Black hats, black hairs, black dresses, black suits, black stilettos, black walking sticks, black limousines, black flowers while the star of the day laid peacefully in a golden casket.
My shoes were flat and my cloth was bland even though it was shipped in from an expensive luxury brand, a distinct contrast to the character I had portrayed while I tried to get my life back together as Areum.
An actress.
I walked towards my grandmother's held up portrait and bowed at an angle ninety degrees to it. Her soft smile in the photo reverberated my soul and for some reasons, I couldn't cry.
No matter how much I forced myself to accept my fault, the tears wouldn't spill out.
Is this a disappointment?
Or is this self hate?
A minute I thought I could save her from my father if I sent her away from the country.
And the next minute, her supposedly safe wagon crashed due to some mechanical fault in the engines before landing.
I scoffed a little, still not believing what had actually happened.
If I couldn't save my grandmother from the fork of death,
…why am I here?
Does it not mean I cannot change my fate as well?
Why was I given a second chance if I cannot rewrite this fate I had faced once?
What game are the deities playing with my life?
Are they…
"Hey!" Areum's voice jolted me out of my train of thoughts.
She looked sad, but for some reason I knew she wasn't sad deep down.
She was never really close with my grandparents.
She was just Areum to them.
My twin sister.
She would have wished them dead anyway.
Since their death will be the beginning of acquiring the family's inheritance to her name.
"Father calls for you." She continued rubbing her hand against my shoulder in an attempt to pacify me.
I slowly pushed her hand off my shoulder and turned, ready to honor the call.
"Wait up!" I heard her call from behind as she dragged in her heels.
I found my father by the garden which was evenly decorated for an evening party. A soft romantic light illuminated the entire threshold and tables that held glasses of sparkling champagnes and light fruits were scattered scantily in the garden.
Lots of distinguished guests were present for the funeral party, ranging from the mayor of the region, big shots with multiple corporations in their names, rival companies who wouldn't want to look bad in public eyes for not attending, and of course few of my parents friends who could fly into the country for the farewell party.
They all cooed and giggled as they clicked glasses while also sharing small talks seemingly forgetting the sole purpose of that evening.
What are they thinking?
Does this look like a get together party for them?
As I stood there watching their rash behaviors, father suddenly turned, sighting me from a distance.
He asked me to come closer and I squeezed my fist hard into a fireball.
He makes my skin creep.
I bit my lips a little and finally took careful strides towards him. Standing by his table were mother, uncle, two close friends of his and Hyun Woo.
Arriving at their table, I gave the adults a small bow and they all smiled at my courtesy.
"You're Areum, right?" One of dad's friends whom I know as Mr. Min questioned raising his eyebrows playfully.
Areum?
I could feel mother's acrylic nail scratch my dress a little and I gave her a side glance.
Her eyes read; speak nicely.
I could have managed to feign a smile, but the nerves that controlled my ability to pull a smile suddenly slacked while the grim look that I have been wearing ever since took the spotlight.
My voice was calm and at the same time grim.
"It's Aera." I said. "My name is Aera and not Areum."
Everyone paused, the embarrassment my tone had fished out suddenly settling in. The tension between us all became palpable and suffocating, but I was totally chill.
Mr. Min casted a look at my father and then back to me, but to make the air around us soften up, Mr. Lee, another friend of my father, Hyun Woo's father suddenly began to laugh while pulling the others into his laughter.
This continued for a minute until father raised his glass to take a sip of his champagne while gritting his teeth.
"Aera, you've grown into a fine woman and I hope you will get along with my son, Hyun Woo well to maintain this peaceful rendezvous we all are pursuing." Mr. Lee declared raising his glass for a toast.
"I am just eighteen years old and also a high school kid. I shouldn't meddle with the adult's busy lifestyle at this prime age, do you not think so?" I blurted out again, making them all drop their raised glasses.
"Aera!" Mother called.
"Then… goodnight." I mumbled, turning around to leave, but Hyun Woo grabbed my hand before I could.
I turned cold.
"I think this is a good start for them both. Why don't you have a little chat while the adults discuss your future together?" Dad uttered, striking a happy ball into Mr. Lee's heart.
Fixing me in an arranged marriage at my grandmother's funeral?
Hyun Woo slipped his hand into mine and pulled me away from the table.
Maybe that was what I needed.
To get away from them without turning back.
Like a sheep, I listened to my shepherd as he pulled me out of the gathering.
And finally, I felt some peace wash over me.
I snapped my hand out of Hyun Woo's hold and he turned abruptly.
"I'm sorry, Aera. This shouldn't have ha…"
"There's nothing to be sorry about. We are going to be getting married in the end anyway." I said back to him, my voice devoid of a tiny ounce of emotion.
Why was I suddenly cold to him?
To the man I love?
I couldn't wrap my head around things and his presence reminded me of the words I had just heard.
I took a turn and moved into the opposite direction.
I heard him let out a tired sigh and he began to close the distance between us.
"Aera, let's talk."
What is there to talk about?
I knew the whole yard more than him and I was smart enough to let him lose his tail on me. I hid myself in a passable wall that housed a small waiting area for smoking.
I rested my back against the wall and pulled something out of my purse.
A vape.
What has come over me?
Suddenly hearing approaching footsteps, I pushed the vape back into my purse and prepared to take a detour.
Hyun Woo was probably still looking for me.
As I turned to take the other way, the figure that had been standing in the way sent a jump scare through my spine.
"Jesus!"
I painted holding my chest briefly.
"Who the… Hyun Min? What are you doing here?"
The footsteps drew closer, approaching really fast as their shoe sole hit the ground announcing their brief arrival.
Tap!
Tap!
Tap!
"I saw you running away from a distance and here I am."
"I mean… Why are you here? Who invited you over? How did you know about my grandparents' villa?"
Hyun Min suddenly pushed me back to the wall gently while gracefully holding my face. His fingers parted around my ear and his eyes bored into mine.
Tap!
Tap!
Tap!
He slowly pulled his face nearer to mine while his eyes were gentle as they were gracefully fixated into mine searching for an unknown answer.
Under his touch, I couldn't resist him and all I felt was…
…warmth.
Tap!
He lowered his head towards mine and finally pulled a tilt, taking my lips into his and I found myself accepting him.
I let my eyes close shut.
His hand slipped to my back, holding my waist closer to himself and I carefully traced my right hand against his chest and finally wrapped my hands around his neck while our lips danced together in an effortless rhythm.