'I don't mind cold soup'

The terrace at the back castle overlooked the vast—rather bare—garden, which overlooked what my maids told me as the side of the Keep where the men train and their weapons stored. It also has a path leading to the forest Jane told me when I first got here.

"If you wish to have some friends over, my lady, Master Leon advised me to extend this gazebo. Or if you have anything in mind, please tell me." Wary of my earlier statement about him disregarding me, Alestair personally recommended some high-quality tea leaves for me to enjoy.

"That's not a bad idea," I said. "By the way, can you look for a general art collector for me?"

"A general art collector?"

"Yes. One that doesn't really have a preference and is only collecting art to sell to others. That sort of collector. Oh, and I need your recommendation on who are best to work on the interior of the castle too. The count—I mean, Leon told me I can do whatever I want with the animal heads plastered almost everywhere." His name rolled roughly out of my mouth, but I thought I'd practice calling him by name from now on. Calling him by his title puts an invisible wall between us that, personally, I find too troublesome to cross.

"As you wish, my lady." the butler bowed his head slightly and I thanked him. When he was finally out of sight, I invited my maids to sit with me. They refused at first but after a tear or two, they reluctantly ate with me.

"Are your family coming to your wedding, my lady?" Viola asked.

"They won't." There were actually two letters sent to me from Vervin. The first one was the proposal. When I accepted it after two days of contemplating with myself, the messenger handed me the second one which took me by surprise. He said he was instructed to read my letter and if the response was favorable, he'd give me the second letter. It was stated in the second letter that the ceremony will be held as soon as possible and that it will be small—very small—with no attendees from either of our families. I told these circumstances to Quinn, and he almost chained me to my bed and locked my door. He said he'd pay any amount the Count demands of if it meant cancelling the wedding.

Remembering it now makes me laugh.

"But it's your wedding," Marie seconded.

"The count wanted the wedding to happen as soon as possible, so my family didn't have enough time to prepare."—I didn't even have enough time to look or have a wedding dress made. I just packed something white that I think I haven't worn yet.—"My uncle made me promise to allow him to prepare for a wedding celebration when we travel to Reka."

"Well, that's a bit sad, don't you think Viola?"

"I'm sure our lord and lady have reasons we can't even comprehend, Marie" was Viola's smart response. "I just wish Madame Maricella will come, but she hasn't visited ever since Master Leon returned."

"Madame Maricella?" I repeated. I love my maids, but I can't let this slide after mentioning a woman who's been visiting my husband-to-be's castle regularly in his absence.

"Yes, my lady. Master Leon's mother." Marie answered after gulping her remaining tea. "She came here from time to time to check on the castle affairs."

Of course! How can I forget, Maricella Astor, Baron Astor's youngest sister and the king's not-so-secret lover. I assumed that since my parents are dead, and I don't see his mother around—everywhere, matter-of-factly—I thought she's already... dead too.

I lowered my head and massaged my temple. I'm such a bad daughter-in-law.

**** 

The afternoon tea break was delightful. It surely cleared my head to face the new set of ledgers waiting for me in my study. But even though that should've been the case, the moment I was a few pages in the ledger labeled as 'Stables', my head started hurting again.

I counted; added, subtracted, and multiplied. It just doesn't make sense, so I placed it on the left side of my table together with the other ledgers that the number didn't make sense to me. I'll have to seat down with the Count later and discuss it with him.

Speaking of, I barely saw him these days and I've been all over the castle. He's not sneaking away with someone—I shook my head clear of the thoughts.

"Let's not jump to conclusions, Isadora." I whispered to myself.

After some time, the headache didn't cease. I leaned on my chair and looked past the window. The sun's starting to set. Noticing the quiet papers, Viola looked up from the pile I've tasked her with and asked me if I wanted to have my dinner here or in town.

"Town?" I perked up. The thought of meeting new people and going to a different place excited me. "Town in Ozryn?"

"Would you like to visit Ozryn, my lady? I think Jane wouldn't let you out at this time of the day without a knight escort. We could arrange to—"

"No, I mean... well, you said town."

"Oh," Marie covered her mouth for a giggle, "We refer the lowlands as the town. Vervin's town. It's small but there's a big enough plaza to dance around, a few pubs and places to eat, a bazaar—"

"A bazaar?" I had to interrupt my maid. I thought this island was all farming and men training. No one told me about a bazaar!

"Since the Count is back, we've got visitors coming over from everywhere."

Everywhere? Well, nobody told me about that surely. If they did, I would've left this castle early and roam around.

"When you say everywhere…" I let any one of them to finish my sentence.

"Theres's a small port at the back of the island, and sometimes merchants come here through that. Also, important people who doesn't want to go through the gates go through there." I nodded at Viola before the youngest took my attention.

"Now that the Count's back, there's a bunch of people coming just to talk to him. The town's never been alive like this before." Marie's eyes sparkled and a wave of excitement crashed onto me. A place to dance, to dine, and to shop! I want that. Oh, I really want that! This is the easternmost part of the kingdom; everything will be different form Reka but that's what makes it even more exiting.

Drowning in anticipation, I quickly cleaned my desk and grabbed the few ledgers that needed to be clarified with the head of the household later and bolted to the door. But as soon as I walked out, something sturdy but somewhat soft, stopped me.

A musky scent engulfed me, and I just had to close my eyes for a second to bask in it. Though, seriously, who is—I stopped myself and gulped. A pair of silvery eyes caught mine and my knees almost buckled. He was still in his training clothes, and his hair was a little disheveled, then there's a bit of stubble on his chin that I just wanted to reach and tickle my palm with it.

"Are you going somewhere?" His voice was my undoing and I found myself twirling around his finger again.

"Greetings, Count Astor," my two maids said in unison and bowed. Leon gave them a small nod then ordered the two to tell the kitchen to prepare for dinner. They were on their feet and before I can tell one of them to stay because it's not safe to be alone with this... achingly good-looking man in a small room with nowhere to go aside from jumping off the window, which I will not be doing.

"Y-you just came back?" I wanted to pinch myself for stammering.

"I did. Alestair told me you asked him to look for some people?"

"Am I not allowed?"

"That's not it. I did tell you that you can do whatever you want," he said, and we stared at each other for seconds. This is probably the shortest conversation I had with a man—ever! At times where words failed us, shouldn't we talk more... physically?

No, Isadora. What have you become? A flesh-hungry disgrace of a beauty?

"What are those in your hands?" I didn't know I was holding my breath when I finally sighed relief. "Ledgers?"

"Ah, yes. I have some things to clarify with you. There's something bothering me about some numbers."

"Oh? Are my people siphoning money from the safe?"

"What?" His expression darkened all of a sudden that it sent shivers along my spine. "No, no. Nothing of that sort! Actually—" I wasn't able to continue my sentence when a young man wearing the same looking training clothes popped up behind Leon. He whispered something in his ear then they both excused themselves, telling me that he'd see me at dinner before he left.

***** 

Dinnertime came and I waited for my husband-to-be to arrive all dressed in my favorite blue silk, short-sleeved, evening dress with heart-shaped neckline and a long skirt that fell gracefully just past my ankle. The winds have picked up as of late, so I paired it with its matching silk robe with cascading sleeves for some drama.

But as I waited—alone—in the dining room, I've finished two goblets of fruit wine and his shadow's nowhere around. Even the servants and my maids looked at each other as I called one of them for another refill.

"I don't think it's wise to have your fill of wine before your meals even start, my lady." It was Viola who came forward to inform me.

I turned a side-eye towards her—I didn't mean to, but what am I supposed to do alone in this huge dining hall full of animal heads looking—mocking—at me wasting away in this bare long table?

"Fine," I said, putting the goblet rather forcefully on the table. "I lost my appetite anyway." I grabbed the napkin on my lap and placed it on the table. My chair screeched against the floor, and I stood up, thumping my way out of the dining hall.

"Don't follow me. I want to be alone right now." I said and I disappeared into one of the balconies leading to the back garden.

I sat down at the gazebo where we stayed this afternoon and took a really long and deep breath.

Will this how my life would be for the rest of my married life?, I asked myself.

I did want a peaceful life for a change, I answered myself not long after too.

I sighed.

A little action would've been nice. A little wooing, a little getting to know each other. I don't even know if we still sleep on the same bed since I sleep and wake up without him by my side.

"It's cold out. Why are you here?" A deep, rugged voice broke the silence surrounding me and interrupted my little monologue.

"Why are you here?" I snapped back. 

"Are you mad that I made you wait?" 

I sighed, loud enough for him to hear, then turned to face him with my arm crossed in front of me. "You're not supposed to make a lady wait, you know. That's not very gentlemanly."

He blinked, his face clearly registering the expression 'Ooh... is that it?'

"I apologize. I took a quick bath because I was at the guild most of the day and went to the training grounds this afternoon." He averted his eyes and placed a hand on his nape. I could see his muscles flexing through his loose white tunic that opened with a deep V in front. "We're having dinner for the first time in a while, I thought it would be rude not to bathe first. Oh, but..." He looked at his shirt then to me who was too dressed up for the evening for the same reasons he had for taking a bath first. "this... I'm underdressed, aren't I?" he flashed a shy, apologetic smile.

I mentally closed my eyes to calm myself. How can this man be so damn tempting?

"It's okay. I was just taking in some fresh while waiting for you."

"You are?" He's tempting and innocent-like. I prefer my men with authority. "Your maids told me you lost your appetite." As he looked back to the dining room to make his point, I quickly scanned him from top to bottom; my eyes stopping at his visible chest.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to push my hands in the opening and wander it all over his back, his torso, his chest, and maybe even up to his shoulders. And when my hands are on his shoulders, I imagined he'd already taken the hint and have wrapped his strong arms around my delicate waist. He'd swoop me off my feet, and maybe we'd skip dinner all together—getting full of each other in the process.

"Miss Isadora?" calling me Miss snapped me back to reality. 

"Huh? What? Miss Isadora?" I rose a brow and got up from the bench. After straightening my dress, I walked towards him and stopped just a few inches away. 

He's taller than me, so I naturally looked up as I got closer. And as if my hands had a life of its own, I held it up and grabbed the thin braided fabric cord of his tunic and loosely tied it.

"There," I said, placing my hand on his chest, patting it twice. Any longer would be the death of me. "That looks better." I smiled charmingly and reached out a hand. "We're going to get married soon, so call me Isa."

"As you wish... Isa." Leon smiled back, a slight crease on his left cheek appeared, and I just swooned. His voice was low but clear and crisp against the murmuring noise both inside the castle and around it.

Leon took my hand and with a light squeeze, he placed in on his arm. We started to walk back the dining hall where Jane and others were waiting.

"The soup's gone cold," he worriedly said after helping me sit down. Spending most of his life in the north, I thought he'd lose most of his gentlemanly manners. Surprisingly enough, if it weren't for the scared hands and small scar bumps on his chest when I patted it earlier, I wouldn't have thought he lived a hard life.

"I don't mind cold soup." I smiled as I took a spoonful.

Anything right now is delicious if I get to dine with this fine man.

***** 

As the night deepened, our conversation became shorter. 

During dinner, I asked him how his day was, and he simply answered me that it was okay, and that nothing happened much. Out of courtesy for asking, he asked me back how my day went.

I went on and on and on. Giving the smallest details and even the quaintest conversations I had with my maids. I even told him about our afternoon tea, and how good Alestair's tea recommendation was. But my husband-to-be was a man of few words.

As I talked, he listened. He nodded occasionally. He clarifies things when he got confused, but all in all, he just sat there and listened to me as he helped himself with a heaping serving of meat and vegetables.

When dinner finished, we spent a short time in each other's company sipping wine before we left for our bedroom.

"I just have a few things to finish reading," Leon said as he made his way to his study at a small part of our room.

"Alright," was all I could say as I followed my maid to the adjacent room where the bed was. 

Viola untied my hair, and Marie took a lilac nightgown from my dresser. After wiping me down with a warm, clean cloth, I asked them to leave so I can change by myself. When that was done, they both bowed and left me alone. I heard them wishing Leon a good night before I heard the door opened and closed.

"Are you not going to sleep yet?" I peeked from the adjacent room's entrance when minutes turned to hours, "It's almost midnight."

"I'm good," he said without batting an eyelash towards me, "I just need to finish this."

"Oh, alright," was all I could say again. "Goodnight, then, Leon." I thought mentioning his name softly would make him move his head, but he only nodded, his eyes still glued on the piece of paper he was holding.

A certain kind of sadness washed over me as I climbed into our bed. When I moved to lay on my side facing the dancing curtains of the balcony door, I was made aware of how much space there was. If it was him, he'd leave his papers behind and come to bed with me. He'd pull me closer to him, and his heartbeat would lull me to sleep as he brushes the back of my head, or pat my back lightly.

"I guess it would be hard to find another you," I murmured, the spring wind brushing my eyelids close.