cutting the vegetables while Kirito roasted the fish.
Their mother returned at that time, and enjoyed a beer while watching
TV. They lively chatted on one hand while the dishes were being
prepared and when dinner was ready, the three of them said "Let's eat"
together.
Shakingly letting out a long sigh, Asuna held back her tears, put
down her comb and stood up.
The lights behind her extinguished without waiting for her to
close the door as she walked out of her room towards the dark
corridor.
The maid Sada Akiyo just opened the front door as Asuna walked
down the semicircular stairs and reached the first floor. She had
prepared dinner and was about to head home.
Asuna faced the short 40 year old woman and greeted her.
"You've worked hard, Sada-san. I'm very thankful for your work
everyday. I'm sorry I've waited until now to say this."
At this, Akiyo's shook her head with eyes widened as though
there's no such thing and immediately greeted her back.
"It, it's nothing, miss. This is work."
Over the past year, Asuna already understood that it was useless
however she said it. So she just approached her and quietly asked.
"Have mother and brother returned yet?"
"It seems like Kouichirou-sama won't return till later. Mistress is
already in the dining room."
"... Is that so, thanks. I'm sorry for bothering you."
Asuna nodded at her, and Akiyo bowed once again before
reopening the door and hurrying home.
Asuna recalled that she has two children in junior high and
primary school. Even though she also lives in Setagaya, it'd be 7:30 by
the time she got home after buying groceries. It was a tough time for
children with good appetite. Asuna once told her mother to let her just
leave the completed dinner here, but her mother just ignored her.
Hearing the metallic noise of the three doors locking, Asuna
turned around and crossed the entrance hall to reach the dining room.
As soon as she pushed open the thick oak door, a quiet yet strict
voice reached Asuna's earddrums.
"You're late."
Looking at the clock on the wall, it was exactly 6:30. Just as Asuna
was about to say this, her voice came once again.
"Please arrive at the dining table five minutes earlier."
"... Sorry."
Muttering quietly, Asuna stepped on the carpet, approached the
table and sat down on a high back chair with eyes downcast.
In the center of the 20 tatami dining room was a long table
surrounded by eight chairs. The second chair from the northeast
corner is Asuna's seat. Her brother Kouichirou sat to her left and her
father Shouzou sat at the east end, but these two seats were currently
empty.
Asuna's mother Yuuki Kyouko sat diagonally to her left, reading a
book on economics with her favorite sherry in one hand.
She's fairly tall for a woman. Even though she's thin, her solid
frame removes any sense of slimness. Her hair which was dyed a rich,
brown color parted to the sides, neatly cut along her jaw.
Even though her face's handsome, her high nose and jawline, as
well as the deep wrinkles near her mouth created a severely cold
impression. Perhaps that was the impression she wanted to create.
With her sharp tongue and acrimonious political stance, she defeated
all her competitors in the school and became a professor at the age of
49 last year.
As Asuna sat down, Kyouko closed the hard-covered book, placed
her napkin on her knees and picked up her knife and fork before finally
looking at Asuna.
Asuna looked down, muttered "Let's eat", and picked up a spoon.
For a while, the only sound in the dining room was the clanking of
silverware.
The menu was vegetable salad with blue cheese, scafata di fave,
fried fish with herb sauce, whole wheat bread... things like that. Every
day's food was determined by Kyouko's nutrition calculations, but of
course she didn't cook it herself.
While eating, Asuna wondered since when did meals with just the
two of them became so tension-filled.
No, perhaps it had been like that since a long time ago. She
remembered being severely reprimanded when she spilled her soup or
didn't eat her vegetables. It was just that in the past, Asuna didn't know
that meals could also be lively.
As she mechanically ate, her thoughts wandered off to her house
in the other world. Kyouko's voice suddenly pulled her back to reality.
"... Were you using that machine again?"
Asuna glanced at her mother, and nodded.
"... Yes. Since everyone agreed to meet up and work on our
assignments together."
"Things like assignments, you won't learn anything if you don't
work on it yourself."
Kyouko wouldn't understand even if she told her she worked on
it on her own. Asuna lowered her head and changed the topic.
"Everyone lives really far apart. Over there, we can meet at any
time."
"Using that type of machine isn't considered meeting. From the
very beginning, assignments are things meant to be done on your own.
You're just playing around if you're doing it with friends."
Tipping her glass of sherry, Kyoko spoke faster.
"Listen well, you don't have any time to play. Since you're already
two years slower than the other children, you naturally need to work
hard enough to make up for those years."
"... I've been studying well. Isn't the second semester's report card
already printed and placed on your desk?"
"I've looked at it, but evaluations from that kind of school can't
even be considered."
"That kind... of school?"
"Listen well, Asuna. In the third semester, you will also be tutored
outside of school. Not the recently popular type which is done over the
internet, they would come over to this house."
"Wait... Wait a moment, why are you suddenly..."
"Look at this."
Kyouko stopped Asuna's protest without leaving any room for
explanation and picked up a Tablet PC from the table. Asuna frowned
as she glanced at the screen of the Tablet PC which her mother passed
her.
"... What is this... An outline for a... test for transfer students?"
"It's a test for transferring into the third year of a high school
directed by one of your mother's friend, it's a chance I only managed to
get by persuading her in every way possible. This is not like that
patched together school, it's a proper school. It's credit-based there, so
you only need to go there for half a year to fulfill the requirements for
graduating. That way, you can start attending university in September."
Asuna looked at Kyouko dumb-founded, placed the Tablet PC on
the table and lifted her left hand to cut off her mother who was getting
more and more passionate.
"Wait, wait a moment. I'm really bothered that you decided this
on your own. I really like this school. There are plenty of good teachers
there, I can learn properly even if I stayed. There's no need to transfer."
At those words, Kyouko exaggeratedly sighed, closed her eyes,
tilted her gold-rimmed glasses and sat up straight. This action was
unique to Kyouko, and was a speaking technique often used to let her
opponent know her superiority. Even men cowered when she did this
action on the teachers' room's sofa. Even her husband Shouzou tries
his best to avoid opposing Kyouko's views while at home.
"... Mother has researched properly."
Kyouko spoke with a didactic tone.
"The place you're going to can't even be called a school. The
curriculum is sloppy and the lessons' standard are also low. The
teachers are patched together, hardly any of them have a proper
history. Rather than an academic facility, that place is more of an
asylum."
"That... That kind of statement..."
"They make it sound nice and call it a facility for educating
students delayed by the incident, but in reality, that school is just a
place for them to monitor all the children who might cause problems in
the future. This type of facility is necessary for those children who've
been killing each other in that bizarre world, but you don't need to go
as well."
"..."
Asuna can't even respond to this overly one sided speech.
The school she had been attending since the beginning of last
spring was in Nishitokyo, and it really was urgently built within two
months of the project's announcement. It's purpose was to help the
children whose education was delayed by 2 years as a result of being
trapped in the death game «Sword Art Online». All SAO players under
the age of 18 had free admission, and if you graduate you could apply
for university entrance exams. That extremely good treatment
received criticism for a while.
However, Asuna herself understood while attending the school
that it wasn't simply a safety net. All the students were obligated to
participate in a consultation once a week, involving answering
questions which are blatantly tests for anti-social behaviour. According
to your answers, you might be sent back to hospital for diagnosis or
even asked to take drugs. So Kyouko calling it an «Asylum» wasn't
completely baseless.
Even so, Asuna loved that school. No matter what the government
and ministry of education were thinking, the teachers are all people
who volunteered and candidly face their students. There was no need
for students to intentionally hide their past, and more importantly, she
could be together with close friends. With Lisbeth, Silica, some of her
companions from the front lines, and also — Kirito.
Asuna clenched her fork and bit her lip, and fought against the
impulse in her heart to tell her mother everything from beginning to
end.
She fought with the impulse to tell her: "I'm one of those people
«who've been killing each other» that her mother mentioned. I'd been
living by killing with my sword everyday, and I do not feel a shred of
remorse for those days."
Kyouko continued to speak, unaware of the struggle in Asuna's
heart.
"Even if you attend that kind of place, you couldn't get into
university properly. Think about it, you're already eighteen years old.
However, where you are now, you don't know when you'd be able to go
to university. You have to go to the examination centre for an
examination next week. Are you not worried at all?"
"Things like going to university... There aren't any major
problems even if you go a few years later. Besides, going to university
isn't the only path in life..."
"No."
Kyouko coldly rejected Asuna's words.
"You have the ability. You know how much trouble your mother
had gone through in order to draw out that ability. Yet you wasted two
years in that strange game... Mother wouldn't say this if you were a
normal child. However, you're not like that. Not making full use of your
talent and letting it rot is a sin. You have the qualifications and ability
needed to go to an excellent university and receive top-class education.
So you should do so. You can stay at university and continue learning
or make use of your ability in the government or an enterprise, your
mother wouldn't interfere to that extent. However, I will not allow you
to give up the chance to receive higher education."
"I do not have things like innate talent."
Asuna finally managed to get a word in during Kyouko's long
speech.
"A person's way of living should be decided by herself, right? In
the past, I also thought that going to a good university and finding a
good job was everything in life. However, I've changed. Even though I
can't answer you right now, I'm sure I can find something I want to do.
I want to stay at my current school for another year and find out what
that is."
"That's just limiting your own choices. No matter how many years
you stay at that kind of place, you wouldn't have any roads to take.
Things are different if you changed schools though. The university
above is also a famous one, so if you get good results there, you can
transfer over to mother's university. Listen well, Asuna. Mother doesn't
want you to walk down a miserable path. I want you to have a career
which you can proudly show to anyone."
"My career... Then, what was with that person introduced to me in
January? ... Even though I don't know what he was told, that person
talked as though he was already my fiance. Isn't mother the one who's
limiting my lifestyle?"
Asuna couldn't muffle the quiver in her voice. Even though she
put all her strength into her stare, Kyouko just unmovingly drank from
her glass.
"Marriage is also a part of your career. If you do not marry
someone who isn't materially free, you'll regret it in a few years. The
things you said you want to do will also become impossible. In that
aspect, Yuuya is perfect. These days, a local bank run by our family is
much more reassuring than large banks with constant struggles
between factions. Also, mother really likes Yuuya. Isn't he a really
straightforward boy?"
"... It seems like you didn't reflect on it at all. The one who started
the incident which caused me and many other people pain and placed
RECTO in financial crisis, was Sugou Nobuyuki who was chosen by
mother."
"Shut up."
Kyouko's countenance changed, and she waved her left hand as
though to drive away an annoying aphid.
"I don't want to hear about that person... Originally, the one who
was fond of him and wanted to adopt him as a son was your father.
From the very beginning, he was never any good at judging people. It
doesn't matter, although Yuuya isn't really imposing, but that way we
can rest assured."
Indeed, Asuna's father Shouzou never really paid much attention
to the people around him. He put all his energy into running the
company, even now after having stepped down from his position as
CEO, he still disregarded his family in order to adjust their cooperation
with oversees capital. Shouzou himself only said that he thought highly
of Sugou's aspirations, developing and managing abilities, that it was
due to his own incompetence that he didn't notice Suguo's inner
personality.
However, Asuna understood that one of the reasons Sugou
Nobuyuki kept getting more and more aggresive since junior high was
due to the harsh pressure from the people around him. Moreover, a
portion of that pressure definitely came from Kyouko's words.
Asuna swallowed her complaints and stiffly said.
"Anyways, I absolutely do not want to go out with that person. I
will choose my own partner."
"It's alright, as long as he matches you, anyone who is outstanding
is fine. However I'm saying this in advance, that kind of kid — students
from that type of facility are not included."
"..."
From that sentence, she felt that Kyouko was hinting at a certain
person, Asuna was once again dumbfounded.
"... Could it be... You investigated? About him..."
She muttered with a quivering voice, but Kyouko didn't deny or
confirm it, instead she just changed the topic.
"You have to understand, your mother as well as your father wish
for your happiness. We've hoped for this since you were in
kindergarten. Even though you encountered a small setback, you can
definitely recover. As long as you seriously work hard. You can
accumulate a brilliant career."
It's not mine, it's yours, Asuna grumbled to herself.
Asuna and her brother Kouichirou are both an aspect of Kyouko's
«brilliant career». Kouichirou entered a first rate university and got
solid results at RECTO, satisfying Kyouko. Asuna should have followed,
but was involved in an incomprehensible thing like the SAO incident,
followed by a drop in RECTO's corporate image due to Sugou's case,
causing Kyouko to feel as though there was a blemish in her life.
Asuna lost the strength to continue arguing, put down her cutlery
on the half-filled plate and stood up.
"... About transferring, I'll think about it."
She was just saying that for now, but Kyouko insipidly replied:
"The deadline is next week. Fill in the required information and
print three copies on the study's table before then."
Asuna looked down, turned around and walked towards the door.
She originally wanted to just return to her room, but something
lingered in her heart, she turned around, faced Kyouko and said.
"Mother."
"... What is it?"
"Do you still feels ashamed about your dead parents, resentful
that you were born by a farmer rather than a famous house with
history?"
Kyouko's eyes widened in shock for a moment, followed by deep
wrinkles near her eyebrows and mouth.
"... Asuna! Come over here!"
Although she could still hear the sharp voice, Asuna closed the
door and blocked out the words. She quickly walked up the stairs as
though to run away and opened the door to her own room.
At the same time, the sensors noticed Asuna and automatically
activated the lights and air conditioner.
Asuna felt an intolerable restlessness, she walked straight to the
room's control panel and shut down the integrated AI. Just like that,
she flopped onto the bed and buried her face into the large mattress,
ignoring the wrinkles on her expensive blouse.
She didn't feel like crying. As a swordswoman, she already
decided not to cry tears of grief or sadness. However, that
determination couldn't endure the infinitely increasing unhappiness in
her chest.
What kind of swordswoman are you, ridiculed a part of her heart.
You're just slightly good at swinging a sword in a game, what power do
you have in the real world? Asuna bit her lips and asked herself.
Meeting a certain boy in that world, she should have changed. She
should've stopped blindly following values given to her by others and
fought for things she truly had to do.
However, looking from outside, how was she any different from
before she went to that world? She still acted like a doll and displayed
an empty smile in front of her relatives, she couldn't simply refuse the
path her parents forced on her. If she could only truly believe in herself
in the virtual world, then why did she return to reality.
"Kirito... Kirito."
Unconciously, she started calling that name repeatedly.
Kirito — Kirigaya Kazuto, still managed to maintain the strong
will he obtained in SAO even after returning to reality for over a year.
He should also be bearing considerable pressure, yet he never let it
show on his face.
In the past, when she asked what Kirito wanted to accomplish in
the future, Kirito embarrassedly smiled and replied that he wished to
become a producer rather than a player. Moreover, not only something
like a software for a game, he wanted to replace the currently
constraint-ridden FullDive technology and produce a more intimate
man-machine interface. For this, it seemed like he'd been visiting
overseas technology forums, actively learning and exchanging opinions.
Asuna felt that he would rush towards that goal without
confusion. If possible, she wanted to stay by his side and pursue the
same dream. She looked carefully at what she should learn and hoped
that they could continue to go to school together in the following year.
However, it seemed like that path has already been cut off. She
still couldn't resist in the end, that feeling of powerlessness assaulted
Asuna.
"Kirito-kun..."
She hoped that she could immediately see him. Even if it wasn't in
the real world, she wanted to be alone with him in that house, cry to
her heart's content on his chest and tell him everything.
However, she couldn't. The thought that the one Kirito loves
wasn't the powerless Yuuki Asuna, that it was one of the strongest
warriors Asuna «The Flash» became heavy shackles and haunted her.
『Asuna... is very strong... Much stronger than I am...』
She remembered these words which Kirito whispered to her in
that world. She might distance herself from his heart if she showed
weakness.
That was too scary. Asuna lied down, and unknowingly entered a
light sleep.
She saw herself with a sheathe decorated with silver hanging
from her waist, arm in arm with Kirito, walking somewhere in the
sunlight shining through the tree leaves. However, another one of her
was locked in a dark place, only able to silently look at the laughing
two.
In that bittersweet dream, Asuna strongly wished to return to
that world.