Fleas are the Worst

Zheng Tan shook off the water and shooed the parrot away. He found his hidden access card and key from the hiding spot on the tree, then trotted down the road toward the Jiao house.

He jumped up and swiped his access card before running all the way up to the fifth floor.

Because it was an old building, many households still had security doors. The Jiao family was one of them. It was just that their door was broken. The building had good security, and they lived on a higher floor, so they never bothered to fix the door. They were satisfied with just a simple wooden door.

The metal security door was left wide open so as to not block the corridor. It was old and slightly rusty.

Zheng Tan jumped on a grid of the metal door. He held on tight to side and kicked the wall. The metal door carried him towards the actual door, its rusty hinges creaking all the way.

When Zheng Tan was close enough to insert the key, the door swung open from the inside.

Last night, Yi Xin was using Professor Jiao's computer to write his paper. He fell asleep on the sofa at dawn and only woke up to use the washroom. When he was stumbling back to the sofa, he heard a sound at the door. He was immediately wide awake. He rushed to open the door without even putting on his shoes. The boss mentioned the door creaking whenever his cat returned.

Yi Xin hadn’t yet figured out the link between the boss’s cat coming back and the security door creaking, so he was in for a surprise when he opened the door. Right in front of him, a black cat was dangling from the metal door by a leg and a paw, with a key in its mouth. He froze.

Zheng Tan did not expect to find anyone here either. The person looked familiar, too.

Zheng Tan was trying to remember who this person was, and Yi Xin was still too shocked to move. For a moment, a person and a cat just kept staring at each other.

Finally, Zheng Tan remembered. During one of his secret visits to the office, Papa Jiao had mentioned to him that this person was Yi Xin. At the time, he was overseeing a lab session for some undergrads. He was with a few grad students, carrying boxes of chemicals to the public laboratory, while Papa Jiao and Zheng Tan watched him through the office window.

Since the identity of this person was now confirmed, Zheng Tan didn’t care about him appearing here anymore. He certainly had Papa Jiao’s approval, and that was trustworthy enough for Zheng Tan.

He hopped down from the door and headed straight to the sofa.

Yi Xin had moved all the snacks to a nearby chair. Zheng Tan counted the items, feeling satisfied that nothing was missing.

Yi Xin was still standing at the door. Although he was starting to recover from the scene he saw after opening the door, but what he was about to witness sent him into shock once again.

When he had called Papa Jiao yesterday, he was told not to touch the food on the couch. If he was hungry, he could have the snacks kept in the second cupboard in the kitchen. But the ones on the sofa were to be left untouched.

He didn’t quite understand on the phone. Now he did. The cat was nodding at the packs of snacks. That was him counting them, right?

Zheng Tan ignored Yi Xin. He was hungry. He bit off the packaging of a pack of pudding and started eating.

Yi Xin felt his face twitching in disbelief as he watched a cat lay on the sofa, eating pudding. He nudged into the bedroom to call the boss.

Zheng Tan listened to the sounds coming from the bedroom.

“Oh…oh…” Yi Xin agreed and nodded twice then he switched on speaker. Papa Jiao’s voice came through the telephone: "Charcoal! Make a sound.”

Zheng Tan: "Wa woo!”

Yi Xin: "... " That was a unique answer.

"You sound well." Papa Jiao was satisfied. He told Yi Xin to put him off speaker to make a few more requirements.

Yi Xin was answering the phone respectfully, but he was, in truth, feeling like there was nothing he could do. After the phone call, he went into the kitchen to boil some water. He then took out a white, plastic basin.

In the past, Yi Xin heard that it was best to pick a mentor with older children and no pets. Or else, he would be tasked with occasionally taking care of the kid or the pet. At the time, he thought people were only joking. Now, he realized that they were spelling out his fate. He hadn’t had to take care of the kids yet, but the pet…

He rinsed the basin. As he was adjusting the water temperature, he wondered that he was going to be pet-sitting a lot in the future. Maybe he should ask for a raise when the boss returned.

Zheng Tan went into the bathroom; looked at the basin of water then delicately tested the water with a paw. It was just right. Just what he would expect from someone in academia.

Zheng Tan inspected the shampoo, the towels folded nicely next to the basin and the hairdryer, then happily jumped into the basin. He ruffled the fur on the top of his head, then closed his eyes enjoying this bath with his chin on the edge of the basin.

Yi Xin felt like his world was turning upside down. He had seen relatives attempting to bathe their pet cats before. It always ended with their arms being scratched bloody. This was his first time seeing a cat enjoy a bath.

No wonder this was…boss Jiao’s cat.

Zheng Tan felt the water cool down. He was ready to get out when he saw a bug the size of a sesame seed floating in the water. Its legs were still moving.

Against the white plastic, the small insect was quite eye-catching.

Outside by the door, Yi Xin was looking at the time. He could guess the water temperature without a thermometer. He was wondering why the cat wasn’t coming out so he took a peek. The cat was staring at the basin with wide eyes.

What was the matter now? Yi Xin recalled Papa Jiao’s instructions. He did everything he was told to do. He went over timidly to have a closer look. The bug in the water soon caught his eye.

Yi Xin was an expert at picking out bacterial colonies. This was naturally not going to escape his eyes.

Damn! Fleas!

What were you supposed to do with fleas?

Kill them!

Then what?

No idea.

Yi Xin was out of ideas, so he decided to call Professor Jiao. Five minutes later, Yi Xin opened a cabinet. Inside it were some household chemicals, including two bottles of pesticides. One was a bottle of a well-known brand of parathyroid insecticide; the other was unlabeled.

The latter was what he wanted. This was probably the product of a pesticide research program led by the bio and the chemistry department. At this stage, only some insiders had access to it.

Yi Xin sprayed some around the house like he was told. As for the cat, another bath was unavoidable.

Catching fleas was the worst. There were some in the grass around the residential quarter, but Zheng Tan had managed to avoid getting infected so far. Who knew that he would get fleas from his trip? Must have been the thick shrubs in the suburbs.

Whenever a flea appeared in the water, Zheng Tan squashed it with his claws. He was not letting go even those that appeared to have drowned already. It took him two hours before he could come out. He dried off by rolling on a towel.

Yi Xin helped blow-dry the cat.

"Charcoal, Papa Jiao said we would be out of insecticide soon. He told you...told you to find some and to get some ointment for yourself while you were on your way.”

Yi Xin didn’t know why the boss had said that. He was told to just follow the cat.

He wept a little inside for himself. Who knew taking care of a pet was harder than writing a paper.

After he was dried off, Zheng Tan shook his fur. He went to the door and looked back at Yi Xin.

Yi Xin remembered his instructions. He quickly put down the hair dryer, picked up his keys and opened the door.

Zheng Tan lead the way in front, Yi Xin followed behind.

Yi Xin was full of doubt but there was no point in asking a cat. So he kept his discomfort to himself.

Zheng Tan went down two floors, stopping in front of an apartment on the third floor.

"Here? I’ll ask ... I suppose"

Before Yi Xin could muster up the courage to knock, Zheng Tan jumped up. He slammed the door like smashing a volleyball.

"Bang!"

Yi Xin felt his hair stand on end. He didn’t know who lived here, but knew well enough that people living in the eastern quarter were mostly faculty with seniority— otherwise known as people he could not afford to offend.

Yi Xin started drawing up a list in his mind. He only hoped that the resident of this place was not someone on this list!

Zheng Tan paid no regard to Yi Xin’s fears. He smacked the door two more times. Every time louder than the last.

Someone finally answered.

"Coming! Do you think I’m deaf? Why knock three times?"

The voice belonged to an old man and was familiar. Yi Xin was getting nervous.

The door opened, revealing a harsh face covered in wrinkles.

Yi Xin’s heart sank.

"Pro…Professor La…La…Lan!"

Yi Xin stared at the man at the door with the stern look. His first instinct was to run.

Unfortunately, Zheng Tan once again ignored Yi Xin. He marched right in. He was not afraid of this old man, he owed him a favor.

The house was sparsely furnished. The floor still had water stains.

Zheng Tan had just had a bath. Though his body was blow-dried, the fur on his paws was still damp. HIs paws were muddy after coming down the stairs, leaving little paw prints on the floor as he walked in.

"Little bastard! I just mopped!" Professor Lan cursed.

Zheng Tan pretended not to hear him.

Professor Lan stared at the cat waltzing into his house, then looked down at the paw prints on his floor. Eventually, he turned to Yi Xin: "You’ll wipe this clean!”

Yi Xin: "..."

God, he hated cats.