Seven Sins To summon Lucifer
THE GOAT LUST
CANELES DE BORDEAUX
Adultery is an unforgivable sin; my father shouted in a grief-stricken trembling choked voice to my mother who was standing with bowed head half braided hair touching her silence nudity leaning on a broken mirror and her tears rolling down on the insatiable complaining redundant cheeks with her eyes meeting my curious pupils behind the velvet door curtains .
A night of half burnt moon I was on the terrace locking my legs with him and a piece of Caneles de Bordeaux; which he always prepared for me with much less sweetness like my mom ;symbiotically absorbed the tastes of desert on his nude lips caught by the unexpected vengeance stored in the heart of my father and the rains quenched my heart being abandoned by his regretful gesture.
I left behind my amateur love ,moved out from the city of love to the crowded streets of Chandannagar, Kolkata, India.The streets were shoved with pieces of colonization of serenity,the grave still mansions of Christianity, reflecting the unfathomable victory and undeniable courageous strategies.I moved into my cousin's house ,an intricated piece of indofrench architecture, a dane of a painter;who was always trying to bid his painting with his desolated emotion.I was only accompanied by Selena, a lady with absolutely stunning curves carved like a hungry lion.The strings when touched aroused my evoked suppressed manhood .I was being played by her soaking my weaknesses in between my thighs and when she touched the ground for submission to summon ,a heavenly note went through my shivering hands to her neck piercing her every secret holes through the bow hairs. She loved my indecent touches to her waist and neck repeatedly, she never complained, argued ,judged me ,she was rather wanted my pains to be entangled with her notes.
Hey!Sébastien allez…..Paul patted on my arm and interfered in my fantasy with Selena. I took her like a baby and made her sleep on the couch.We began to take a look on the streets of the ghats ;where a senior most branch of a banyan tree wanted to hide something from me.My curious eyes disclosed two entities holding each other's hand smoothly gossiping loudly laughing intensely , so piercing their voices were.But how could someone has the same curves like my Selena, same vibrant strings like hairs on cleavage of hips ,those petite shiny nails on feet ,broad and wide breast like her,tiny with tangled sparse hairs ,which I gazed from a feet or two apart.Paul waved his hands on them and greeted them with namaskar,they both smiled genuinely, I noticed the dimples and was haunted by anxiety immediately, so much awfully I reacted .
They were the students of Paul ,both were from an orthodox brahmin family this was the first line of introduction on the pavement. Raghavendra Chaterjee and Rajeswari Chaterjee his elder sister by two minutes only.Painting was their interweaving way of expressing hidden gratitude only and for me the music through my Cello my beloved Selena a piece of compassion to my inner conscience. During the conversation at the coffee house next to our premise ,the beverage was getting delusion still illusionary, I hallucinated drinking the drop of brown from the underneath of lips seating opposite to me;suddenly the emptiness of my own cup touched my evil intentions and made me come to my reality. I fell asleep while looking at Selena in a betrayed manner imagining caressing those lustrous hairs.
The morning began with knocking doors and my pounding heart when I saw both of them on our doorstep with a box of Caneles to my surprise it tasted less sweetened like my mother made at home .Rajashree was a professional cook, trained one,loved to bake Raghav said in a shallow voice.Raghav entered straight into Paul's working area.I noticed sort of vintage paintings ,a church ,an old tree with 2 different flowers of white colour with red spots on both of them.
We began a formal conversation,during which the lady asked me ,"which is your favourite alphabet ?"I answered S. Solivagant,Solitude,Silence,Scornful,Scribbling,Scathing,all these battered battling emotions are started with S ,even my name I Smiled .The lady said seduction, submission, Sacrifice these kind of extremities also start with S .While having these kind of coded conversations Selena caught Rajashree's aattention. Suddenly she was abusive with her, getting jealous of her in my life,touched her here and there and I saw her to be uncomfortable and grab Selena's waist and made her into my laps.Rajashree immediately hold my hand and requested me to teach her playing Cello.How could be someone so insensitive I thought looking at her. I appreciated her enthusiastic nature ,agreed hesitantly to teach her but in morning hours only. Rajashree caught notes marvelously began to drop classes of Paul.They both were regular ,came on time but Raghav as a painter had to be work hard than his sister.But her sister was submitted her longing emotions to the warm hands of Selena.
I used to notice the sweats dribbling through forehead down into straightly on nose bridges,behind the ears sometimes touching the greenish veins on the sides of neck ruthlessly entering inside the attire worn,the unshaven disciplined still movementary eyeballs,the tightened caged lips,the arrowing eyebrows,the intermittently appeared dimples,the growing and descending lines of sweats like a lazy snake through the clothes,the way of postures sometimes leaning with round a littlr saggy buttocks ,sometimes half leaned showing belly button and curves ,sometimes taking the legacy on wooden arms of the chair.
Tonight ,I played my notes high while sobbing ,soaking my guilts and pain into paralleled dimensions ,while Paul observed me wearing a Dhoti ,Indian attire in a miscalculated manner might be just after taking a warm bath with an alluring heavy teary eyes. I was sitting on the edge of my bed and slowly became dropped his head like a little baby on my shoulder and began to ease my struggling gesture with his warm kisses.Selena was an silent eyewitness to my betrayal afterwards.
It had been a year here in India.I barely remembered and darkened by my past incidences.A child was inside me ,a little more wicked,a little selfish but not so weak .On the occasion of jagadhatri pooja ,we were both invited to the bungalow of Chaterjee's.Their parents were legally divorced ,I came to know long after having bondings with them today.Paul and I seated together on a Kaleen.Suddenly Rajashree seated in between us and hugged Paul very annoyingly. She prepared lots of Indian deserts n other cuisines with lessened sweets,and Paul didn't even taste a bite after so much nibbling .We were about to leave ,Rajashree wanted to show me her newly brought D'LUCA cello and wanted me to play it infront of her.It didn't have any similarity with Selena but it had charismatic lust inside it. I felt the heavy breathing, warmth of each breath ,with a breeze of classic French perfume,reddepening bloods on my veins of neck whispering in my ears in a moist heartened heatened voice to love her.While turning my head swallowing my fears I found the goddess with only French braids covering her half of left breast and her shaking body with a begging gesture,nervousness in her uneven moments of trunk, I didn't look at Rajashree twice before leaving or I might not be desired to look beyond this.
I decided to leave the previous house and am being thrown in an Orthodox Indian environment in an abandoned ancestral house next to a church by my indecisive nature.Paul and Raghav visited me regularly.After a days of disconnection ,they both came to my place .Paul started to prepare some coffee and toast.I was suddenly embraced with a fragrance of the tenderness, affection,valuing,idolization,adoration,passion and bit of desiring humanity.Which I was longing ,it was Raghav I turned towards him with silences between us.He feeded my starving soul with food like an eagle to the sparrow with his beaks knowing carefully where to hurt me where not to hurt, I shattered in his arms and united like a broken pieces of glasses never desired.The drenched clothes of ours began to wrap us.I summon him inside me to lease my pain for sometimes,to ease my guilt for eternity,begging for making adorned my spirit , I wanted to feel the earthenly pleasure like an unhealing punishing wound by the Satan.It bloosomed in the land of oasis on my mirageous desert.
Paul started to live with me in the nights only worning out my deep seated wounds with his possession and partition.Selena now smiled like she was taking revenge for betrayal, lying on the couch with bottles of rum and some pieces of Caneles.
On a Friday evening paul and I,praying in the church next to my place ; I began to hold his hand and put another his hand on my bare hairy chest through the half opened kurta.I confessed my love and put forth a request to go to our native state get married there.
We planned to leave India forever on the next month,December. Nights were cold that time,I observed Paul was annoyingly talking with someone in the late night hours.I never dared to ask him.I could smell the voice of a man and a sort of jealousy in those voices.Once I picked the phone up leaning on the side of wardrobe, the wavy voice of Rajashree saying , she Caught her brother inhaling the smells of Dhotis and Kurt's of Sébastien, he was left with so many paintings portraying their intimacy,even Raghavendra wearing the undergarments of Mine ,I heard everything .I began to crawl towards Paul throwing my body on him,in a numb voice said it was always Rajashree.
It was a Sunday evening,Paul arranged a dinner party before leaving India.we all were on couch ,I noticed Selena was disappointed with me .Paul served us some culinary dishes,while at last Paul was preparing decoction I barefooted entered to kitchen and grabbed him between his thighs and whispered don't get panic,what Raghav had been telling you since ,he was just making you aware of evil desires of his sibling. I saw the engorged veins in the eyes with tears.The venomous snake was so raged now .I silently noticed the demonic possession inside him ready to slay her with all hostility accumulating in a tiny cup of coffee.They leave early as Rajashree starred to feel dizzy .
Paul got breakdown on that night on my lap,I patted him to sleep after making him to eat two pieces of Caneles de Bordeaux,with some rum which he said they were extra sweetened ,brought by Rajashree as a gift .I opened the painting made by Raghav those flowers without redspots but Paul was never able to open his eyes.