7. Motherhood is really hard.

" Good morning kismis..." I woke up from my slumber hearing that voice. I woke and saw samrat sitting in front of me with a smile. " why are you sleeping under the table ? " he asked me and I think that really worked as my kryptonite...cause I started crying. 

" why are you crying ? whats wrong kismis ? " he asked more gently , and the gentler his tone gets , I start crying more violently. " I am such a bad mother..." I told him in between my cries. " No you're not, but seriously what happened ? " he asked. I calmed myself down a little. 

" They all started crying together last night , me and that nurse we had to do so much to keep the kids feed and happy. In my confusion I feed baby number 3 twice and than I had to make milk again cause baby number 4 was hungry. " I told him about all my worries and I could see him fighting a laugh. 

" I have to change baby 7's diaper but I forgot and did it one hour later , thank god the baby didn't catch a cold. To apologize I carried him in my arms for one hour. " I told him , I never knew motherhood was so hard . Its such a hard job to keep your baby well feed , clean and happy. I am tired in just one day. 

" Than I hid here cause all that baby cries were irritating me , can you believe my own babies cries were irritating me. I can never be a good mother. " I told him. " That's not true , you're a new mom. And its normal to feel the way you're feeling its alright. " said samrat , wiping my face with his handkerchief . I have baby powder , milk powder on my dress and on my face. 

" I know you will be a good mom. Now your nannies are here. They have started caring for the kids. why don't you take a shower , eat something and rest for a while ? " he asked me and right now all that sounds just perfect to me. Nothing can be better than what he just said. 

" Let me meet with the nanny and explain her everything and than I can rest a bit. " I told samrat , I have to see the person who he brought in. I believe him , its just my mother heart doesn't know how to relax. " And also I don't have anything to eat and I don't feel like cooking , I don't feel like doing anything...I am going to cry . Why am I such a mess ?" I asked him with teary eyes. 

" Its alright , you take a shower and I will take care about the rest. concentrate on healing. you're not a mess. so its alright. " said samrat with a smile. I nodded. He helped get up. " Come with me " he said. we walked in the drawing room. I saw a woman in her forties sitting in that room with a young girl both looking professionals. " Good morning " I wished , trying to tidy myself up. That girl looks just like my age. But infront of her I will look like her grandmother. 

They both stood up and said " Morning madam. " I told them to sit down. I asked them about the salary they are expecting. And the work that they have to do. I came to know the woman in her forties is Mrs Pooja singh and her daughter Naira singh. After talking with them , I showed them the kids room and also introduced them with my twins. " Madam rest well , we will take care of everything here. " said Mrs pooja to me. 

" Thank you so much " I told her. leaving them to work I walked back in my room. I better take a hot shower , do some skin care and rest. I have to rest a bit before thinking what to do next. I took a long relaxing shower , wore a lose fitting comfortable dress and applied a mask on my face for dirt removal. 

Its finally time to rest a little bit. I am tired today. " kismis...." samrat walked in with a tray of food in his hand. " Here eat something before going to sleep. " he said placing the tray in my bed. Do I really deserve a friend like him ? He is so cute and good....the original owner of the body was blind. How come she never noticed him ? 

He has brought idli and dosa for me , and a glass of milk. " I don't deserve you " I told him and started eating my food. " well you're quite lucky to have me as your friend , cause I am the best. " said samrat with a smug , and now I don't like him great. 

" You rest a bit. I have talked with your grandfather , and told him about the kids. He said he will come to visit you today. " said samrat while I took a fresh bite of my dosa. " Thank you so much, that made things so easy. I was soo dumb not to take your help. " I told him and he laughed. God, he is more handsome than the models I know from my previous life. Karishma were you blind ? 

" That you were no doubt . Running behind that stupid man of yours. " he said in a mocking tone. well,I deserve that mocking.

" But now I will take your full help since I am back in my senses. Don't think I am taking advantage of you. " I told him , I tore a piece of dosa and fed it to him. 

" Even if you're who will stop you ? " he said and well that made me smile more. " Alright , and I have something else to ask . "I told him. " what is it ? " he asked me. " You're shifting here with me. I can't stay all alone with just my kids here. If its possible please stay here. I have extra rooms. " I told him. I don't know why but I am scared to live alone here. 

" And end my dating life ? you didn't even ask if I am dating someone. " he said with a serious face. well , I haven't thought about it. He may have a girlfriend , and if he does why its making me sad ? . I asked him " you have a girlfriend ? " . I must have known it. " No , but I date actively so can't be here. " he said and I nodded. Guess I have to be here alone . well , lets not think much. with my current position I can't force anyone to be with me. I have to work hard to give those kids a good life. only than I can pass the task given to me. I will work hard.