C40: Evangeline

Ever since the night Victor and I found out that my life is in danger, he started staying in my house – at first, he offered his place for me to stay, but I felt uncomfortable even if his house is nice. It's not that I feel unsafe, but because being in my art room helps me release my stress – something his house doesn't have. There's still the thing called 'comfort of my own home.' I wanted to be alone, but I was too scared to be. If I'll be really honest, I can imagine how scary he's supposed to be if I didn't become considerate.

He's a murder.

He was.

But that doesn't change the fact that I'm letting an old murder stay in my house – Megan may have the suspicion that he's a criminal, but that's not how I met Victor. I've seen his change of heart. He's not the murder named Lancelot, but a person who started living a new life and that is, Victor. We've known each other for a couple of months now – four months to be precise, but being with him almost every day of the week makes me feel like I've known him for years.

I believe the greatest reason why I trusted him was when he opened up who he really is. The person he used to be, the people he killed, and even the task given to him to kill me. The irony is, instead of killing me, he's the one protecting me all this time.

Of course, they will certainly ask him what's taking him long, and that's what I'm worried about. It's not only I who's in danger now, but it could be him, too. Dragging him to my mess is the last thing I want to do, but whether we like it or not, none of these are under control. We have no idea if someone's watching us from afar as we stay in the house 'til we work at the restaurant, or whenever we go somewhere. The very thought of being followed everywhere sent shivers in my spine, but I kept on telling myself that I shouldn't overthink this because it won't help in any way.

The people broke who in my house happened two weeks ago, but it feels like it was a long time already. I couldn't stand the thought of doing nothing. But some questions that keep on coming to my mind countless times each day ever since what happened to me – Of all the people, why would uncle want me to be gone? Why were Giovanni and I being in the watch list of murders? Is uncle aware of Giovanni's death, and he's only hiding it from me?

It's funny how I think about Giovanni more often than myself. How can I not? He's been like a brother to me. We spent a lot of time together whenever I'm visiting this country back then, and sometimes, he'll visit me in the US for vacation, at least three to four times a year. We talk online almost every day, so it feels like we're each other's diaries. But he never told me anything that will give anyone a desire to kill him.

So why?

I typed Giovanni's name on my online messaging app to read our old conversation, but as I read, I truly cannot find any piece of evidence. However, I do remember him telling me that he has a best friend – Ivan Brezuela.

With that sudden memory, I searched him from Giovanni's friends list and I found his profile. A guy with one knee down, holding a small red box on his palm, proposing to his fiancée/wife with the Burj al Arab behind them. Wow, what an interesting picture. There must be a cool story behind it.

Too bad I didn't experience anything like that from Justin.

Enough. He's supposed to be the last person I should think about at the moment.

I clicked on the Message button on the upper right of his profile and started typing my concern about Giovanni.

///

Me: Hello Ivan. I'm not sure if we talked in person before or Giovanni simply mentioned you to me. How are you? Although I don't know how busy you may be, so I'll be straight to the point, hoping that this won't be rude – I want to ask what you know about Giovanni's death. It's not like you're a suspect or anything like that, but I want to know the last things that he did before he was murdered or the possible reasons why someone did that to him. He's one of the nicest people I know, and I can't even think of a reason why a person would be interested to do such a cruel thing. I can't manage to have a peaceful mind having all the thoughts, so instead of presuming, I'd rather ask. In fact, I should've asked sooner, but somehow I never thought of talking to you. I hope this message will reach you well. Have a nice day, and sorry for bothering you if I ever was. God bless you.

///

Somehow, messaging the guy removed part of my troubled mind because asking him gave me a small hint that I'm getting closer to answering my questions. If my uncle won't tell me, I have to find things out by myself. Victor has nothing to do with Giovanni, so I'd rather keep this from him. He had enough troubles of his own.

It's Wednesday, and normally since this is my day-off, I'll have a date out with Victor. But at some point, we both felt like there are more important things to do than that. Even if we're temporarily living under one roof, I felt so distant from him ever since he admitted who he really is. My role, however, is not to judge him, but to help him be pulled out of the darkness.

I went downstairs and headed to the living room where my painting, 'Remnants of Departed days' was posted. I may not be aware of the reason why I painted this before, but now I do. When I first showed him this, he said that he can relate, and now I see why. The setting of the painting was a garden of cypress flowers and its trees and there are a man and a woman in the middle of the painting. Long before I painted this, I gave an interest in knowing the meaning of flowers, and cypress means sorrow, despair, death. Victor may have somehow managed to have freedom from the life that he used to live, a life full of darkness, but that freedom causes him to be shattered into pieces just like the man in the painting. I know that he's happy that he's no longer the person he used to be, but I know that deep in his heart are struggles.

He may not be admitting it, but I can feel it. I may never have told him about my observation, but even in times where he's smiling or laughing, his eyes are somehow full of sadness. I don't know if I'm supposed to tell him that or ask what else is troubling him aside from the things that I know, but I simply can't find the right words. The man in the painting has a sad smile, and so does he, at some point. Putting myself in the shoes of the woman in the painting, it feels like I'm the one who's pulling him out of his past – the garden which is half-burning.

There will always be remnants of his past, but Lancelot is gone. The days of Lancelot are gone. He's Victor, a man who's starting a new life out of darkness, and I'll do whatever it takes to help him with that. I do believe that people deserve second chances, and they're not their past. That's something that I kept on telling him, and yet, I know that he's not completely convinced.

Meanwhile, as I reflect in front of the painting, my phone began ringing, and it's a call from the person I'm thinking about just now – Victor.

"Hey, you called," I responded, because 'hello' is cliché.

"This may be a random question but … do you love animals?" I chuckled as I hear the unexpected question, completely breaking the serious thing I've been reflecting about.

"I love them. I haven't mentioned that I have a cat and a dog back in the US, right? Dad must be taking care of them now. Thankfully, he doesn't have allergies." I replied.

"I want to give you a gift, and I've been thinking if it should be a pet. Something that can entertain you in the house to lessen the tension after what happened recently. Should I get you a dog or a cat?"

"Woah, I didn't expect that from you. Well, I guess I'll go for a cat," Megan loves cats as well, so perhaps when I invite her over, I can introduce that to her.

"Noted. Male or female?"

"Female. I'll name her Catherine," I giggled as my heart started racing, and I held myself from jumping as excitement filled each nerve in my body.

"Woah, that was fast for you to think about. Why Catherine?"

"Easy. Cat. Catherine. Besides, I always give my pets royal names. You see, there's Catherine de Medici, Catherine of Aragon, Queen Catherine of Russia, and other queen Catherines. There are lots. The cat that I left in the US was named Elizabeth. My dog's name is Charles. After all, my dog's breed was Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. So it suits the name well. My cat was a Norwegian Forest cat. Now I miss them. I completely forgot about them ever since I got here. I'm such a bad, irresponsible owner! I didn't think of them 'til now!"

Victor laughed from the other side of the line, perhaps because of amusement, hearing me overreact.

"I'll get you a Main Coon, if that sounds good?"

"You're spoiling me too much. Maine Coon would be great! They're big cats, which also means they can be huggable. Do you have a thing with cats too?"

"They're okay. I used to have a dog, though. But I wouldn't say it's because I love dogs. Someone just gave it to me. I had a Pitbull."

"Woah, pitbull? You can't be serious! They're dangerous creatures!"

"Hn … what does that make me? Anyways, you don't have to cook for dinner. I'll cook for you. I just bought some ingredients. See you later."

I want to shrug off the feeling, but seeing us talking like this feels like we're married. I mean, us talking about what to cook for dinner. It gives me slight anxiety on what will dad say once he'll find out that Victor and I are temporarily living together. I wonder how long we're going to be like this?

We can't be like this forever. If I'll focus on my feelings, it feels right. But the real thing is, even if it sounds like the current best option for my safety, it's also wrong.

Part of me says that.

Perhaps my worries about him would fade once I find out the reason why there are always sadness in his eyes – that behind those cold eyes are pain and sadness that I couldn't imagine, nor understand. Why am I having the feeling that he's not telling me everything?

My phone beeped as I turn the Wi-Fi icon on, and it was a message from Ivan Brezuela. Finally! I wasn't expecting his reply to come this soon.

///

Ivan: Eve. I remember you. Giovanni mentioned to you before, but I don't remember us meeting. I can tell you some information that only you have the right to know because he's close to you. However, I don't want to discuss it here. If you're available, I'd like us to meet tomorrow at 3 pm.