Insecurities, Part 4

He's definitely hiding something from me.

"Damn it Yuji, can't you even trust me?" I sighed as I grabbed some snacks off the shelf. I don't feel like seeing him like that right now so I thought of taking a stroll somewhere.

After buying the stuff I need, I head some place who knows where. I kept staring at a distance while I sipping on my drink. "Haa… I should've brought an extra jacket."

Lately it's been too cold…

I'm happy but sometimes I feel like I'm suffocating, is this how it is being with Yuji? It's like a rollercoaster with so many twist and turns. I know he loves me but the way he pushes me away these past few days kinda hits hard. The way how restricted our relationship is, it's almost like a crime to hold his hand in public.

"Heh, but I'm not going to give up." I muttered, looking at the ring on my hand. Just because this relationship is turning cold, that won't be enough to turn me away.

Yuji… now that you're mine, there's no way I'll ever let you go. Not ever.

Though, I still have something to figure out. I've seen how Yuji was worrying over something earlier. What could it be? He's really cold when he's facing some kind of problem. Is he failing some of his subjects? …no, I don't think so. Yuji is too smart to fail.

"Hmm." No matter how much I think nothing comes to mind.

But… it couldn't be 'that', right?

He couldn't be…

But he could be.

Thinking of it already hurts. "Is he falling out of love?" If that's the possible case, there's no way I'll let him get rid of me. I already made up my mind that no one is turning back on this relationship. Yuji is staying with me forever, and so am I.

"If he ever dares, I'll do whatever it takes!" If he rather prefer a woman, then I'll use the rest of my money for a surgery to make myself one… well if he does. I'm prepared to do everything for his sake.

But if he fell for another then… I'll freaking seduce him! I'll make him realize that I'm more worth it. I'll make Yuji fall all over again!

"Damn it." I wiped my eyes on my sleeves. I swore to myself that I wouldn't cry when I'm overthinking things. Maybe I should just give him some space and time for a while. Maybe that's the best thing I could do for him for now.

I spent a few more hours relieving myself of these intoxicating thoughts before going back. And as I get closer, I get more nervous about seeing Yuji again. Is he still upset? What if he doesn't want to see me right now? Maybe I shouldn't show myself yet, but where the hell am I supposed to go if I still can't go back?

I took a deep breath as I opened the door, and Yuji was there preparing dinner. "What took you so long Toma? Let's eat dinner now." Thank goodness!

Seeing Yuji welcome me like this gave me a sense of relief. I came inside with a smile carved on my lips. "Sorry I'm late!"