Why you do this?

My name is Ryan. Nerd, Author, Legend. You name it. My time is usually spent on a novel app on my phone updating books for my many readers or playing old school games doing grinds for Levels, Gold, Items, the works. I wouldn't say I haven't spent a week at a time grinding out a single piece of armor or hunting down a boss. I love the thrill of a grind. I also love reading books, magic, fantasy, adventure, cultivation, harem.

Recently however do to my sister being a total bitch and some other circumstances my phone was cut off leaving me with far too much free time to read up on old books or slow down in my writing.

I had also been playing some games I had stashed away in the closet. Old school fantasy games that were well made not the crap people can beat in like an hour I'm talking 4 disc monsters with like 100+ hours of good Ole adventure.

After a late night of grinding I had dozed off and suddenly felt strange. Opening up my eyes I found myself in a round room being stared at by a strange floating cloud.

"Congratulations your going to be reincarnated/transmigrated!" suddenly a bunch of party poppers and fireworks explode and a big banner drops from the sky saying 'Congratulations you died!' in bright red letters.

"Ah shit, I died?" I say with a frown.

"You died in the most spectacular way! You see due to you taking a break from writing for so long some of your more dedicated fans made a shrine and prayed for your return. This in turn allowed them to be granted a wish which let them use high level magic. Meteor." the cloud says happily.

I just gawk for a second. "Those little bastards! It's only been a couple of months! I stop writing due to some stuff out of my control and those little shits kill me off with a meteor?!?! How am I even going to write for then now." I shout in rage stomping around.

"Well there is some magic at work so all of this is being recorded live. Also It's very lucky! Your computer and phone were destroyed so no one can see your Internet history..." the cloud being says as I cover his mouth and make a hissing noise.

"Shhhhh!" I say with narrowed eyes.

"Well anyway for being worshiped to actual death, you've been given 10 lucky SSS rank lottery coins yay!" the cloud says firing off some party poppers.

"Okay? Well first am I going to be keeping my memories?" I ask.

"Yes. You will be keeping your memories." The cloud says.

I nod happily at least that is a thing.

A strange looking gumball machine appears and I'm given 10 coins.

Inside the machine are a bunch of eggs with different items or notes or even drops of blood in them.

Eagerly I put in my first coin and twist the little nob.

*Crank Crank Plop.*

Out rolls a little egg I quickly open.

Inside is a little golden key and a vault.

"Congratulations you've received Gate of Babylon. However this version is empty it can still do auto repair, auto retrieve and the other functions but you have to fill it yourself." the cloud shouts as fireworks explode in the background.

"A cheat like item right off the bat?" I mutter as the gate vanishes.

I insert the next coin and twist the nob again. *Crank Crank Plop.* the second egg rolls out.

I open up the second egg.

Inside is a strange strange looking marble.

"Congratulations on receiving the sky poison pearl!" the cloud does some kind of backflip.

"What the hell? Why would I need another storage item? Basically the only thing I could use this for is healing poison or making medicines?" I ask. "Is this lottery shit rigged or something?"

"It runs on the prayers of your fan base!" the cloud like being nods as the white pearl vanished.

"Ah fuck me. Those little bastards are trolls the whole lot of them!" I shout as I insert the third coin into the machine. *Crank Crank Plop*

Opening it there is a brown crispy looking seed.

Fireworks explode in the background again. "Congratulations you've received a bacon tree seed! You really are lucky." the cloud shouts.

"Ugh how is this even classified as a SSS Class item? Still free bacon I suppose." I groan.

"Exactly!"

The bacon tree seed vanishes while I'm thinking.

I just insert the fourth coin into the machine.

*Crank Crank Plop.*

Inside appears to be a yin yang amulet.

"Congratulation on receiving the immortal jade pavilion!" The cloud screams in excitement as there is a round of applause from the air.

"Aww cmon! That's just an internal world used for training I can't even fucking bring others inside with me. What the fuck guys?!?!" I shout unhappily. Is this them trying to limit the harem? Impossible!

I narrow my eyes and insert the 5th coin and twist the nob.

*Crank Crank Plop*

Opening the egg it appears to contain a body?

"Congratulations on gaining a source body with this you can cultivate any type of energy easily." The cloud shouts once more.

"I should have gotten that for free anyway. Fucking cheap bastards." I grumble inserting the next coin.

*Crank Crank Plop.*

Opening up the egg there appears to be a black box.

"Congratulations on gaining your own world travel system! The only abilities it has are inventory, a locked world travel system, and the ability to turn off your abilities." the cloud says shooting off a party popper.

"Aww cmon man why do I need another inventory why can't you just give me a shop or something?! I already have like 3 inventory items already!!" I shout as the little black box dissapears.

The cloud nods sagely. "Because your a fucking cheater and you would abuse the system."

"Touchè." I reply.

I set the seventh coin in the machine slot and Crank the little nob. *Crank Crank Plop!*

Opening the egg there appears to be a little green dog.

"Congratulations you have gained GIR." the cloud shouts.

"Well the fans always loved Gir." I say with a nod of my head.

"Be warned however all weapon systems have been locked until further notice for Gir." The cloud says bursting my bubble.

"But then all he does is act cute and eat?!!?" I shout unhappily.

"He will be allowed into the jade immortal realm." the cloud adds.