What it Means to Love

2012

Country road

3:32 PM

One day before Yoru's conversation with Akira

"Haa… Haa…"

Yoru greedily gulped large breaths of air as she ran down the side of a road, her black sneakers made a crunching sound every time her soles struck the concrete.

*pit* *pat*

*pit* *pat*

However, the teenage hitwoman wasn't running alone, her black pitbull eagerly sprinted alongside his human owner.

Instead of her usual black three-piece suit and trousers, the assassin wore a dark gray Adidas tracksuit and a baggy white T-shirt. Her long purple hair was tied up in a loose ponytail, bouncing left and right with each step she took.

"Haa… Haa…"

As the violet-haired hitwoman sprinted, a familiar vending machine came to view as she rounded a corner. The concrete road gave way to soft green grass and the teenager slowed down, coming to a complete stop in front of the green dispenser.

"Haa… Haa…"

After leaning her hand on the machine to catch her breath, Yoru reached into her tracksuit's pockets and pulled out two coins: a 500 yen coin and a 100 yen coin respectively. After inserting the two into the machine's coin slot and punching in some numbers, the machine whirred and three bottles of water dropped into the pickup box with three dull thumps.

"Haa… Here, have some." The violet-eyed assassin muttered to her canine companion as she opened one of the bottles and tilted it slightly, allowing a clear stream of water to pour from the bottle.

The pooch eagerly drank from the stream of cool liquid, using his tongue to lap as much water as possible down his parched throat until the plastic bottle was completely emptied.

After her hound drank his fill, the teenage hitwoman screwed the plastic cap back on and accurately threw the empty bottle into a garbage bin next to a nearby restroom.

"That was a pretty nice throw." A familiar cheery voice commented from behind the hitwoman. "Were you on some sort of sports team?"

"Thanks." Yoru appreciatively said as she twisted the white cap off of the second bottle. "And no, I was never in one. I'd prefer sitting down and playing the guitar. How about you, Ai?"

The violet-eyed teen took a long swig of her bottle and turned around to face her similarly violet-eyed younger twin.

"Was never interested in any of them." The shorter twin responded with a small smile and a shake of her head. "Besides, I dropped out at twelve to become an idol."

"Yeah…" Yoru remarked after she took another sip of water. "I dropped out of school as well; though, not as early as you. Got into my profession when I was fourteen, six and a half months after I dropped out."

"Oh? Did something happen?" The idol quizzically inquired as she tilted her head.

"My mom died." The assassin morosely disclosed, her passive expression shifting to one of bitter grief. "And six months later, my dad followed."

"Oh…" Ai softly breathed out as she took in her older twin's sorrowful expression, the elder sibling's eyes unfocused for a moment as she recalled some painful memories. "I'm sorry."

The sensation of something rubbing on her leg snapped Yoru out of her trance.

"Hey, it's okay buddy." The violet-haired hitwoman softly whispered as she patted her concerned canine companion. "I'm okay, it's alright."

"Is that your dog?" the pregnant twin asked as she watched her taller twin affectionately scratch the black pitbull. "What's his name?"

"Yeah… He is." the assassin answered with a nod of her head. "He doesn't have a name. Dad never really got around to doing so. We adopted him right before he was going to be euthanized. Though, we had another dog before him and her name was Daisy."

"What happened to her?" Ai queried, a sinking feeling emerged in her stomach as she realized too late she likely wouldn't like the answer.

"Some assholes broke into our house and killed her," Yoru growled out, her face turning into an angry snarl. "They stole my dad's car as well… That doesn't matter anymore, bastards are too scared to bother me anymore."

"Ah… I see…" The violet-eyed teen mumbled out, and the pair fell into a dull silence as the older twin drank the remaining contents of her bottle.

As the hitwoman finished the second bottle of water, she screwed the cap back on and threw the empty container into the same trash can with pinpoint accuracy.

"Tell me about them." Ai suddenly requested as her older sister grabbed and twisted the cap off of the third bottle.

"Hmm?" The taller teen hummed while she dumped around half of the bottle onto her face.

"Tell me about your parents." The idol repeated her question. "I… I want to know about the people who raised you."

"Ah… Well, I guess I'll start off with my mother first." Yoru began after taking a pause to pour the remaining water in the plastic bottle on her furry companion; the pooch happily barked at the cooling sensation of cold water being poured on his fur. "Her name is Helen and she's… she's the sweetest person in the world, a far cry from our biological one."

Ai's otherwise cheery expression darkened at the expression of their shared mother. Despite having not seen her in around ten years, merely mentioning the woman still dredges up unwanted feelings of white-hot resentment.

"Her kindness knows no bounds, and her smile is enough to brighten up the darkest of places." The assassin continued, a small smile forming on her face as she recalled her time with Helen. "She's probably one of the most important people in my father's life, she gave him the kind of love I was never able to give him. I'm his child, but she was his wife, an equal in a way I could never be."

"Mom died of glioblastoma multiforme, an incurable brain cancer." Yoru remarked with a sigh. "The cancer developed in a way that made it impossible to surgically remove and she was gone in just two months. But even after her death, she tried to lift our spirits and help us move on with Daisy."

"Although, what you really want is to know who my father was, right?" The taller twin pointedly questioned. "You were listening in on the conversation between Doc and I yesterday."

"Oops, I've been found out hehe." The pregnant idol admitted as she tilted her head to the side and stuck her tongue out. Yoru swore she could see a star leap from her younger twin.

"Well, that's alright." The violet-eyed hitwoman reassured with a shrug of her shoulders. "Dad… he's a thousand things to a thousand different people."

"To most people in our line of business, he's the equivalent of a saint." The older sister continued and a small fond smile split across her face. "After all, he was the man who severely weakened the high table and forced them to loosen their hold on the underworld. To a select few, he's a bloodthirsty maniac who craves nothing but blood and violence. To his former employers, he is death's very emissary. A man who could complete seemingly impossible tasks with deadly efficiency.

To his closest friends, he was the one person they could rely on through hell and high water. Mr. Shimazu, Winston, Charon, Bowery King, Marcus, and Caine. They would all risk their lives for him because they knew with certainty he would do the same in return.

But to me, my father was my hero, it was really as simple as that. He saved me when I was dying in that alleyway and took me in even when he didn't have to. He gave me a happy childhood, and taught me everything he knew."

Yoru took a deep breath and shook her head.

"Ai." She called out, facing her twin sister. "I am an assassin, but I figured you've already discerned I'm working in some shady businesses. My father was one as well; they called him Baba Yaga, the boogeyman. Many consider him to be the best hitman in the world, and I'm inclined to agree."

"When I told him I wanted to be an assassin like him, I could already understand he didn't want me to follow in his footsteps." The violet-haired assassin continued whilst closely examining her younger twin's complicated expression. "But even he could tell I was too stubborn to change my mind. So, instead of attempting to get me to quit, he trained me as hard as he could. And when I started to plateau, he enrolled me into the Ruska Roma, the same organization he was trained at. All to ensure I would have the best chances of survival when I officially become one."

"Why are you telling me all of this?" Ai inquired, the pregnant adolescent realizing there was a purpose behind her twin's monologue.

"It's to make sure you know exactly who you want to be around you and your child," Yoru revealed and the younger sibling swore she could see her older sister's eyes sharpen dangerously. "I'm a murderer Ai, I'm worse than any Yakuza or serial killer out there. I've mowed down enough people to fill several neighborhoods and the entire underworld knows me as the Angel of Death because of how high my kill count was. Do you want someone like that near your kid?"

"Kids." the violet-eyed idol corrected after another stretch of loud silence. "I'm pregnant with twins: a boy and a girl."

"I see." The older twin noted, her brows furrowing as she wondered what her sister was going to say in response to her admission.

"Yoru, despite everything you've admitted, I still believe you're a good person." The pregnant teen continued, her face one of complete conviction. "After all, a bad person won't try to make people reconsider. A bad person won't try to push people away because they're afraid the people they care about would get hurt.

Even though we only talked twice since we reunited, you haven't uttered a single lie. When you said 'I love you', I could tell you meant it."

The shorter twin took in a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"You weren't afraid of any kind of judgment or reaction I'm going to have about your secrets, nor did you tell me out of malice," Ai declared after expelling the lungful of air and meeting her older sister's gaze. "You told me out of love and concern for my safety. You're honest, Yoru: honest, strong, and full of love. Yes, I would want you around my kids because you're the role model they would need."

The two sisters stared at each other for what felt like an eternity before Yoru smiled and threw the last empty bottle directly into the trash bin.

"…I guess stubbornness is a trait we both share," Yoru stated as she walked over to the green vending machine. "You can come out now Doc, I know you're behind the machine."

"You told her I usually come by here on my morning runs, didn't you?" The assassin asked the glasses-wearing gynecologist as he came out from behind the dispenser.

"Yeah… I did." The young doctor sheepishly admitted, scratching the back of his head as he confessed. "Your sister made me fess up everything I knew about you, and that kind of included where she could meet up with you."

"I see." The adolescent hitwoman responded with a nod. "It is what it is, I'll be going now. It was nice talking to you Ai. Take care of her, Doctor Amamiya."

"Hey, Yoru." The doctor called out as the older twin turned her back to him. "Have you ever thought of retirement? Maybe stepping away from all this?"

Yoru stopped in her tracks at the doctor's statement. Retirement? Well, she could indeed retire at any time- she had made more than enough money from her contracts- but would the underworld accept it? Would they accept their angel of death leaving after only two years of service?

Retirement… Was there any reason for her to retire in the first place?

…

"We haven't seen each other in ten years, and we're only sixteen!"

…

Right, if Yoru retired, then there will be no worry of her enemies using Ai against her. The high table's new retirement rules will make sure of that. After what happened with her father, they're making sure retired assassins only come back on their own terms.

"I'll think about it, doctor." The taller twin cryptically answered before she began running. Her pitbull followed soon after, quickly sprinting to catch up with his owner.

______________________________________________

A couple of hours later

"Hello, this is the Osaka Continental Hotel. How may I be of assistance?" A female receptionist picked up the phone after only two rings, as expected of Akira's hotel.

"I would like an appointment with the manager." Yoru calmly requested as she sat down on her couch.

"...May I have a name?" The receptionist asked after a brief pause, her polite tone has now shifted to a more serious- but still polite- one.

"Wick. Wick Yoru." The hitwoman answered as she retrieved a pen and a notepad from her coffee table.

"Alright Miss Wick, you're set for an appointment tomorrow at Five PM, would that be fine?" The front desk worker reported after around twenty seconds, during that time the clacking sound of keys being pressed could be heard over the phone.

"Yes. Thank you." The violet-haired teen thanked the receptionist as she jotted down the time of meeting on the notepad.

"No problem. Thank you for calling the Osaka Continental Hotel. Have a good day ma'am." The front desk worker politely said before promptly hanging up the call.

______________________________________________

October 2004

Yoru's Elementary School

Two years after Yoru's adoption.

2:55 PM

"Hey, John." A now eight-year-old Yoru greeted as she climbed into her adoptive father's car. "How's work?"

Classes had let out just a couple of minutes ago and the courtyard was swarming with children. But strangely enough, Yoru said goodbye to none of them while walking to John's vehicle.

"...It was fine." The well-dressed man truthfully answered while the violet-haired girl pulled the car door closed. "How's school? Made any friends?"

"Fine as well." The girl replied as she buckled her seatbelt. "I've gotten a 93 on my math test."

"...You didn't answer my question." The soviet remarked, shifting the gear stick from the P position to the D position.

"... My classmates…" Yoru began after a pause, her hands lightly gripping her thighs whilst the car slowly accelerated. "They… haven't been kind about me not having a mom or the fact I don't call you 'dad'."

"... I should talk to the principal." The hitman declared while turning a corner, his hands gripping the steering wheel more tightly.

"It doesn't bother me." The violet-eyed juvenile declared, her indigo orbs staring out the window. "Friends or not, I still have you."

"... You need friends." John asserted, his lips thinning whilst making a right turn.

The adoptive father-daughter pair sat in silence after the assassin's advice. This has been their routine for the past two years, making small talk in the short six-minute car ride home.

"... How's music club?" The well-dressed man inquired when the car stopped at a red light.

"It's been going well." Yoru disclosed, a small smile slowly making its way on her face as the juvenile recalled the one thing she was interested in. "So far, it's just Miss Smith and I but she's teaching me how to play the guitar."

The Soviet hitman nodded at his adoptive daughter's answer. He convinced her to give one of the clubs a shot just a week ago and was glad she was enjoying something the elementary school offered.

In the years since Yoru has started attending, she never smiled when talking about school. The only things she used to talk about were her assignments and tests, almost as if school was a job for her.

Yeah, John was glad his adoptive daughter found something to enjoy.

'To think one day I would be in your shoes, Boris…' John thought quietly as he lightly tapped the black leather steering wheel of his car. 'You found and raised me when I lost my family. You always pushed me to have fun and enjoy my youth. Even when I was recruited by the Ruska Roma and trained by the Director, you never stopped urging me.

I don't think I could bring myself to hurt her, even for training. She's talented, almost to a frightening degree, but I could never bring myself to go too hard on her. I could have her join the Ruska Roma but their training is too brutal for someone her age.

Brutal… but all too effective. The lessons they've beaten into me have saved my life on several occasions. I could have her join when she's older but not right now. She promised me she wouldn't go into the world until she's 18 and-'

"John?" The hitman's adoptive daughter called out, snapping him out of his thoughts. "Do… you have something you need to tell me? You seem to be… deep in thought."

'Oh, I still have to tell her that.' The hitman realized. 'I can't tell her right now, I don't know how she would react to the news in the car.'

"...You'll know when we're home." The well-dressed enforcer softly replied.

Yoru nodded in understanding and for one of the few times in his life, the professional assassin was uncertain. Uncertain about how he would break the news of his newfound relationship to his adoptive daughter.

______________________________________________

A couple of hours later

6:21 PM

"John… What's the thing you're supposed to tell me?" The violet-eyed juvenile asked her adoptive father as she took a bite of her pljeskavica, a Slavic meat that's reminiscent of a beef patty. "I think you were pretty worried about it in the car."

"...I've found someone." The well-dressed assassin hesitantly revealed. John pursed his lips and watched his adoptive daughter cease chewing to process his words.

"I… I see." The juvenile answered after she rapidly ground and swallowed her mouthful of meat. "Do… Do they know about me?"

"...Yes." The man gently affirmed after nodding his head yes. "She also wanted to meet you."

"... Do I have to?" Yoru falteringly inquired, the young child unsure of what to do with the revelation her adoptive father has been seeing someone. Just the mention of dating caused bad memories of her biological mother to resurface.

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"Sometimes, I really wish I had made him use a condom that night."

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"Yoru… I'm scared. Mommy isn't home and I think I saw something."

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"Yoru." The soviet called out as he gently laid a hand on his adoptive daughter's shoulder, snapping the girl out of her spiral of flashbacks.

"Ah… I'm sorry." The girl apologized whilst noticing her guardian bending downward to pick up the fork she dropped. "It's just… I'm… I'm terrified. Whenever I think of dating, it always comes back to my mother."

"My mother hated girls, but loved men." Yoru continued as she sniffled, tears beginning to bud up in her violet orbs. "She would come home with a different one at least every two weeks. I… I know it's stupid but I'm scared you would do the same. That you would look at me in disgust and abandon me."

"... I love you, Yoru." John began while he delicately hugged his weeping ward. "Though we're not related, you're my daughter. Even if you never call me 'dad', you will be my little girl until I die."

Yoru leaned deeper into her adoptive father's embrace while her crying intensified. Their half-eaten meals are now forgotten as the veteran comforted his child.

______________________________________________

A couple of hours later.

10:34 PM

*Ding*

A notification sounded just as John closed the door of his daughter's bedroom after putting the girl to bed. The veteran reached into his right pocket and flipped open his gray Motorola.

Helen: How did it go?

When he saw the message was from Helen instead of his boss, the hitman's shoulders sagged with relief. Breaking the news to his ward was difficult, to say the least. Trauma and pain never truly go away, they only get painted over by more memories. The holes carved will never disappear, only becoming less obvious as time goes on.

John: It went reasonably well.

Helen: Oh? What happened?

John stared at his phone for a couple of seconds at his girlfriend's question as he recalled what happened just hours prior. His brows slightly furrowed at the memory of his daughter's face when unpleasant memories of her mother resurfaced.

John: She had a flashback, but she's fine now. I just put her to bed.

Helen: Is it because you mentioned you were dating me?

John: Yes, but it wasn't your fault.

Helen didn't respond for some time after the soviet affirmed her suspicions. After the assassin waited several minutes for another message, he closed his phone and walked to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

______________________________________________

*Ding*

Helen: Will it be alright for me to come over sometime soon? I want to meet Yoru.

John stared at his girlfriend's question and thought over his response for a while, writing and deleting his message over and over again until he was finally satisfied with what he wrote.

John: I will have to ask if Yoru's okay with it.

Helen: I see. From what you've told me, she sounds like a reserved yet very sweet girl. She's kind of like you in a way.

John: Yeah.

Helen: You may not believe it yourself, but you're a kind man John. It takes a special person to adopt and raise a girl who came from an abusive household.

A small smile made its way onto the long-haired hitman's face as he read his girlfriend's new message. But almost as soon as it came, it disappeared. Unlike Yoru, the Soviet hasn't informed Helen of his work as a hitman. He needs to be careful around the brown-haired woman; after all, their entire relationship could be destroyed when she finds out what he does for a living.

And… he's worried for her safety as well. If word got out about her… no. His reputation would be enough to ward off anyone sane from going after her. After all, no one was stupid enough to cross the Baba Yaga.

______________________________________________

Two days later

John's home

5:18 PM

"...Helen, meet Yoru, my daughter," John said as he stepped through the door. "Yoru, meet Helen, the woman I'm… dating."

"... Hello." Yoru softly greeted as she looked up at the woman.

"Hey, Yoru, is something wrong?"

"Hmm?" Yoru hummed before she looked up at her music teacher. "Oh… It's nothing."

"Well, you seemed distracted." Miss Smith elaborated as she put aside her guitar. "So it can't be nothing."

The violet-eyed girl stayed silent whilst pausing the strumming of her guitar. Her brows furrowed and her left hand gripped the neck of the guitar more firmly.

"John… He told me last night that he was seeing a woman." The juvenile admitted to her teacher with a shallow sigh. "I… I don't know what to feel about that."

"Well, feeling afraid is perfectly normal." The blond woman gently replied with a reassuring smile. "You're afraid that he isn't going to pay as much attention to you, right?"

"No…" Yoru divulged with a shake of her head. "That's not it…"

"Does it have to do with… your biological mother?" The music teacher tentatively inquired, her smile dropping when she asked the loaded question.

"I may not have known him as well as you do," Miss. Smith continued after the violet-haired child wordlessly nodded. "But I can tell without a shadow of a doubt that he loves you. Seeing a parental figure love someone else is always difficult at first."

"Hmm." The juvenile hummed as she looked up at her music teacher.

"I don't think I've ever told you this, but I have a stepfather." The blonde woman elaborated, a sad expression gracing her face while she recalled her childhood. "My biological father was a deadbeat and my mom met my stepfather when I was ten, just a bit older than you right now.

At first, I was scared too. But that changed when I met him for the first time. And… I'm proud to call him dad because he was the father my biological one never bothered to be."

"John… John told me yesterday that I could meet her only if I wanted to." Yoru disclosed, newfound certainty seeping into her voice. "I… think that I should."

"I think you should too, Yoru." The blonde teacher affirmed with a smile. "After all, as the saying goes: The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

"Hey, how are you?" The brunette greeted with a smile as she walked closer to the violet-eyed child.

"I'm good." The girl replied with a nod. "Do… Do you want to take a seat?"

"Wow, so polite." Helen complimented as she gently laid her bag on the coffee table and sat on the beige couch. "Your father has raised you well."

"...I'll be in the kitchen," John announced before he entered the dining room.

"Dinner?" The violet-eyed child inquired.

"...Forty-five minutes." her adoptive father replied while he looked through the refrigerator.

Yoru nodded and looked over to her potential stepmother.

"Want some juice?" Helen asked, rummaging through her bag before pulling out a bottle of mango juice. "Your father mentioned you like mangos so I brought some juice from the Seven-Eleven."

"How did you two meet?" The violet-haired juvenile inquired as she graciously accepted the gift. "John… didn't give me very many details."

"Oh. He and I first met at a restaurant." The older woman explained with a fond smile. "It was super busy then and there weren't any seats available. Well, there wasn't until your father noticed me getting turned away and offered to share a table. We talked, I gave him my number before I left, and well, the rest was history."

The young girl smiled slightly at the older woman's account. Yeah… she doesn't seem to be half bad. Her birth mother never felt this gentle, this caring, this… warm. For the rest of the day, John's home seemed cozier with Helen over.

______________________________________________

Japan

October 2004

9:17 PM

Orphanage.

Ai stared at the yellow ceiling of her new room as she reminisced about everything that led up to her being placed in foster care.

After Yoru's… no. Her older twin couldn't be dead. Ai would not accept it. Yoru has… disappeared. Yeah, that's the right word. Disappeared. Not died, disappeared.

After Yoru's disappearance, several men in suits showed up at the apartment and asked to speak to her mother. At first, her mother tried to close the door on them and get them to leave but they wouldn't take no for an answer.

______________________________________________

Two years ago

"I'm sorry, please leave." The older violet-haired woman declared as she tried to close the door on the three men in suits.

But when she tried to pull the door shut, something was wedged in between the door frame that made closing it impossible.

Ai's mother glowered and looked down at what was keeping the door open, but jumped back in fright as she caught sight of the barrel of a pistol.

"We're just here to have a talk, Miss Hoshino." The bearded man with a ponytail calmly asserted when he pushed open the door. "Please cooperate."

"Wh- What do you want from me?" The violet-eyed woman stuttered out while fearfully backing away from the door.

"We're here to talk, Miss Hoshino." The glasses-wearing man repeated for the third time as he put away his pistol. "It would be in your best interest to comply."

"Why don't you go to your room, little one?" The ponytail-wearing man sympathetically advised when he noticed Ai sitting at the kitchen table, his eyes narrowing when he noticed the broken bottle and glittering shards of glass on the floor. "This is… adult talk. A child shouldn't be listening to what we're about to say."

Despite his voice being very soft, the violet-eyed child could sense the solemnity in his words.

Ai nodded and did as the man asked, carefully sliding off her chair and tiptoeing to avoid being cut by the numerous fragments of broken glass scattered across the kitchen floor.

______________________________________________

After whatever "adult talk" the men in suits had with her mother, she seemed to be different. The violet-haired woman tried to control herself more and the beatings stopped.

Well, that was two years ago. Her mother had been arrested for theft soon after and Ai had been bouncing around orphanages ever since.

"At least the caretaker of this one is nice…" The violet-eyed girl murmured to herself while turning to her side. "Maybe this one won't be so bad…"