I walked for hours, lost in thoughts. I had so many things that I needed to digest before deciding what was I supposed to do. The place the portal took me was an open field circled by hills and mountains in the distance.
There were some big rocks where I was standing. They were looking natural considering the structure of the place I have been in a few seconds ago. However, they were standing with each other to make a complex shape. It was like a symbol almost as it was built to be seen by birds only. In overall three spirals where meeting. I was in the centre of it. First I was sitting on one of the stones for many hours. Then I found out that walking is a bit more helpful to think.
It was already night and I did not realize that I had reached to some sort of forest land and surrounded by trees until I hit one of the branches. I decided to take things easy as I was advised before and look for some water and food.
The forest didn't seem like it has many habitats at first. I found a spring, it had been ages since I was hydrated properly. I heard some birds and rodents at some point. Picked some of their berries from the bushes, gathered some nuts from the trees. After a few failed attempts I made a basket to carry the food out of branches and continued wandering without a destination.
Two more days and nights had passed. On the second night, I felt a need for sleep once again. This time there was no dream to be found. When I woke up, my eyes met with a pair of another glowing yellow in the dark. There was weak steam coming out of the creature's mouth. Which I found odd because I was not making any of it. It looked at me for some time without moving an inch.
She was standing on his four legs, had a grey fur. Her sharp teeth glowed when the sky let the moon's light out. Her body was hurt because of the fall she made a few days ago while hunting. She had cubs waiting for her near a cliff not so far from there. But it was hard to reach with an injured body. The wolf suddenly scared and tried to run away. It wasn't possible with her situation. Rather she decided to maintain her distance. I wanted to help her.
"Don't be afraid" I tried to tell. Then I quickly realised it sounded like a weak whining.
Until the first lights of the day, we stayed put both surprised by me transforming into a wolf. My body was warmer because of the fur. My hearing was quite different than before. But the most astonishing feature was the sense of smell. I could tell that there was a river nearby and a group of wild boar drinking from it thanks to that. I jumped in joy. Being on four feet was somewhat liberating. I started to run and jump around.
She stepped back a little bit more not knowing how to react, probably. I remembered that she was hungry and in need of help. Grabbed the basket with my teeth and carried to her gently. Moved back a little bit after I put it on the ground near her. She got close bit by bit and I did the same while she was eating.
She got used to me easily, without feeling threatened by my existence she tried to rest and wait for her wounds to be healed. The problem was the cubs. They were waiting for hungry exposed to danger. I had to do something for them. The berries were not easy to carry up to the cliffs. I was in a situation that I wasn't considered to be. I had to hunt and kill a living breathing thing for the first time. I was eating plants, fruits and nuts so far never thought about that I have to kill a more conscious being.
Since I was a wolf now, It wasn't hard to hunt. Sharp claws, teeth, great sense of smell and high agility were helping a lot. For the killing part, I must say was quite effortless than I was expecting. Hard to explain but I may state that I had another conscious, instinct of a wolf inside me. So I attacked for the survival of those babies.
Two she-wolves raising half a dozen offspring somehow felt weird for both of us. However, we did it anyway. They were so small compared to us. At first, they were almost blind and deaf. Their fur was a little darker. They had small ears, rounded heads and little sense of smell. After I fed them with small pieces of the boars I kept hunting over a month, they gradually became able to stand, walk and growl. In a few months, they begun following us around, play fight among themselves, learned to return rendezvous point by themselves. On winter we hunted together. Our pack was strong, some of the young ones were almost sturdy to be considered adults, but not enough to disperse and create their packs.
It was the coldest day of the year so far. We found an elk herd near an open field. The pack was not sure to go hunt during a harsh blizzard. It would be hard to carry the prey even if it was possible to perform a hunt. We split according to our rules to assess the herd and found a wounded yet bigger enough to feed all of us well. Youngest wolf made her move sometime after, running back and forth to steer the herd on a tight spot. We made our move last to capture our prey. I let the strongest one make a final move on the elk's neck. He had a great build but in need of practice in order to create his pack. The hunt was a success.
Then we heard a loud noise. I looked at the direction of its origin. There I saw the trees were crumbling towards us. Howled to warn the pack. They didn't want to leave the prize but understood its necessity after a shadow longer than the trees, big as a hill had shown. The pack scattered but I wanted to see what kind of creature it was. Then I saw bear-like monster standing under the moonlight. It had a thick fur, dark as the night itself. Its eyes were lightning blue.
My body was paralyzed against its might. Mostly because in the middle of chewing the elk we'd just hunted, it looked at me in the eye.
"I had a dream about you" He stated calmly and took another bite.
I was shocked. It was a human language coming out of his mouth. But how? I was living in the body of a wolf for so long that I had almost forgotten about who I was before.
"Do you know who I am?" I answered The sound I made was involved with a mixture of growling and whining but somehow I was able to get the words out properly.
"You are not ready yet," he said dryly.
"What-do-you mean? Who are you?" the elks lower body was no longer with us.
"Our kin is in danger. Not only them, but the whole world is suffering from constipation. There will be a war soon. And it will have the power to destroy everyone on it." He stopped chewing for a second and continued.
"You are not ready to see me yet. I have been waiting for hundreds of years. But, I guess I will have to strain myself for a little bit more. You have to find your own path before convincing us to walk that one with you."
"You are a monster, aren't you. Just like me. How do you know all these?" I was now pretty close to him.
"I am not trying to be an enigmatic being. But I don't think that you would understand, even if I tell you."
"That is somewhat reassuring," I said.
"I had a dream about you when that thing gave you something and slightly a different thing to others. You see they are not bloodthirsty monkeys anymore. Which made them more vulnerable than ever. You have been chosen from the start to lead them. Whether you will accept or not, that's the truth." As the blizzard becoming more fierce, he turned his back.
"Come find me when you are ready." He walked through the gap between the fallen trees and disappeared.
I couldn't say anything more to him. I just stood there and watched him go. A young wolf approached me from the back with whining. She was our youngest. She was not as big as the others but she had an unnatural curiosity about everything and pure courage most of the times.
"I am okay, don't worry my child" I knew she wouldn't understand.
I must admit that being with the pack provided me with a peaceful escape from the world, from the unanswered questions about myself. But it was obvious that I can not run from my obligations anymore.
The morning after I attended my last hunt with the pack. They were going to be alright. I wasn't part of their family, to begin with. The day I left them, I am sure that every one of them knew. Our youngest wasn't around while I was howling goodbye.