Suspicion

"She was kind to me." Zheng Ziyi murmured, wringing her hands. "She knew about Haoran and I, that we fought, that--that he beat me. She helped me hide from him, once. She did not say much, but I could see she was sorry for me, and it enraged me then. She told me I could not go on like this, and I, I laughed in her face--I told her to stop assuming she knew best, that things were that simple."

She paused to catch her breath. "Yesterday--after the funeral. When everyone was giving their condolences, she said--she said, it was good that he was dead. Because he was unkind to me. That I should live happily now."

There was a pregnant silence. She looked up tremblingly, to see the monk's reaction.

"She said it was good that he was dead," repeated Fahai meditatively.

Zheng Ziyi nodded. "Why would she say that?"

"I thought about it all night. And I suddenly remembered, how, when she first came to us, how strange she was. How strange it all was, come to think of it."

"Why was it strange?" Fahai demanded.

"Physician Xu met her on the mountains, I believe," Madame Zheng whispered significantly. "It seemed that she lived on the mountain alone with her sister. That in itself was strange enough--two maidens, surviving on their own? What was more, we had never seen them before. She had no parents. No family. Her sister told us some incredible tale about their family having to flee to the mountains and live in seclusion because of an infatuated suitor twice her age who would have taken her by force. And we believed it. But the more I thought about it, the more unlikely it seemed. And then she was so different. So different from us, from anyone else."

She swallowed hard. "She didn't know how to do anything when she first came. She had to learn, just like a child. But Physician Xu was so gentle with her, so patient, she could do no wrong in his eyes. He would not let anyone speak badly of her. No matter what mistakes she made, he would defend her." Even now a trace of bitterness still lingered in her voice.

"She learnt quickly, but she made so many ridiculous mistakes at first. On her wedding day, the matchmaker was scandalized because she bit right through the lip paper! There was once she served Physician Xu fish without taking the scales off it first. She could not sew--she could not weave, or plant vegetables, or wash clothes. All those things she had to learn, things which she must have had to do for herself if she had really grown up on her own in the mountain, unless they had servants, but they never mentioned servants! Does it make sense? No one questioned it, but the more I thought about it, the more I doubted it."

The words were tumbling out nervously, falling over each other in her haste. "And then she was always too free with her husband. More than once she kissed him in public. What woman with a proper upbringing would have done that, let alone if she was from a good family?"

She shook her head. "There are just too many things that don't make sense. She's too different. Too strange. And that's why I thought--maybe--she was the one who did it." Hastily, she added, "Of course, she's lived here for so long. Nothing has happened so far, I have to say that. No matter how much I disliked her or distrusted her, she did not cause any harm. And so many of them like her. Granny Hong treats her like a daughter. Huajun thinks she's amazing because she knows how to fight, and she saved them from the bandits that time. Even Madame Liang, who was wary of her at first, has slowly warmed up to her. I--I feel guilty to suspect her like this. But--maybe she thought she was helping me."

Madame Zheng bit her lip. "I've seen that look too many times in people's eyes to not know what it is, even when they say nothing, even when they do nothing. I knew she pitied me. She killed him because she wanted to help me. That's why, isn't it?"

She looked appealing at the monk. "Maybe I'm just crazy. So much has happened and I don't even know what to feel, what I ought to feel. I feel bad to think this of her. I know she's trying to be kind to me, and indeed she has been kind in her own way. But I'm afraid of her. I keep remembering what you said, how demons can disguise themselves to look the same as any of us, how they can mingle among us until they choose to reveal themselves."

She turned to Fahai fiercely. "But you would know. And you would know what to do with her."

The monk hesitated. "Supposing you are right," he said at last, softly. "Supposing this is the reason why I'm here."

Madame Zheng caught her breath.

He bent his head slightly towards her. "But I need you to say nothing for now. We should not warn the snake by disturbing the grass it hides in. I want to find definite proof for myself before I unmask her. Like you said, the people like her. She seems to be living peacefully here, for reasons only she herself would know. But one must never be become complacent with demons, especially when they start to linger around humans. They are crafty. The sooner people know what she truly is, the better. Your husband's death seems to be the first move she has made here. We never know when there will be a second."

"Her husband, especially, is devoted to her. If I were to accuse her without any clear evidence he would never forgive me. No, Physician Xu must be convinced. He must see it himself with his own eyes."

Madame Zheng had never heard him speak so much before. She nodded silently, looking thoughtful.