100

It's crazy how the table got turned. I was the one avoiding Emily but now she was the one avoiding me. Making my confused life unbearable no matter how much I tried to hide it.

Pfff! I hate feelings. I should have reasoned with Xavier years ago when he said 'The moment you catch feelings, the moment you get fucked'.

Well, I am fucked!

I sat at my desk trying to think of how to get her to talk to me. The closing bell already rang but I needed a moment to think. I stood up and grabbed my jacket and bag from the chair. I walked out of the class and headed to the hallway.

When I got there, Emily wasn't there. I wondered where she would have gone. Emily was always quick to go home so whenever the bell rang she was always ready to leave.

"Please no drama" I muffled "Please just not now".

I stood there waiting for her but she wasn't showing up. I turned to the other side of the hallway and found her with James. A lump formed in my throat as I saw James pulling her into a fatherly hug.

"Yep!" I said popping the 'p'

"Just when I thought it would get better".

I can't tell why I felt so scared. While I suddenly want to know what they were talking as their mouth kept moving inaudible.

What if he told Emily I was only doing this because I was paid to? It would break her to know she was playing with. I love Emily and it wasn't part of his plan. I mean, I didn't pretend to love her as a way of getting paid.

'Who does that?'

I stood there hoping she'd see me and at least wave at me but she didn't. I picked up my phone and texted her. I apologized via text and pressed the send button.

I watched her reach for her phone from her pocket and read the text. I was waiting patiently for her reply. Gosh! She didn't hesitate to type back.

My phone buzzed in my hands and I looked at the phone. She sent three love emojis and shoved the phone back into her pocket.

Odd.

Is that how nerd girls accept apologizes?

I was about to text again when her text came in.

Emily: Won't you ask me to be your girlfriend?

I read the text and felt a lump in my throat. I raised my head and she turned her face in my direction. Her eyes held mine for a second and I quickly turned away because I didn't want her to see I was texting her while seeing her.

Why am I feeling shy all of a sudden?

Emily made me feel different emotions and no one ever made me feel scared to love. I was scared of love, scared to love and above all, I was scared I was already in love with her.

My phone kept lettering and it was Emily sending short texts. I didn't stop to read any of them, I was nervous and needed to get out of the building.

Emily: I'm sorry for asking you...

I read the last text and guilt flushed over me. No, she shouldn't be sorry. It wasn't wrong to as but I just couldn't afford to hurt her. No matter how hard I tried to hide it, she would find out one day that I was paid to make her fall in love with me and supposedly act like I was in love with her.

It would break her and she would hate me. I couldn't imagine what would happen then so I thought it was better to end it now. It would be better if the feelings she had for me ended now so I wouldn't have to be the one to hurt her when she finds out the truth.

I stood in the restroom thinking. It was a shitty thing to do but I had no option. I rinsed my face and poured some water into my mouth to rinse my mouth.

I wanted to call her but I stopped myself. She was still sending texts but I wasn't going to reply or return her calls. I scrolled through my contacts, I needed to know if there was any fight tonight.

I needed something to distract me from Emily and fighting was the only option.

"There's a fight against Barbaz, 4 pm."

"I'll be there, can you keep that slot for me?"

"Sure man."

"Thanks," I said and the call disconnected.

Since I got the slot, I needed to get ready for the fight, It was barely two hours away.

I usually have this dark feeling and hopefully, no one would remember to piss me up after the fight. Everything just seem to always end there and I am grateful.

I returned home and changed into a black T-shirt and black trousers. I was going to take off the shirt when it was time to fight but I loved wearing black there.

I turn my face as another session of cheers rings through the tunnels. The man I was supposed to fight climbed up and he reached for his shirt and pulled it off. He tugged it over his head and threw it to the floor.

'Pffff' I scoffed 'Show off'.

I didn't feel anything, there was no feeling of intimidation because I've fought men bigger than Babarz.

He walked toward me and I swiftly startle to the right. I felt a wave of wind blow across my cheek as I dodge his fist. I didn't see that coming since I thought he was warming up.

I threw a fist at him and when he bent to recover, I kicked him and kept throwing my fist.

A quick cheer filled the tunnel. Babarz was already bleeding and he was on the floor. When the referee raised my hand as the winner a small smile crept on my lips.

I walked out of the ring and headed to claim my money. I was tossed some bucks and I ordered a distilled whiskey. I took a stick of cigarette from one of the men and placed it on my lip. I lit it and puffed out the smoke in the air.

I kept drinking and smoking till a familiar feeling flooded me.

Emily.

I needed to see Emily. I kept drinking but the more I drank, the more I yearned for her. I stood up and paid for my drinks. I staggered but still had control over myself, I could get to Xavier's house.

I headed to Xavier's house but stopped when I saw James' car parked on the freeway. Was he up to something? I traced him to the backdoor where I saw him with Emily.

I got curious to find out what was happening so I remained by the garage and kept looking. I couldn't hear them because they talked in low tones and I was far so I just looked on, trying to decipher what they were saying.

He handed Emily a box of makeup and she smiled. Was he the one giving her all those weird things she applied to her face? Emily was beautiful as hell without those things but it was a girly thing and I understand the need to own them.

James tugged a strand of her head backward and he said a few things she nodded to. Was he assuring her of anything?

Probably to give her the best life.