Chapter 14
Sam promised Wiley he would go straight back to the hospital. But when Wiley told him Mara might visit Jillian and get out of town for the rest of the week, he had another idea. He asked a rookie to take him to Mara's townhouse. He trashed the hospital robe at the precinct and grabbed some black sweats and a baseball cap.
"Lieutenant, are you sure about this, you still look pretty rough." The rookie said. Sam got out of the car, "I'm fine, looks worse than it is. Thanks. And do me a favor and don't mention this to Wiley."
Mara was in her bedroom, she was packing a bag on her bed. After what happened and the nightmare she didn't want to be alone. Maybe a visit to Jilly would help her calm down. What she really wanted was to see Sam. But she was nervous that his family would still be around. He hadn't called her, although she didn't know if he had his phone.
After trying to eat something, she jumped in the shower. Her hair was thrown up in a bun and she threw an oversized plaid button up shirt on. There was a knock at the door, "who would be here now?" She was spooked with everything that happened. She slowly tiptoed to the door , "who is it?" she asked.
There was silence and then, "It's Sam," he said in a husky strained voice. What! She opened the door and there he was. "What the hell, are you crazy!" He walked in the house and right past her. She turned around to yell at him and he threw his hat down and grabbed her waist. He pulled her into his chest and took his mouth in hers. He kissed her with such passion, such intensity his chest started to hurt instantly.
Mara was so upset, but when he kissed her it was like her body was betraying her mind. He let go to breath. "Sam," she whispered out of breath. "Please, you need to be in the hospital, what are you doing here." She closed the door behind them. " I can't," he said. "What, why," she asked. "I need you…Wiley said you were going to go away for a few days.. you're gonna leave and I won't let that happen."
"Sam, she said, but he moved past her and walked down the hallway looking in the rooms till he made it to the bedroom. He saw her bag half packed on the canopy bed. "Are you crazy, you're in pain!" she yelled following him. They both looked at the bag. "Why.WHY!" He yelled flinching in pain.
Mara ran her hands over her head, letting her hair fall around her cheeks into a wavy blonde bob. She looked down, not wanting to meet his eyes." Why?" She repeated back to him. She laughed in an annoyed way. "Look at yourself. You are sick, you're hurt and you just show up here. This is crazy, I didn't come here for this Sam. I just wanted some peace in my life. Not to watch you almost get killed or watch a little kid deal with his mother who by the way, thinks I'm some desperate spinster!"
"Oh I'm a kid now..so things get tough and you just want to run away. You ran away after your husband died and you want to run away again" he said. "How fucking dare you" she said. I didn't run away.. I wanted to start fresh in a place where I wasn't reminded of a broken heart everywhere I turned! And I'm not running away from you. I fuckin ran towards you!
She looked like she was ready to kill him and then took a deep breath. "I was just ..I needed a couple days to rest and think after everything. I mean my god Sam, I saw you lying in the street, left for dead one second and the next your mother.. I almost punched your mother out! … How could you say I would run away" she said looking like she was wounded beyond words. "And then after all that I go down to the station and they interrogate me like I'm the criminal! Like why did I get out of the car? What kind of question is that?!"
Sam was starting to sweat. "I'm sorry.. I didn't mean it that way… I'm sorry.. I meant because you're scared, "he looked down. He grabbed his chest and stumbled. " Sam, damn it." She caught him and laid him in the chair next to her bed. She couldn't support his weight to get him on the bed. "I'm fine, I just need to sit."
"You're not fine, I'm calling an ambulance." "NO , No please Mara. Please," he was begging her. He leaned back in the chair. "Just…You know… growing up I watched my mom so scared to lose my dad, like he was some possession or something. I didn't understand it. I thought if that's love, feeling like someone is suffocating you every second, then I wanted nothing to do with it. But it wasn't love, it was fear. She was scared to death to be alone. She wanted to control everything he did, everything we did. I dated a lot of girls Mara, but I never wanted to let anyone get too close…to be controlled like that. But you made me realize that it shouldn't, it doesn't have to be like that. You talk about having kids and a family. But, I never even thought I would get married, let alone have kids. AHH," he winced back on his side.
"Sam," she yelled shakily, "stop talking, we have to get you back". She was too scared he would pass out. "Mara, just tell me, tell me you don't love me and I'll leave." She looked at him, and it was like all the air left the room.
The truth was she wasn't sure. Or maybe she was, but she couldn't admit it. She knew he made her feel a way no man had ever made her feel. Physically, she had never been so attracted to anyone like this, Not even her husband.
Maybe she was ashamed to admit a lot of things when it came to him. She loved her husband so much that she never thought she would feel like that again. Or come close to that again. They really didn't know each other that long. But she couldn't deny the attraction, it was magnetic and easy. Yet there were so many obstacles in the way she thought.
"I, I know that I care about you…He let out a painful laugh and looked away. But she grabbed his chin in her hand and let out a breath. " I know that when you look at me, I feel like there's no one else around. I know that when you touch me I feel tingling everywhere. And when I saw you being hurt"… he pulled her into him. She kissed him so gently on his lips.. And then she parted her mouth and his tongue met hers in a passionate dance. "Sam, please let me take you back. I promise I won't leave…"