Saffran's POV

SAFFRAN'S

POV

Both Alex

and Bryce are utterly shocked. Well I expected that. They are not saying

anything. Bryce is gaping at me like a fish out of water. It's funny.

"Well..."

Alex mutters breaking Bryce's trance too. "You guys can hate me all you want."

I say nonchalantly. I deserve their hatred. "But you leaked the photos of him?"

Bryce asks finally. "No. After Norman confessed me next day he came to my house

at evening. I was so scared and frustrated that I only kept glaring at him.

When he saw Jess behind me in underwear he ran away. After that Jess took my

phone to call her mom." "Are you that stupid?" Alex says and I know what he is thinking.

But um afraid to think it out loud. "Jess leaked those photos!" I sigh. "I

know. But I don't have any evidence and she'll deny me anyway. Nobody even

believe me and everybody is concerned with the photos not who leaked them." Alex

groans.

"I f*cked up

real bad." They both deadpans at me. "Well you did. But have you ever tried to

apologize to Norman?" I shake my head. Apologize. Hah. Norman doesn't even wait

to look at my face. He loathes me to an extreme level. How can I face him after

all that. When I tried to talk with him after he left the soccer team he told

me that I'm dead to him.

"I tried to

talk with him. And he told me that I'm.....dead to him." "Wow." We all stay

silent for some minutes. Both Alex and Bryce gets message notifications. It's

been a week since I've touched my phone except taking calls. Cause if I see

through messenger Norman's account pains me. "What is this" Bryce counfusedly mutters. Even Alex has a weird expression. I feel scared. Is Norman okay?

"Dude look

at this." Alex holds his phone in front of me. 

I take the phone and see what's on it. I see a video of our cafeteria.

At Norman's table an Asian guy is towering a girl. I know the girl. I slept

with her once. Norman looks so tense. I quickly turn on the volume so I can

hear.

"And you

fell for that cause I wanted a quick f*ck." I hear Jeromy's voice. What's he

doing? Is he bullying Norman again? "Are you insulting girls now? Just for this

dirty 'fatherless fag'?" My mind becomes numb. They are using my word against

Norman? Oh my god. I take a sharp breath. The video is long. I don't dare to

look more. I quickly turn off the phone. I don't have the courage to look at Norman's

expression. What have I done? What the f*ck have I done?!

"Shit!

Saffran you're panicking!" Bryce shakes my body. It's hard to breath. I feel

like someone punctured my lungs. My mouth is wide open and my vision is

becoming blurry. "Saffran! Relax. It's okay. We'll talk to Norman. He'll

forgive you eventually." Alex says but I can't seem to believe it.

"Listen.

When I say inhale you do it right?" I nod. "Relax and take a breath." I do. With

so much self power. "Good. Now exhale slowly." I obey. "Inhale again." I feel

my breathing pattern becoming normal. Alex wipes the tears from my eyes. Bryce

is rubbing my back.

"Does Norman

know about the pregnancy?" I ask Alex tiredly. Alex nods. Dread fills me. He

knows. He'll now do everything he can do avoid me. "His reaction was...." Alex grimaces.

"The moment I uttered Jess is pregnant he rushed to the toilet. I didn't even notice

that I was at their table and said that out so loud.....I'm sorry." It's not

his fault. I've no energy to even be mad at him. "It's okay." "So what's your

plan now?" Bryce asks me. I shrug. "Mom told me to call Jess to stay with me. I

think if I say her no she'll kick me out of the house." "I also think you should

take responsibility. You can't leave a woman with an unborn baby all by

herself." I chuckle at Alex's words. He's talking like a mother now.

"Fine. I

don't have a choice then. But I can't bear Norman hating me. It's eating me

alive. I miss him so much." I whine. "Do you like him romantically?" "I...I

don't know. Wait aren't you guys bothered that I f*cked a guy?" Alex sighs and

Bryce snorts. "Man you already f*cked him and now you're miserable just cause

he hates you. Are you sure you don't like him like that? And we don't care bout

you f*cking Norman. He is such a 'babe' in his own form." Bryce got a point.

But I'm scared. Scared to admit those feelings for a boy. If my mom knows about

it she'll kill me with her own hands. She is a freaking homophobe.

"Okay maybe

I do like him. But if my mom knows about it she'll rip me to shreds. She's a homophobe."

I tell them frustrated. It's so evident I like Norman a lot. But the mere

thought of a committed relationship with him looks like a bad idea. But I won't

do what my stupid brain tells me. For those conflicted thoughts I've pushed

Norman away form me far enough. Now I'll only follow my heart.

"She won't

know. And you guys won't be all over each other any time soon so nobody will

actually doubt. Also.....the words you've told him are enough for people to

think how much you hate him." A pang of guilt and pain hits my heart. If only I

could take those words back.

"Then what

should I do? I want him to stop hating me." I'm so desperate it's frustrating.

"If you

actually like him then the first thing you should do is properly apologize. And

if he doesn't get fazed try begging on your knees." Well I can do that. He is

more important than my stupid ego. That's what my heart tells.

"But he doesn't

even stand for 2 seconds in front of me. How'll I talk to him properly?"

"I've an

idea!" Bryce chimes.

.....

Jess arrives

as I told her with all her luggage at night. She packed so much as if she'll

actually stay here forever. Maybe that's what she's been thinking. I can't

despise a girl as much as her. "Oh you're here! Saffran, take her things to

your room." Yeah this b*tch is staying in my room. I've already argued with mom

about that but as usual I didn't win. Reluctantly I take her luggage and motion

her to follow me. She follows me quietly with a smile.

I don't say

her anything as I put the thingz and opens my closet to take clothes. "What're

you doing?" She asks me when she sees I'm taking clothes and creams. "You

actually think that I'll stay with 'you' in the same room?" She looks

surprised. "I'm going to sleep in the guest room. You can do whatever you

want." Her expression morphs into something unsightly. "Well do that and I'll

tell-" I laugh like a maniac. "Tell who? Mom? Do it and I'll leave for my dad.

I'm not afraid of my mom nor you." She shuts up, lips pressed into a thin line.

When I'm about

to leave she speaks up. "Why?" I turn around. "You used to like me so much back

then. You stood up for me whenever someone insulted me. The steamy nights used

to leave you begging for more." I chuckle at her exaggeration. 'Norman' left me

begging for more not this b*tch.

"What

changed you?"

Norman.