Windy Day

"I am leaving."

"Be careful on the road..."

The sound of leather shoes on the ground gradually faded, and the apartment was suddenly enveloped in silence. Sayu, seated on the ground, used one hand to prop herself against the door as she slowly stood up.

"…it is good."

She murmured softly, returning from the entryway to the living room, where she began to gather the breakfast utensils from the table, preparing to take them to the kitchen for cleaning.

Washing dishes after breakfast had become her routine since Kato Yusuke left for the day.

The water flowed from the tap, its coolness helping to clear Sayu's thoughts.

The "ding ding ding dong" of the dishes echoed in the sink, the crisp sound providing a small comfort to her solitude.

Since there was no room for the dishes to air dry, Sayu immediately dried off the water droplets after washing.

By the time she finished, about ten minutes had passed.

It takes about ten minutes to walk to the nearest station from here. Has Yusuke already boarded the train? That would mean just one stop to his school.

Thinking about this, Sayu couldn't help but smile to herself.

"What if he has gotten on the train?"

'Talking to myself becomes so frequent when Yusuke isn't home. The silence amplifies my loneliness.'

"By the way, Yusuke mentioned we could go out to eat together; is this a date…?"

Sayu murmured, her cheeks flushing as her heart raced a little faster.

"Haaa…"

She let out a soft sigh, and her hand movements paused briefly.

Here we go again.

"I'm thinking about Yusuke again."

Sayu whispered after realizing her thoughts, placing the dried dishes into the cabinet. She then scoffed lightly.

It had been twenty days since she left home. With the money given by her brother and the thought of "just staying away from that home," she had wandered from hotel to hotel, from Hokkaido to Tokyo.

Until the last penny was spent.

The memory of a canned coffee and a vaguely remembered middle-aged man who had struck up a conversation remained clear in her mind.

There is no unprovoked kindness, nor unprovoked malice.

Despite knowing she was a "high school girl," that middle-aged man still invited her, a societal time bomb, to his home, likely relishing her identity as JK.

Sayu thought indifferently: "What was I feeling at that time…?"

Anxious, helpless, Scared.

Then, miraculously, she met Yusuke.

"What an incredible person… Even though he's two years younger, he feels mature and reliable."

"To take me in so easily, just for a casual reason like 'helping with housework'…"

"I really don't understand…"

'I'm a vibrant high school girl, and though it might not seem right to say, I think I'm quite attractive. It's not boasting; it's just a fact.'

"Could he perhaps have… that kind of thought…?"

After voicing this, Sayu's mood became inexplicably somber.

'Why?'

She couldn't understand this unfamiliar unease.

Kato Yusuke's absence always felt prolonged, and chores like housework were quickly completed.

All that was left was to wait for someone to come home.

The manga magazine he had bought her, though slowly read, was finished within a few days. More than the content, knowing that Yusuke had bought it for her brought her joy.

Time spent with Yusuke made her feel at ease and comfortable.

But once she felt comforted, fear set in.

(How can I be so content here? What do I offer Yusuke? I don't understand at all.)

Sayu even considered that being needed in a straightforward way might be easier. She also harbored a slight hope of such a connection with Kato Yusuke.

Sayu didn't understand why she felt this way, but it was clear Yusuke had never crossed any boundaries.

"Hey…I am relieved, yet I feel uneasy. I am uneasy, yet I feel warmth."

She wiped the table with a wrung-out rag, sighing deeply.

"How long can I stay here?"

She murmured, sitting on the bed, her soft form causing the mattress to shift.

(When it becomes inconvenient, will Yusuke choose to let me go?)

Perhaps if he had a girlfriend...

Her mind wandered to the blue shirt in the washing machine from the night before.

And the faint floral scent on it.

Thinking of this, Sayu felt an inexplicable pang of pain, as if her heart was being squeezed.

"After all, Yusuke is so gentle."

Sayu had no doubts that girls would be attracted to him.

And if a girl confessed to Yusuke, and he accepted…

Then undoubtedly, her own presence would become an obstacle.

Sayu considered this reality.

In her view, even high school students in relationships often visited each other's homes, especially if the boy lived alone it was natural to invite her over.

'If that happens, there's no room for me.'

A boyfriend and a girl not related by blood living under the same roof all the time would be too much for any girlfriend to accept.

"Haha, if he gets a girlfriend, no matter what, I'll have to leave."

Sayu chuckled awkwardly, the cascade of negative thoughts triggering more unwelcome imaginings.

The delusional images flashed in her mind, tightening her insides.

"If Yusuke and a girl I don't know got caught in a relationship."

Just the thought soured her mood.

"It has nothing to do with me."

"Even if Yusuke does have a girlfriend, that's his choice."

"It's normal to date."

She attempted to rationalize with herself.

But the more she thought about it, the more disheartened she felt.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…"

She collapsed on the bed, the discomfort in her stomach causing her to curl up.

The loneliness and negative feelings she had never known before formed a vortex that almost consumed her.

"Yusuke… please come back soon."

Whispering his name as if seeking solace, Sayu gradually drifted into sleep.

---------------

Support me here and get up to 25 chapters early patreon.com/MuddyTL