Chapter 21

I turn from one side to another on my bed, with my heart in my mouth as I think about what he did.

What did just happen?

I look at the ceiling, while Alex's attitude clouds my thoughts: I know that Alex is impulsive, but today he really exaggerated. I wipe a tear with my index finger, as my eyes fall on the bright redness in the lower part of my hand.

I really felt fear, fear of Alex, who I always saw as the man who would defend me from everyone, as my man.

I am seriously disappointed: I have never given him reason to be not a good woman, or to cheat on him, much less with Louis, the kindest and most innocent person I have ever met.

How could he even think that I made myself beautiful for another man?

The scene returns to repeat in front of my eyes, but I am interrupted by the pillow shaking under my head.

At first I get scared, then I look around with a frown, but suddenly I remember hiding Alex's phone under the covers, so I get up quickly and start shifting the sheets like crazy.

I find it, then I take it in my hands, then move a lock from my eyes and run my tongue between my lips.

This is not right.

Or maybe it is... after all I won't lose anything, things between me and Alex couldn't be worse, and tonight I had the sad proof of it.

I turn on the phone and go back to the message box with my hands shaking, immediately clicking on the name of the woman who these days is driving me crazy for the doubts that are whirling in my head.

I notice that she has sent other messages to Alex, and that he has replied:

* Will you cover me at work tomorrow? * - the message is from him, and it gives me confirmation that they work together.

I don't know whether to calm down or worry even more, also because that means they spend more time together, in theory, given that Alex works two days a week.

* What do I have in return? * - I widen my eyes, especially for the little face with a wink that accompanies the text of the message. She is literally inviting Alex to have sex with her.

* The usual. * - without being able to control them, tears begin to roll down my cheeks, having just confirmed what I feared.

I throw the phone on the other side of the bed, not worrying about it falling to the ground and shattering into a thousand pieces, so much is the end that Alex has done to my heart.

I literally feel broken, angry and surrendered at the same time.

He gets mad at me in such an awkward way for meeting a guy at a business dinner, when he goes to this bitch's house and ...

I sink my head into the pillow, stifling a sob:

'I hate you to death, as I have never hated anyone before!' - are the words I would like to spit in his face, but at this point I don't think he would care.

In fact, even tonight's jealousy drama seems fake to me.

Probably he's just trying to find a way to leave me, damn it!

I try to come back to myself and I delude myself that the meaning of those messages is different and that for 'the usual' Alex did not intend to enter her underpants, but something else.

I also delude myself that he really got jealous of Louis and that all that anger he took out on me was actually a way of telling me that he is afraid of losing me.

I try to convince myself not to make anything crazy, but at the same time I decide to find out more: I raise my head from the pillow and reach out to grab the contraption.

I type on the screen without even thinking twice, then send another message to the woman, with my eyes full of tears and my cheeks wet.

* Catherine, I want to meet you one of these days ... * - I bite the inside of my cheek, feeling slightly guilty, but then I send it before I regret it.

The response is almost immediate, which makes my blood boil for the anger I feel for this unknown woman.

* You just can't live a second without me, huh? * - she sends that mischievous face again, while I squeeze the phone between my fingers and contract my jaw.

* Yeah * -I reply with a lot of courage, instead of insuling her or even calling her to make her understand not to see my asshole again.

* We'll see tomorrow, right? Will you skip work again? *

* I don't know. * -I send, with even more courage than before.

* So I'll see you tomorrow at 4:00 pm at my house * -she answers few seconds later, so I narrow my eyes: she says it as if it was not the first time that Alex has asked her to go to her house.

God, I'll get crazy!

I take a deep breath and try not to break his phone in thousands of pieces on the floor.

* Send me the address *-I hasten to write on the screen again and waiting for her answer in silence.

* You know where I live. * - I refrain from screaming after her words, fearing even to wake Juliet for the loud tone of my voice.

* I forgot. * -I reply, hoping she doesn't suspect anything.

I don't even know if I should hate this woman or not. Probably she doesn't even know that bastard has a girlfriend.

God, I hate him so much!

She sends the address after a few moments, which makes me satisfied, but then a series of questions repeat themselves in my head and I keep shaking again for the fear.

What if Alex goes to work tomorrow and meets her?

What if he understands what I've been up to with his phone?

My heart rises in my throat as I think of a solution before the situation goes out of control.

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