CHAPTER 75: REFLECTION

"Hey, didn't you say that your internship is going to be in Paris?" Keaton asks suddenly.

He's calling me between his schedules in Paris. It's already been three days since he left. He calls and texts me everyday. Sometimes just to see how I'm doing and sometimes we talk for hours on end. He's very consistent and he's probably doing so to keep with his words on trying to 'woo' me. This adorable guy.

"What about it?" I ask back, nodding even though I know he can't see it but it has become a habit of mine. A stupid one. "Uh huh," I tell him after I realize that.

"There's this really good little cafe not far from where I stay that has really great eclairs," Keaton tells me excitedly.

"Are you there to work or sightsee, Mr. du Bois?" I ask, chuckling, "all I've been hearing about the trip is you going out to eat and shop," I tell him.

"I don't want to bore you by talking about work," he tells me. Look how sweet this adorkable guy is.

"If I'm bored I can just mute you," I tease him and he laughs.

"What about you?" he asks back, "you sound busy," he tells me.

"Pretty busy," I nod again and proceed to tell him about my recent schedule.

I am currently in the middle of helping the student body. We're preparing for the Winter Festival which is to be held one week before winter break, two weeks before christmas, that is.

Unlike the Summer Festival which focuses more on competitions, Winter Festival focuses more on art and culture and charity. Sports competitions will still be held in accordance to the national championships but most of them will take place at national stadiums.

We will have a banquet and a dance on the last day of the festival. And leading up to that are a series of events organized by each department and club. Each department, major and any small organization within the university can choose whatever activities they want to be included in the festival as long as they are within the allocated budget. If they need more, they are urged to collect them themselves, of course.

The art department, including my digital art major, along with the photography club and most of the other art clubs, will hold an exhibition and a charity auction. The theme of the exhibition is of course 'Winter' and anyone can submit their works in any forms to be displayed at the gallery and the uni's website. The starting price is of course determined by our teachers who will also act as our curator.

I've thought long and hard about the piece I want to do since we decided on the theme, I do have some stockpile which will work in line with the theme, but I've decided to paint something, I haven't painted in a while and I feel like the festival is a good time as any to start again.

I tell Keaton all of this as well as my other works around the festival.

"That sounds exhausting to me," Keaton admits.

"I like working," I tell me, "I like being busy and earning money at the same time." I laugh.

"Lee! Your husband's here!" Kimberly shouts from across the room, I roll my eyes at her and turns towards the door where Chuck is hanging around chatting with people. He's picking me up so we can head ro dinner together. I wave at him and tell him to wait as I gather my things. He smiles and waves back and gets back to chatting.

"Husband?" Keaton, on my ear, asks.

"Chuck," I tell him, "It's what people call him. They call Marsha my wife." Right. Haven't told him about our dysfunctional relationships which seems to be the entertainment of the whole uni students.

"Oh," Keaton says.

I stop doing whatever I'm doing because of that 'oh'.

"Keaton, what is that 'oh'?" I ask him. I can't help but smile because he's for once, actually being outright disturbed by my talk about the people here. By my talk about Chuck. This is refreshing.

"It's nothing. Sorry," he says hastily and apologetically.

"Never apologize when you have done nothing wrong," I tell him lightly but also seriously.

"Noted," Keaton saya after a few beats. Perhaps he's surprised by what I said? "Never heard you talk so harshly like that before, " he chuckles, "I quite like it," he adds softly and I, of course, blush.

"Stop flirting," I hiss at him.

"Why? Starting to get swayed?" he teases.

"I gotta go," I roll my eyes at him but still can't bring myself to really scold him.

"Talk to you later," Keaton says, laughing, "don't forget to eat and sleep." he reminds me.

"You too, Mr. du Bois," I tell him.

"I miss you," he adds softly and I stop walking altogether and just stand there probably looking stupid as hell. I can hear Keaton chuckle after a few beats and curse inwardly. "See you, Levi," he says and hangs up.

That guy is dangerous. I conclude finally. Sighing, I start walking again towards Chuck who stares at me questioningly. I greet him with a hug and a peck on both his cheeks before he takes my bag and we walk to F building to meet our friends for dinner.

"How's practice?" I ask him casually, trying to avoid any real conversation as well as the growing awkwardness.

"Brutal," Chuck sighs and I chuckle although I also feel sorry for them. The Winter Championship is always the hardest season for them. Not only because of the growing cold even in fall, but also because The Winter Championship is their key to a successful career as sportsmen. So, double the pressure. My sympathy goes to them. Truly. "Still wanna go get painting supplies tomorrow?" he asks in turn.

"Might have to cancel." I shake my head, feeling apologetic to him who have offered to take me. "Quin wanted me to take pictures of her winter collection," I inform Chuck.

"She done already? That's fast," Chuck says in amazement.

"She'll be graduating in spring so she's been trying to hurry everything along for her final showcase," I tell him. I grin at my other friends as we approach their table, "Greeting fellow humans," and I greet them.

"It's already dinner time and you're still chipper it's not fair," Joy pouts at me and I laugh at her, of course.

"Working is my jam," I tell her half jokingly, half seriously as I go on and kiss everybody's cheeks (even Allen's) before sitting myself between Chuck and Marsha as usual.

The food comes soon after and we eat while talking about the Winter Festival preparation and for once, I don't feel any pain or even guilt whatsoever. This normalcy is good. This normalcy is what I missed the most.

But of course that normalcy only lasts when all of us are present. When it's just me and Allen? Normal is the last thing we have. It wasn't normal when we started this. Now that this has gone this far, I don't even know what's normal anymore.

One thing I do know, though, is that Allen has become even more… dare I say… possessive? Of course he doesn't show it outright in public like normal people in normal circumstances do. But when it's just the two of us? He barely leaves my side. Fucking is one thing, but he keeps looking for me in his spare time and keeps demanding me to go to him or asking if he can come to me. It's as if he has unlocked something in him and has been continuously getting even more unrestrained. Especially when we're having sex.

Don't get me wrong, though. This isn't me complaining. Like I said, I like the pain. I need the pain. But the marks he has been leaving on me look truly terrifying even to me.

I keep telling him to stop leaving so much mark on me and to loosen his grips. But of course he doesn't listen. So I just let him do as he pleases. It's not like anyone is really gonna see them, anyway.

Well, aside from maybe Malik and Keaton.

But I haven't been able to see them. Keaton is still in Paris, and Malik because I have been busy with school work and also the Winter Festival preparations. We text everyday and call each other everyday, though. Even video calls sometimes.

I stare at myself in my bathroom mirror. Me and Allen were just fucking when Joy suddenly called and asked Allen to go pick her up because her car broke down at the club. So Allen left and I came back to my room. And here I am. I think I've been standing here naked for a good fifteen minutes. I have showered and was about to put on my towel when I caught a glimpse of my body in the mirror and the state it's in.

How hideous. The bruises and scratches. How lovely they look on me.

My phone suddenly rings from inside my room, startling me out of my trance. I sigh, grab my towel to cover my lower half and strut back to my room. I grab my phone from the table and stare at the screen.

'Malik is requesting a video call with you'.

"Hey there," I greet him as I pick up the call and his face shows up on my screen.

Malik doesn't answer for the first few seconds as he stares at me. Well, my body. The parts visible from the screen, anyway.

"Wow. your Mr. Bond is truly something, isn't he?" Malik says after a while. His voice bears almost no humor whatsoever but I completely ignore that.

"Quite right." I nod in agreement. I put down my phone on the table as I rummage through my closet and start putting on clothes to spare Malik any more details he sure doesn't need to know. He'll see them himself later anyway. "Whatchu up to?" I ask him.

"Just got off work," Malik says.

"Come get me?" I ask him.

"No morning class tomorrow?"

"Nah. Just one in the afternoon."

"Wait, Keaton's on the line," Malik says and he connects Keaton's call to ours.

"Hi," Keaton greets us once his face pops up on the screen.

"Hi," I greet him and stare at his exhausted face, "Are you okay?"

"Just tired," Keaton says, giving us a small smile.

"You look like shit." Malik's blunt words don't hide his worry, though. How cute.

"Thanks," Keaton laughs, knowing that it's true as well as noticing Malik's concern.

"Is the signing not going well?" I ask, also concerned but also curious.

"Not as well as I had hoped," Keaton admits. He sighs and closes his eyes. "Lumiere, the DJ, said that the salary and benefits we're offering her is very good and as generous as it can be. However, she also said that being an in-house DJ at the club means that she had to move, right? She's still very much reluctant on that part," Keaton tells us.

"Moving across the world is indeed hard," I say slowly, can't help but think of my future move.

"I know," Keaton sighs, "that's why we've been trying to convince her slowly. But also, it's not like she's the only good DJ in the world…" he says slowly.

"But she's the one you want," I smile at him who sighs and nods again.

"That and also she's currently the best indie and unsigned DJ in the world," Malik adds and I stare at him in surprise.

"You know her?" Keaton also asks in surprise.

"Know of her," Malik says, "she's one of the best in her lane and she's young too which is why it's quite weird that she hasn't had a single offer from any label. Not that I know of, at least. But she has been trying to break through. She has great ambition, that one," Malik tells Keaton, who instantly sits up straight and looks deep in thought.

"Go ahead." I chuckle and tell Keaton once he looks up again and looks at us. He smiles at us apologetically.

"Thanks," he says to me. "Thank you for the insight," he tells Malik with a broader and grateful smile before saying goodbye and hanging up.

"You close?" I ask Malik.

"10 minutes," Malik informs me.

I nod and we hang up the phone so I can pack my things before going down to wait for him.