Chapter 7: Exploring an Option

To my concerned guest reviewer: don't worry! I made Artemis II a Squib because if he had magic, he would have gotten a letter before his first year and his life may have been too different. He WILL BE INVOLVED, though, so never fear ;)! A mastermind has his ways, after all.

CHAPTER 7: EXPLORING AN OPTION

The Fowls entered O'Donnell Secondary School, and the first thing to hit them was a wall full of giant, neon yellow bees smiling and holding a banner stating "The busy bee gathers the honey".

Bees don't gather honey, Myles thought, and they look nothing like that! He could hear Beckett snickering next to him, but he was just annoyed. "Do all schools look like this?" he whispered. The air smelled as far from fresh as possible, and Myles could see chewed gum hidden in almost every corner, nearly black with dirt.

"Ooh, snacks!" Beckett noticed the gum, too.

"Ew, Beck!" Myles cringed, "Disgusting!"

"What? I was kidding!" he laughed. "But I can always shove it in your face."

"Remember, you two," Artemis reminded them, "Mother wants us on our best behavior." He had volunteered to bring them to this place for a tour while their parents arranged for a flight to Southeast Asia.

By the time they reached the front desk, a professionally dressed lady came out to greet the Fowl brothers. After going through the formalities, the vice principal—Ms. Dana Dandy, apparently—charged towards her prey with a forced smile.

"And these must be your sons," Dana gushed. "They're simply adorable! You know," she glanced up at their brother, "we have plenty of job opportunities for young men like you, if you'd like to stay with them."

Is she crazy? Myles was a little miffed, He's not nearly old enough to be our dad, and he'd never work in a place like this!

"We are not adorable," Beckett mumbled indignantly, half to himself.

"Firstly," Artemis's tolerance slipped, "these are my younger brothers. They are not my offspring, and they are not here for your viewing pleasure; furthermore, I would not consider 'adorable' a compliment from you, seeing as those ridiculously inaccurate bumblebees on the wall must fit your perception of 'adorable'. As for those job opportunities," here he smiled a cold, sickly sweet smile. "Perhaps you would like to rescind your offer now?" Dana's face went pale, and her eyes looked watery. It was enough to make Myles feel bad for her. Was this the infamous vampire effect? He had to admit, he was stuck between awestruck and horrified.

Awesome, was what came to mind.

"It's okay, ma'am," Beckett reached out to comfort her, "he's got that effect on people. How about we see the lunchroom first?"

Dana nodded and blinked back the tears, but as they all moved out of the main lobby, Myles noticed she gravitated closer to Beckett like he was a curly-haired angel who'd protect her from the scary demon of night. Myles smiled as he drifted behind with Artemis. Both his brothers had such awesome powers.

If only the same could be true of the cafeteria: it was a bit on the bland side of décor. Bluish floors, grey walls, and tables the same colour as the floor. It felt like a prison.

"This is our cafeteria, where we serve all kinds of food to our students."

"D' you have espresso?" both the twins inquired simultaneously. They both liked espresso, especially Beckett. According to family lore, Beckett got Myles to try it at age five after sneaking it himself for a year.

"N-no, we don't. Most kids your age don't drink that."

"As they shouldn't," Artemis chimed in, "we can tell when these two have because they end up hyperactive and sleep deprived."

"How about treacle?" Beckett ignored their brother's subtle mini-lecture.

"If we're serving pancakes or French toast, yes."

"Just add espresso, and you'll have everything!" Beckett said like it was the perfect formula for success.

"Menu selections aside," Artemis decided to wrap this up, "shall we continue, Ms. Dandy?"

A wide-eyed Dana only nodded. The poor woman didn't seem to know who to trust anymore: the soul-eating young man or the crazy boy who thought treacle and espresso were everything a school cafeteria needed.

The rest of the tour was uneventful and boring beyond measure. The classrooms were dull, the textbooks Myles skimmed through were unimpressive even for Beckett, and the atmosphere was stale.

"Think we can handle that for days on end?" Myles whispered to Beckett in the back seats of the limo on their way home. They made Artemis sit up front so they could have a 'twin conference' as they called it.

"No way," Beckett responded in kind, "not without, like, ten shots of espresso." It was boring enough going through Artemis's lessons, but the thought of a class where the teacher was someone they had to respect was too much!

They continued discussing the matter on the ride home. That evening at dinner, the boys ate their meal silently. Upon finishing, they set aside their plates, and Myles steepled his fingers, resting his elbows on the table. Taking the cue, Beckett assumed a Butler-esque position in his seat. It wasn't necessary, but they both agreed it looked pretty cool whenever they did this.

"So, about your proposal," Myles looked directly at their father, midnight gazes meeting in the middle of the family table.

"Whatever you truly want, sons, I'll support you." That did it. The twins' hardcore business personas crumbled at their father's kind voice. They breathed in, gathering themselves for what could be the biggest decision they've made in their lives. The next thing they said was in unison:

"We'll take our chances at Hogwarts."

Irish schools…after figuring out approximately what year the twins would be in, I decided to make them incoming first-years at a secondary school because it makes sense their parents would begin sending them to normal school at the start of a new level of education rather than the end of primary school. As for the name "O'Donnell" I took it from O'Connell Secondary School in Ireland. As for the description of it, I know NOTHING about the real school, or what a school in Ireland typically looks like…so I came up with my own little stereotype of schools in general! Of all the elements, this is the one I worried about most. Thankfully, this is likely the only chapter in an Irish school :P.

Espresso and treacle: Artemis Fowl fans may or may not remember this, but at some point Beckett downs several spoonfuls of a mixture of these two things before it gets taken from him, and he couldn't sleep for a long time afterwards. I just wanted to make it so he at least got Myles to try espresso at some point because fun sibling influences XD! Mixing it with treacle, though…that's still just his special quirk.

Vampire: I always LOVED IT when Artemis terrified the living wits out of people in the series, and I must say it was so fun for me to write his exchange with Dana Dandy. Yay! I might get addicted to it, but I mustn't use it too often (or it may lose its effect).

I own neither Artemis Fowl nor Harry Potter, though Dana Dandy is my minor OC (a.k.a. the blip you might never see again).