Short story

The sound of the bus blows as they drive me home. As soon as I get off the bus, I'm dropped off at my house. I look at my Foster parents with the biggest smile on my face. My birth parents died in a car crash, so I was in foster care. My foster parents are addicts. When I was just three years old, I developed depression towards my foster parents choosing drugs over me. I have had my foster parents since I was just three years old. I Hear sobbing from the living room as my foster parents are on their knees, crying like the world was about to end if they did not get their drugs on time. I had become distant from my foster home. It was so harsh seeing the needles on the floor every day and the cigarette stains on the couch as you sit down. Once may 2018 came along is the moment that changed my real-life values. My parents were lying on the floor with no pulse and were white as a ghost. Thinking about it every day and every second of my life makes me regret every decision I could have made to have them here by my side.

To Begin, Today was the day of the funeral. I think to myself, I could have done something, but I chose to turn a blind eye till their heartbeat was no longer racing. I would think, why me? Why did it have to be Today? Could it have been when their skin was to sag and be a hundred years old? My foster parents were barely in their late forties. What did I do to deserve this? Is God punishing me? How could he let anyone suffer what I'm suffering? Especially: just a fifteen-year-old kid that is barely starting life. I see My foster parents resting in the coffin. I start to burst out in tears. I am an only child with no parents. You never know when a sudden misery can occur at any second. My foster parents are more like birth parents to me; I don't consider them to be just my guardian. I consider them as my best friends. I could tell them everything. Now that they are no longer with me, I feel a part missing. I feel worthless and disappointed in myself. If my parents were right here, they would say not to blame me. Everything happens for a reason; maybe it's time for us to go and for you to start a new chapter in life and see the real values in life.

Furthermore, My foster parents weren't always addicts. My foster parents were madly in love; They were so-called childhood sweethearts. My foster mom had the most caring soul. We would always go in the late mornings and help the children in poverty. She had the darkest brown hair and blue eyes like the ocean. She would make me soup when I was sick and go to the beach when I was sad. Although, my Foster dad was the opposite. He had the yellowest hair and the darkest eyes, like if you were staring at a black pit going on forever. My Foster dad was the most strict but the funniest. Even though he was overprotective, he would always make me feel safe. He would tell me the funniest jokes and his childhood memories that made me laugh for ages. My so-called best friends will forever live in my heart, and I will never forget how much I deeply miss them and forever will be loved.

Overall, as time starts ticking, it's time to say goodbye. I gave my last few sentences of grief. As the people close the coffin, I try to compose myself. I tell myself this will be okay, a new chapter will begin, and it is not over. I will change to become a better person nor just for me but the death that once told me not to give up. I will better myself and maintain a positive mind. I will not live in a conscious mind that the death was a result of me. Life goes on, as this moment showed me real-life values, are your very own parents. I will not dwell; I will continue moving forward.

In a new chapter, I am seventeen and a junior in high school starting to get a hold of making friends. I start school with my pink top which is my favorite color by the way, and also with a jean skirt and my favorite white shoes that are converse. Every day of going to school makes me feel so much better, you might say that I hated school but for me, it was a way to distract myself from what was going on at home. I had two friends that were the same age as me one had very long black hair and when you see her smile everyone would just turn to focus on her. She had big glasses that she clearly hated cause now she wears contacts but I missed her in the glasses it made her look sophisticated. Her name was Grace and her Personality was just top tier including my other friend Rebecca. Rebecca had wavy curly and was really short. Everyone would make fun of her height but that's what made her special to me. Her Personality was so funny and she had an open mind that I liked everything she would think she would automatically say. For instance, one day I had a bad day and my bra broke, and guess what this bitch said? She said some its free the nipple today and me just like now wtf but it was funny at that moment. At school, I had all the classes you had to take blah blah you know what I mean. But my favorite class was the gym. I love gym class. It was so fun. I also made a friend there whose name was Joe, which is a guy's name but she's a girl. She was very tall and we would gossip about every person up in that class. She would tell me about this dude. He's actually kind of my neighbor kind cause I saw him outside my house a few times, funny right? So Joe would tell me about how this dude broke up with his girlfriend and b and he had so-called needs damn this is actually the fourth time hearing this , its quite funny to me but I will be talking about that in my next series about this weirdo guy on the internet. Ok, so this dude let me tell yall he was not good-looking nor you would say everyone would think he was hot he was just a regular dude at gym class. So this dude had needs like damn dudes crazy. I mean if you had needs just watch porn right but no? This dude would entertain girls just so he can fuck them right crazy, but who knows he probably fucked her. Anyways, Joe would tell me all her gossip, that's why we clicked so good. ok sorry now to stop telling you random stories that have nothing to do with my life this part is where it takes a turn this is really hard for me to write thats why i just wrote this random chapter.

So this is where I have the saddest mental breakdown. If you can't read this because it contains suicide and yeah please if it's not for you then I understand. so you know when you start to think more and more that's what starts happening to me I don't know how to explain it but I was still seventeen here and I graduated early. I graduated early because I want to accomplish more. My life dream is to get my Ph.D. or whoever knows a bachelor's etc, every degree out there. I want to start over and get away. I don't know where but I just want to start a new life. I would love it to be near the ocean where I can hear the waves crashing by and just feel happy and wear fucking bikinis all day you know what I mean. So yeah I graduated early you can say I'm smart but that's what makes it worse you think about every fucking detail and you want to be perfect all the fucking time. Like please the thoughts don't go away. So this is where my emotions turn into I don't know like a storm that just rains every day. You know what I mean hopefully, so I can not control these emotions. I started to do drugs. Nobody knows this but I had the worst friends and now I love being depressed by myself lol. Anyways I start to see a specialist who recommends

pills. I forgot the name lol. I think I took pills for depression and so on. But to include omg I can't write this sorry I just can't let myself talk this makes me feel worthless and vulnerable. I just don't like thinking about what I went through. It's just yeah , sorry I will continue randomly in some paragraphs. So now I'm eighteen and just turned a couple of months ago I dated this narcissistic man but you know life goes on. I don't really care for him, but you know when your bored and go out with random guys yeah i'd say that's why i went out with him .Also including you know when you meet someone that seeks so highly for themselves yeah no. ok, this was just a short story but if you think I should keep going then please notify me.