My Friends

If words could skip out of my head and land neatly on a paper, only then will I have a chance to express myself correctly and perfectly. But though words spill out of my mind here and there, it seems they never do so properly nor do they do it in the right places. So then, I assume, I am terrible at expressing myself.

I wonder if I had told Serena how much I didn't want to fight her, not for her sake but Doctor's, would this calamity had been prevented? Or if not prevented entirely, surely not everything needed to be destroyed, right?

I could tell she was programmed to attack anyone who seemed like a threat to the server, but still it wasn't as simple for me to go down on her even if she was like that. Or perhaps, all the more because she was like that. Although I wasn't thinking of it yet, I think deep down I wanted to justify what Doctor had done to her. But I couldn't do that by eliminating Serena. She needed to live, fulfilled, without remorse of having lived an unfair, pointless life like my mother. It was seeped into me, the thought that someone should die an unfulfilling death after having lived an unfulfilling life, as the saddest failure imaginable.

"Serena", I broke the tension, "Would you let me pass?"

She wasn't essentially blocking my way but I asked the question anyway. Technically, she was in my way right then.

At first, she didn't reply so I began to wonder if her function for speaking was damaged or uninstalled but then she answered.

"Seraph, turn back", her voice was unlike her own, void of her signature cheekiness and childishness, very grave and sober.

There wasn't a point in insisting here, I knew she wouldn't budge. To be honest, I was conflicted as to how I should treat her. She wasn't human, or a projected mind like the villagers. If I killed her, she would be gone for real. But she was just a robot, as Lubbock said, her human part was lost a long time ago. So killing her was no more than dismantling her. It dawned on me then, that I had never killed a human. Why such a revelation came to me at such a time, I don't know. But I was unsettled by the mere occurrence of that thought.

"This is the last of my mother's work...please don't destroy it. Her life would go to waste. If you kill her, there would be no need to shut down the server. I do not want her to die unfulfilled."

Her sudden words rung so clearly and so true to me that I was left almost in a daze. I wanted to grab her then and shake her very core, all the while screaming, 'I think so too!'. I did no such thing, of course. I just stood there like an idiot. Doctor Ema had already planned this. She intended to use her life as the last bargaining chip to protect Agartha and Serena.

***************

Lubbock and Ema collided again and again with fierceness that was beyond human. They used every tool at their disposal in hopes to corrupt the other's data. Swords, bows, canons. zombies, anything you could possibly imagine. The mounds were turned into a battlefield. But the deletion proceeded behind them, threatening their existence in that realm.

"Why didn't you give up on her, Ema?", Lubbock was the calmer one.

Doctor, getting pushed back as their swords met, was gasping for breath.

"You wouldn't understand", she didn't seem to be angry anymore, just struggling, "Not after what we did."

"I've never blamed you, Ema. You were my friend. You and Argoll, both."

That name seemed to well up a storm inside Ema, as her eyes widened with a raging glint that subsided just as quickly like a wave disappearing on the shore.

"Argoll...", she hadn't remembered that name in a while, "He left because he couldn't take it. He regretted it too, but he ran away instead of taking responsibility. We wanted to save you...we were sorry to have been so..."

Lubbock pushed her back, not too hard but enough to put some distance between them.

"Why were you hiding out here for so long?", Lubbock asked, ignoring her comment, "Were you that afraid of me?"

"Afraid...was that what we were?", she looked up to stare into his eyes, "We weren't afraid of you! We were trying to create a world where a you wouldn't exist. A world that won't need something so tragic, so extreme. If in any way, we could achieve that-"

"You would have a paradise", Lubbock finished her sentence, "How's your paradise looking now?"

She chuckled weakly, "It isn't even wrong...you being spiteful. I kept trying...you asked me why I didn't give up on Serena, it's because I knew it was a punishment. Because we put you through that, so it was karma getting to me. It was like I was cursed by you. But you wouldn't curse me, would you?"

Lubbock broke into a laughter. He threw his head back and let his laughter ring through the green mounds that were fading gradually. Doctor Ema couldn't hold back, seeing him, she broke down in tears. Even though she firmly held on to her ground, refusing to get down on her weakened knees, she shed bitter tears that hadn't been shed in so long, she had forgotten their warmth.

Moments later, one of them disappeared forever at the hands of the other.