20 Ingram Street...

So here I am in Forest Hills Queens which is coincidently in my neighbourhood so I didn't have to go out of my way after finishing off my meeting with Mary Jane and although I offered to take her home she said she had somewhere to be which is why I'm standing in front of 20 Ingram Street alone which is the house that is also known as the Parker house which currently holds elderly Ben Parker, his wife May Parker and their nephew Peter Parker also known as the masked menace Spider-Man though that's only if you were to ask J Jonah Jameson and I'm pretty sure the only reason that he has a vendetta against Spider-Man is because he stole his son John Jameson's spotlight when saving him from the failed rocket that was in flight though I think that's a pretty even trade off so I guess it's not only that and I seem to recall that J Jonah Jameson doesn't like Spider-Man because he wears a mask and if I remember correctly his first wife was murdered by a man who wore a mask though that seems like a flimsy excuse as half the heroes in this city wear a mask so it must be something else or J Jonah Jameson is just an irrational man, anyway I shouldn't have headed off in a tangent but I did because I'm debating whether or not to go through with way I'm about to do and distracted myself by thinking about nonsensical things but I can't keep doing that as the reason I am here is because Mary Jane was worried that Peter was gonna get himself killed after she discovered he was Spider-Man and though in part it's because she's worried about his safety it's mostly because she is worried what will happen to sweet old May Parker if her beloved nephew were to die as well as having to cope alone with a now crippled husband and I wish she didn't have a bleeding heart but she does and although I know that Peter will be fine (unless this is anything like the 1060 universe in which Peter died and Miles Morales took up the mantle of Spider-Man, at least before there was that secret war thing and the universes got mashed together so there were two Spider-Men being Peter and Miles) it doesn't hurt to make sure that my buddy Peter (future meat shield to all spider related problems) is strong and hardened enough so that he can solve any problems he comes across (and stop them before they come to me, spider totem shit is often bullshit) and so I shirk off any remaining doubt I have and start to stride up to the door prepared to finally get it over with and start to make some bigger differences than the safe moves that I was limiting myself to and instead embrace making decisions that might mess with any meta-knowledge I have instead of freaking out like when I discovered that I saved Ben Parker from his fate and worried what kind of consequences that would have although I'm glad that Spider-Man still came into existence.

I finally come upon the green front door after travelling up the path through the nice cozy garden and after taking a breath I knock thrice on the door and then wait telling myself that if no one answers the door then I'm going to go home and forget about this and find some way else to keep Mary Jane from complicating Peter's life and distracting him from his duties and so I wait and after a few moments I come to the conclusion that no one is going to come and so I'm about to turn around and leave when I hear May Parker calling out that she'll be there in a moment with my enhanced hearing and stop in my tracks before resigning myself to getting more involved with this family just hoping that I wouldn't contract any of the Parker luck off of them (maybe it's not Parker luck and it's actually Spider luck, what if I already have it?) and so I contemplate about that for a moment before the green front door in front of me is swung wide open showing that the owner doesn't feel in any danger of feel like she might be in danger while in this neighbourhood which I understand since it's mid day and this is a nice neighbourhood, I look at the person who answered the door and come face to face (having to direct my face down towards her upturned face, do people really shrink when they get older or is that her normal height) with May Parker who looks surprised to see me though she doesn't look unwelcoming at the sight of me. "Nicholas dear, is that you? Well come on in I've just finished making some wheat cakes, Peter's favourite, and you can have some with Ben, Peter is in his room right now but I'll call him down. Come in dear, come in."

I don't even have the chance to get a word in edge wise before she's shuffling me in through the door closing it behind her and towards the kitchen not even asking why I've come or being unwelcoming because in fact she's being too welcoming and serving me some food as well and I'm a bit dumbstruck by the kindness and overall gentleness this woman is projecting and so I'm lost for words. "Uh, thank you Mrs Parker. Sounds delicious." I speak out not knowing what else to say and not being able to actually refuse her (what the hell are wheat cakes and why do they sound so dry?), I have gained access to this house much easier then I expected to and am now being pushed to have a meal in their kitchen. "Don't be silly dear, you can call me May. After all you saved my husband, the stubborn old fool he is. Make yourself comfortable while I go get Peter, he's been in his room since last night and has y come out so I think he might be a little unwell but I'll check if he's up to coming down." Saying so she pushes me toward the kitchen and then leaves to head up the stairs leaving me awkwardly standing in their living room just before the doorway to the kitchen because that woman is too nice for her own good and I can't help but feel that it might get her hurt one day from people taking advantage of her, and she mentioned that Peter is unwell so I'm assuming that either he actually is just sick or he had a big fight with some super villain yesterday and is currently licking his wounds.

With nothing left to do while May goes to check up on Peter and find out if he's up to coming down I head in through the doorway and into the kitchen which has a nice warm cozy family feeling to it and I look around the yellow room spotting some things that make me realise how much I miss my own parents before my eyes finally alight on Ben Parker who is currently sat at the kitchen table reading the newspaper though he obviously notices my entrance b the way his eyes shoot up to meet my own and instead of questioning why I am here he instead smiles at me warmly while gesturing with a free hand for me to take a seat at the kitchen table with him and I move to do so when I'm visibly shook by something I see, when I move over toward the kitchen table and move to pull out my own seat next to Ben I look down and I see that instead of Ben being sat on a kitchen chair like the one that I'm currently pulling out he's actually sat in a chair that has wheels attached to it which is more commonly known as a wheelchair and I'm struck with horrible guilt when I see him sat in it but more than that I'm struck by a crushing sense of defeat because that was actually the first and only time I actually tried to help someone in danger on my own and not only did the man end up getting shot he ended up in a wheelchair (the fact the he is Ben Parker and Peter's uncle who is crucial to his origin story has nothing to do with it) because the fact is that even for all my spider powers with which Peter can save so many I ended up not even being able to save an old man from being shot and I sometimes question why I even have these powers when I have to much time on my hands and I'm not working, Ben notices that my eyes are looking at his wheelchair and he must have seen some inkling of what I'm currently feeling on my face and he started to chuckle. "Don't worry about it kid, you saved my life remember so me sitting in a wheelchair Harley even needs mentioning. In fact I'm beginning to like it, before this everyone in the neighbourhood would be asking me to help with this or that but know they just handle it themselves for which I'm grateful for since I can relax now though that doesn't mean that I don't still help out around the house even without the use of my legs, need to keep these old bones moving." He says smiling and I smile back as I pull out my chair and take a seat next to him, pulling my chair in and taking another look to the oven to see some kind o mix between a pancake and a cake being cooked which must be wheat cakes which look low-key delicious.

What Ben said to me mostly resolved me of all the guilt I felt towards his his current condition as he would most likely be dead and not able to spend this time with his wife and nephew if it wasn't for me though I still feel bad about it but what's still here and thriving more than ever is my sense of defeat and failure as him sitting in his wheelchair is a symbol to me of failure, that I couldn't even save the once person that I actively tried to save. I'm just not cut out to be a hero and I'm not going to be one, this is the the best my moment of heroic fantasy could do and I don't feel like trying again anytime soon...

[AN: I believe that Marvel have stated that the Parker house is actually at 20 Ingram street which I also believe is actually a real place in forest hill queens, nice little fact there.]

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<AN> I now have a Pa treon up and running and when a chapter is ready it will go up on Pa treon first so please take a look. Some support from you guys would be appreciated and motivate me.

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