C17: Evangeline

Okay, let's see. A pair of high heels, a bracelet watch, two dresses, a pair of boots, a bag, a pair of dangling earrings, liquid foundation, moisturizer, eyeshadow kit, mascara, liquid eyeliners, lipstick, some snacks, juice … what else do I need? I have this strong feeling that I'm forgetting something.

What else do I need for a party?

Ugh. Seriously, I should hold my horses. It feels like, among all these that I bought, I'm missing something. But then, at least I have these and I want to believe that this should be enough. The rest of the things are probably available at home. This day isn't a day of shopping, but a day of preparing for a party at my place. Now that I think about it, 15 people aren't much. Perhaps I can handle all the preparations alone. Besides, I mentioned that there'll only be snacks and no dinner.

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Eight hours later, the girls from the Home for the broken-hearted girls Facebook group arrived. Everything looked simple – everything is in its original place, the floors are clean, the temperature is just fine as it should, and light music is being played in the background. Five different bowls of different kinds of snacks are prepared on the table, it's only up to them which to choose – Doritos, Cheetos, Lay's, Ruffles, and Hickory sticks are served.

For the sweet lovers, different kinds of chocolate bars are placed next to the snacks, as well as the crystal-clear glasses for the fruit punch and soft drinks. I'm having thoughts of opening a bottle of red wine. I don't feel like it, but in case someone asks for it, I can manage.

This isn't exactly a big party, but mainly a small gathering for girls so that we can have a heart to heart talks.

"Good evening everyone!" I greeted as I went downstairs where everyone's waiting, my arms up high that matches my high energy. The girls stood up and we all hugged each other. Seeing every brokenhearted girl in this group with a wide smile in their faces gives my heart some warmth, knowing how hard they've been through. Yet now, some of us are together, helping each other with our burdens.

"Hey Evangeline, what happened to you recently? Can you share the story better?" Luvenia, one of the girls in the group requested, her eyes filled with worry. "You're the latest BH in our group."

We all went to the living room. Instead of sitting on the sofa with limited space, I freed up the area, removed the low glass table and we all sat on the carpet together in a circle. Claire, Cassandra, Alice, Pricilla, and Kenny headed to the kitchen and brought all the foods that I prepared and put it down the carpet, right in the middle of our circle.

The girls sat down on their chosen space, the five practically sitting next to each other. Everyone's looking at me while I articulate my thoughts. It took me time to find a good starting point until I finally gathered everything in my head.

"A few weeks ago, he admitted that he was cheating. He looked too guilty, even though he said, 'he found himself spending time with her, but they didn't do anything immoral.' He said he wants to fix our relationship and he resigned to stay away from her, but since I didn't buy it, I grilled him. I forced him to tell me what else I should know because I can sense that what he said wasn't the entire truth. He confessed everything. I laughed, shouted, and cried at once. If I were a dragon, I would've breathed fire on him. That's it." I explained while the pictures of what happened a few weeks ago flashed back in my mind.

I pressed my lips together, my hands growing cold, curling into a fist. My stomach felt like lurching as I hear myself express all of those verbally. The burden I've been keeping in my chest felt like it all went out, but saying those made me feel empty. I think it's a good and a bad thing, but I don't know which of the two should I consider.

I looked away from them as I bit my lip, the silence of the place deafening. Hardly anyone talked. When I heard Shana sniffing, wiping her eyes with tears, my chest felt like it was being squeezed, until I found my tears rolling down my cheeks.

My eyes welled up in tears.

Suzy caressed my back, which made me cry more even though she intended to comfort me. Suzy and Alexa hugged me, while everyone else is watching. This is so awkward. I kept on telling myself that I shouldn't cry in front of everyone, yet, I'm too weak.

"I'm sorry if I'm being dramatic, but I just don't understand it, you know? I created the Home for the brokenhearted girls support group years ago, which was when I first had my heart broken because I've been cheated. Why am I always not enough? Was being conservative a problem? Why do guys keep on cheating on me?" Trina handed me some tissues and I pulled some piles of it to wipe my eyes and blow my nose.

"Most of the people in the group got cheated, had family approval issues, long-distance relationships that didn't work, death, and being lied to. There's a lot more, but those are the common ones. But even though that's the case, just think of it this way – it's better to know it earlier than being in an embarrassing way. You don't deserve him. You deserve someone better." Eleanor advised as she stood up, taking a bottle of soft drinks in her hand and raised it. "For all the girls here who had their heart broken for different reasons, happy independence day!" she announced, lifting the dead mood caused by me.

The rest of the girls stood up and danced a bit, right in time with the rhythm of the background music that I turned on earlier. Some others crawled closer to the bowls of snacks, getting some of it for their pleasure. Thanks to Eleanor, the life of the party kind of girl, who made things interesting.

Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves as some let their feet move them in time with the music, ate snacks, and eventually, started talking about heart-to-heart talks. Some girls opened up, some are inspiring the rest how she managed to move on and some were there to comfort.

I looked at all of them as they exchanged each other's thoughts that lifted the spirits of every broken girl. The girls shared laughter, a gigantic grin spreading across their faces, their moods lighter than air. It was as if nothing happened. I love how everyone helped each other and it would've been greater if the rest of the members of our group from different countries are here. It helps to spend time with people who can understand.

However, the next announcement that I'll make makes my heart ache. Their reactions are all clear in my head, long before I see them before my eyes.

"Ladies, I have something to tell you," I stood up for the sake of formality and I heaved a breath, letting it all out before I say it. "I'm truly grateful that we all managed to be together in this small and simple gathering. Seeing everyone helping, comforting, and inspiring each other truly warms my heart. But at the same time, I want to say a temporary goodbye, because my father from the Philippines told me that I should replace him and handle our business on his behalf. I'm … leaving North Carolina by on March 6 and arrive there on March 7."