The date

To say that Joss was nervous about his first date would be to say the least on the subject. The thing that terrified him the most when he woke up on the morning of his first date, was the fact that he had a girlfriend. Then he remembered that she wasn't human. And that she wanted to have his children. "Oh god, what the hell was I thinking" he thought to himself "well it's not like I can back out now, plus it can't be that bad can it?". He then proceeded to pick up his phone to check the time, only to find its screen acting up. "Human male… can you hear me male one" the phone yelled at Joss startling him into dropping it down onto his bed. "A-are you speaking to me?"

"Yes, of course who else would I be speaking to, you primitive thing!" The phone then rose up off the bed and began floating in midair displaying a quite obvious image of another one of Xyraes species although he could not see her face very well. "My name is General Zenithia. I am the highest ranking official on this mission to earth (barring Miss Xyrae)" the figure on the phone said 

"Oh, you're Xyraes second in command?" Joss asked

"Correct" she replied "I have broken through your phones feeble security system in order to see the male that her majesty has chosen to breed with. I am unimpressed by her choice." 

"Oi, I'm not that bad am I?" 

"SILENCE YOURSELF LESSER SPECIES!" Joss jumped back fearing for his life "I did not mean her choice of you as her mate (although you are quite unsightly) I meant this whole depraved expedition to this ridiculous rock. As far as I'm concerned we should have taken your reproductive organ by force and extracted what we needed that way, and even then the very idea of having the genetic information of another placed inside my deepest parts…" she make a noise similar to gagging "I however have little say in the matter. Her majesty seems to view that scum of an informational specialist, Madam Lirixa, in exceptionally high regard."

"If you have no say in the matter, then why contact me" Joss asked. The General sighed "I cannot directly oppose her majesty's orders without opposing her power. Doing so would result in mortal combat between me and a champion of her majesty's choosing. Even if I was to win I would be shunned by all of my peers and I would no longer have the respect of my ranks. This is law, which is why I am asking you to not go along with building these relations between you and Miss Xyrae." 

"What if I was to decline your request?"

"Then I would be unable to stop you. Her majesty's word is law on this mission"

"Then I would like to decline" Joss had been thinking while the General was talking. He realised a couple of things: 1. What kind of space lover would he be to turn down the chance at being around actual advanced alien life, 2. Xyrae was the first girl he actually found attractive.

"INSOLENT WRE…" she gritted her teeth "fine then, if that is your decision whelp, so be it" the phone fell to the bed and the screen returned to Joss' normal lock screen…

After his experience involving General Zenethia, Joss near enough ran to meet with Xyrae. She was already waiting for him on the local green, which was the location they had chosen to meet. Xyrae was dressed beautifully in a pastel blue dress with strange pink flowers that seemed to turn to look at passers by. Wait a moment. They were looking at passers by every time someone walked past the flowers would turn towards them. As Joss approached Xyrae spotted him, and beamed. "Joss!" She ran towards him and hugged him. The flowers snapped at Joss causing Xyrae to back off "oh dear" she exclaimed 

"Xyrae… What are those on your dress?"

"They are klictaxis. They are sedentary carnivorous creatures that are native to the royal gardens of Zylothria. They tend not to be interested in eating anything larger than what they can fit in their mouths" Xyrae explained 

"Then why did they snap at me?" 

"They hunt by smell, you must smell delicious to them." She giggled "I certainly can attest to the fact that you do smell nice" Joss blushed 

"But why are they on your clothing?"

"It is how we dress on Zylothria, we believe attaching living organisms to our clothing brings colour and beauty to them"

"I mean they are very pretty. We should get moving, I want to show you around town before we go for lunch…"

"Joss, I didn't know that klictaxis lived on earth too" Xyrae was looking at a patch of small pink primulas

"Those are called flowers" Joss laughed "they are a part of a plant"

"I like them. Can I pick one up?"

"Sure, all you have to do is pull on the stem beneath the flower and it will come off the plant" Xyrae looked shocked 

"Will that not hurt the organism?" 

"Not really, plants can't feel pain like us, plus they can regrow lost parts" Xyrae beamed and picked a particularly beautiful flower from the bed

"It is wonderful, now I can keep it forever"

"Oh, um… Sorry to tell you but picked flowers will wilt and die" 

"There is no worry, I guessed it would decay over time, once separated from its main body. I will still keep it, I can prepare a temporal stasis field to preserve it" she explained to Joss

"How about…" Joss took the flower from her and tucked out behind her antenna. "Now you can keep it safe while looking even more beautiful" he said this without thinking causing Xyrae to blush. Then he realised what he had said "I-I didn't mean… what I meant was… Let's go get lunch…"

"Y-yes, let us go get this lunch of which you speak…" her face changed to confusion "what is lunch?" 

"It is the second meal of the day. I thought I might take you to a nearby restaurant that is a favourite amongst us locals"

The restaurant Joss took Xyrae to was a small curry house run by an elderly Indian man by the name of Fugga. Mr. Fugga was taller than Joss but still short. He had a patchy grey beard, dressed in bright coloured robes and hid a balding top under a small blue fez. He was always very friendly with local people, but would charge an extortionate amount to those from out of town visiting his restaurant. "Young Joss! It is always good to see you, but where are your friends? And who is this lovely lady" he smiled at Xyrae with many missing teeth 

"Hello Mr. Fugga, it's good to see you too. This is my… um…" 

"I am what people call his girlfriend" Xyrae said

"Y-yes, um I suppose that's the best way to put it" 

"A girlfriend Joss! That is wonderful news! I will prepare a table for two immediately"

"Actually you seem a bit full at the moment, I can't see any tables free at the moment. Perhaps it would be best if we came back later"

"Not at all Joss, there will be a table free in just a moment"

"Oh no you don't need to do…" but it was too late, Mr. Fugga had already walked off to a table where the patrons had finished eating and were just resting. "Off, off with you, you're taking up tables for paying customers" he then harassed the customers waiving his arms around and shooing them off till they were out the door. "Now there is a table for two free, best in the house for you and your lovely girlfriend" he smiled again and gestured to the seats. Joss felt like he had to complain but stopped himself before he did, as he realised that it would do no good other than to offend Mr. Fugga. 

"Thank you Mr. Fugga". Joss and Xyrae sat down at the table and ordered some food. It was a good meal, although Xyrae had difficulties with the spiciness of certain dishes. The faces she made had them both in stitches. Then it when it came time to pay the bill… "No no, this time everything is free, it is your first date and I will treat you both" Mr. Fugga resisted any offer of money that Joss gave which was highly unusual considering his proclivity to snatch any money he was offered. 

It was dark when they left the curry house. "I'd walk you home, but I'm not sure where you live" Joss chuckled 

"It is alright, I will message my vessel and ask to be transported to my chambers onboard" she brought out a small device and pressed a button on it. "Thank you Joss, for introducing me to human customs" her face seemed to glitter in the moonlight "before this date I discovered one more human custom I would like to try…" she lent in towards Joss and moved her mouth into position near his. But before she could kiss him the glittering turned into a bright glow and she dematerialised.