Backstory 2

Gumulo lahat nung dumating si Ken, pagkatapos namin mag hang out ng araw na iyon a few weeks passed and naconfirm namin na nagkagustuhan na nga si Ken at Ate Harris, turns out na sway "daw" yung feelings niya from ate Heidi to ate Harris just because nalaman niyang interesado din sakanya si ate Harris. Naging magkaibigan pa din naman Sila ate Heidi at Harris pero mararamdaman mo na parang may pader na namamagitan sakanila lalo na nung naging official sila ni Ken.

Mas madalas na kaming naging magkasama ni Ken at Zion noong mga araw na iyon, minsan sumasama si ate Harris pero naging busy siya and parang naging distant lately. Naging close na din kami ni Ken, we joked a lot back then, had fun together, pero noon iyon malayo na sa ngayon. Long story short, na divert sakin yung attention ni Ken noong mga araw na iyon for some reason, akala ko nung una dahil hindi na sila nagkakasama masyado ni ate Harris at kami na ang magkasama pero hindi pala.

One day Zion confessed to me, may gusto daw siya sa akin simula pa noong unang lumipat sila malapit sa amin. I ignored his statement kasi magkaibigan kami and we should remain like that, we're better that way.

Ken knew about it, turns he's a jerk na selfish and ayaw nalalamangan kaya he told me he liked me back then. Nagulat ako from his confession and somehow iba yung naramdaman ko towards him kesa nung si Zion yung kaharap ko. Oo I had a crush on him and it should've remained that way kung hindi niya ako pinakitaan ng motibo, pinaasa at iniwan ng ganon ganon lang. We started talking everyday non stop, kapag nag hahang out kami yung jokes namin and harutan it seemed like nag fliflirt kami sa isa't isa whatever we do, masakit yun sa part ni Zion na napag iiwanan namin siya those days pero tapos na yon. Ken and Harris broke up and naging kami immediately, oo wala nang ligaw ligaw. Alam ni ate Harris yung nangyayari pero she remained okay with it. We spent our time together everyday noon and hindi ko mapagkakaila na I was the happiest back then pero those are memories I want to forget and all.

One day naging cold sakin si Ken, I would text him pero pag nag reply siya hours ang pagitan telling me na busy siya, na tulog siya, na wala siyang gana. I was too naive back then kaya I kept believing na normal lang yun pero it became a habit of his na iignore ako on a daily basis na isang araw hindi na siya nag reply. Blinock ko siya from all my social media accounts, nagpalit din ako ng Facebook ko and all, I was too frustrated back then. He moved to a new school habang ako nag stay ako, yung galit ko noon, yung tantrums ko naipasa ko lahat kay Zion noon. Isang araw I threw him off, by telling him na napaka pathetic niya to still leech off me na parang aso siyang aalialigid, I told him na I was tired of seeing him appear in my face everyday na hindi naman siya yung gusto kong makita, makausap at makasama. I must have took the last draw out of him na he shouted back at me telling me na mas pathetic ako and all, na malandi ako for sticking with Ken and stealing him from my own cousin, How idiot I have become everytime kay Ken, he told me na this was my karma for being so selfish and insensitive towards people around me like him or ate Harris. "I F*CKIN DESPISE YOU DABRIEN FOR EVERYTHING, MABUTI LANG SAYO YAN KASI WALA KANG ALAM ISIPIN KUNDI YANG SARILI MO, WALA KANG KWENTANG TAO LALO NA'T KUNG SINO YUNG NAGMAMALASAKIT SAYO YUN PA YUNG GINAG*GO MO, DON'T YOU EVER CONTACT ME AGAIN OR COME INTO MY FACE AGAIN SANTOS, I WILL F*CKIN HATE YOU HANGGANG SA MAMATAY AKO FOR TREATING ME THIS WAY, WALA KANG KARAPATAN PARA G*GUHIN AKO NG GANTO!" after that he stormed out at wala akong nagawa kundi umiyak, that day sobra akong nagsisi and narealize ko lahat lahat nang katangahan na ginawa ako, gustong gusto ko mag sorry kay Zion pero wala akong lakas ng loob na gawin yun even up to this day. We don't talk, sa malayo pa lang pag nakikita ko siya umaalis na kaagad ako, that's how ashamed I am, kahit ako hindi ko mapapatawad yung sarili ko after that.

After a month nabalitaan ko na naging si ate Harris na ulit at Ken, nagkita sila dun sa bago nilang school and got back together just like that. Sobrang sakit, lalo na pag nakikita ko si ate Harris, I shouldn't hate her pero sa loob loob ko I do, we don't talk about sa nakaraan nor sa relationship nila ni Ken pero alam kong alam niyang alam ko na yung nangyayari. One time nga nakita ko si Ken na pumunta sa bahay nila to deliver flowers to Harris, sinundan ko siya agad nung umalis siya and told him to explain kahit papaano sakin king bakit niya ginawa sa akin yun. Turns out hindi niya pala talaga niya ako nagustuhan, he told me na narinig niyang nag confess sa akin si Zion and didn't want to be left out kaya sinulot niya na lang ako mula kay Zion and didn't think na mapapaibig niya ako ng ganun ka bilis, sabi niya he tried to love me back, he was extra nice, extra sweet to me noon kasi ayaw niyang malaman ko na wala talaga siyang gusto sa akin, na si Harris pa rin pala talaga yung gusto niya. Kaya nung nararamdaman niya nang nagiging masyado nang seryoso yung relationship namin he started backing out and decided na iwan niya na lang ako, to transfer to another school specifically sa school ni Harris to pursue her again. NASAMPAL ko siya after niya mag salita, then he instantly left me while ako naman umiiyak.

Nung second year ako mas naging eager ako for a fresh start dahil sobra akong na devastate from that incident, yung request ng mom ko na lumipat, I took that as a chance to escape from everything, the pain, the memories, the people. Mas gusto ko na lang mag suffer dito kesa sa ma istuck ako sa lugar na iyon kung saan nakakasulasok, nakakasakal, bawat kanto may alaalang di malilimutan. Mas okay nang mag hirap ako dito kesa sa bumalik doon at magtiis ng paulit ulit.