part 1

She is a paradox,

She is an straight forward women,

She loves her silent mornings in garden but not a fan of Flowers,

She is more into vegetable plants,

She hates loud mornings

yet hears loud music,

that helps keep her mind fresh.

She may look strong with a daring attitude,and yet she is weak inside,

She puts a perfect morphed attitude posture,and yet she is more vulnerable inside than anyone,

She is soft by heart,

and yet with an hard voice.

If you hurt her,she will get back to you much painfully,

It's her way of coping with her pain,

But that doesn't mean it will pain any less.

Her heart is strong and yet afraid,

All she want is someone to

see inside her hard facade,

to understand the real her,

Her love is deep worth in millions

and yet with no one give,

She may look like she doesn't care

yet she cares like no other,

She is friendly,an easy go women,

with lots of people around her,

but with no real friends,

She is sociable but also a loner,

She thinks differently than others,

which made her seem detached

from her surrounding,

She likes unpopular things,

Popular thing doesn't fit in her category,and yet she is popular

with her attitude.

She thinks she is strong

with no place for tears,

And yet she cries all night alone,

Even small things will hurt her easily,

She is not a loner,just because

she loves being alone,

It's just that being alone makes her feel safe from disappointments,

She is committed and yet relaxed,

No one will remain as calm as her

when her loved one is in verge of disappearing from her life,

She doesn't beg not openly,

but in her heart there will be a

trillions of silent pleas...

She is gentle inside and yet tough outside,She is not perfect,

She has her own set of flaws,

She too have hurted many unknowingly,

But she is loyal,

Very faithful than anyone,

Everyone tagged her as an

"certified bitch",

and yet she never bad-mouthed

about anyone,even when people does it to her,

Her words are straight with no filter,

She don't do sweet coating in her words,and yet she won't ever insults.

She is always questioned about her ways,her character just because what?? her attitude!!!

She has always overcomed this disturbing feelings and sometimes even succeeded,but now it is killing her literally,it is breaking her inside out almost into tiny pieces,her everlasting strong facade was breaking,

She is struggling to find a way to save her from this pain,

Her eyes are burning with uncontrollable tears,

She have been scared before about many things,

But for the first time she is sacred that her multiple layers of "fool proof coating" with her "attitude" which shielded her "real vulnerable gray self" all her life is going to be stripped raw in front of everyone!!!

Her insides are squeezing her way too much this time,she has been betrayed by every single person around her and yet they acted like she is a bitch,that she is at fault,

just because she is hard-headed doesn't mean she is not human,

She has every single emotions that are way deep than a normal person,it's easy to blame her,

Her attitude is enough to make her a bully,

and yet she is a victim of her suppressed emotions,she wants to let it out,but she knows she can't,and

There is no one that really cares about her anyway,

Her feelings which she has always controlled was now killing her mentally,she is alone at her worst,

She desperately need someone to cry,to yell and yet she fisted her hand in her mouth and cried in her bathroom hiding from everything,

Her muffled screams are the only thing that gave away her anguishness,

She want this no "need" this pain to go away,before it strips her inner self wholly!!!

She survived this much,so far just a bit more she encouraged herself,

All her life she is the only one who picked herself up when she is in the verge of falling,but now falling seems better than just surviving!!!

Her signature smile is long gone,

Her mind is reeling and it felt like it would collapse any moment,

Her brave steps now felt woobly,

And she stumbled many times today,

Her sharp words now felt hesitant,

She strong hands now felt fragile trying to hold on anything possible,

She felt powerless too feeble to even act like everything is fine.

She knows she is not perfect,and

She doesn't fit in the flower type of girl category,

She too had hurt people unknowingly,

But never knowingly,

Her stone like heart knows to care and feel but it's stone like appearance made it easy for them to tag her has a bitch,

But what they doesn't know is that this bitch will "never betray" anyone around her like they did and that this bitch will always stay "loyal" to anything or anyone committed with her!!!

Even though she doesn't beg for anyone to be with her,

She needs someone to care for her,

She never knows what it is to be loved,and what it felt like when someone accepts her wholly with every flaws,and what it is to have a best friend who doesn't use her?

Or what it would feel like to atleast have a person to smile at her genuinely!!!

She is always an aloof person with her feelings,even though she is sociable she is an closed book in her feelings,her life always depended upon her own decisions,but she never

really had someone that cares for her,

Her fear is what made her "hard headed" shutting people out of her real emotions,she wrapped herself in thrones so that no one could break her and yet she is broken brutally in her heart!!!

She is not always happy with her fake attitude and closed feelings but she survived this far,she faced all her odds alone,and she always looked more than fine with nothing to worry,

No one really knows what she feels inside not that anyone cared,

She also knows that she can't blame anyone wholly,because she knows that everyone has there own problems to worry for,all she ever needed is that little care that genuine care,which she is sure that she will never get,

She is different from others,

Her way of handling things is always disparate,and her way of handling pain is to shut everyone out,

Her misery is deep,and she knows that it is a part of her.

She is trying to smile and overcome her this weak point just like the other times but it's not making anything easy the suppression is killing her and it begging to be released,

Whatever she does is not enough and this agony is consuming her everything like a magnet!!!

But she is willing to fight,

To fight this pain again,

Deep down she knows

that it is not enough,

that her heart had accepted her defeat and was ready to crumble into darkness after so long,

But she has no other choice,

The world will never wait for her to get back her shit together,

She has to fight again,

More harder than before,

She has to live or atleast survive,

She was never an quitter,never,

All she prays to that God is that this time please let me survive this just give me the strength to face this world,I'm not asking to make my life easier just give me the strength to face my odds as I have no one but you,

please I beg you,just don't leave me into ashes!!!!!

_______________________________________

This is the tale of an one hard-headed women!!!

Her life was not easy,

Everyone judged her,

She was broken and stronger than anyother I have ever met,

FOR SOME WOMEN THESE ATTITUDE IS WHAT KEEPS THEM SAFE FROM GETTING BETRAYED!!!

EVERY WOMEN IS UNIQUE,

AND PLEASE DON'T JUDGE HER, JUST FOR HER OUTER ATTITUDE FILLED SELF,SHE IS MUCH MORE THAN YOU WOULD HAVE EVER UNDERSTOOD,

Never judge someone without knowing her fully you would never know what she is feeling inside,

This tale is just a flicker a women's emotions !!!

I'm not hear to offend anyone with my writing, please bare with my grammar mistakes and feel free to point my other mistakes too!!!

But no criticism!!!!

Thank you!!!!