Ch.29

As I arrive at the Dunphy's house I can see Phil setting up the house with a giant fake wooden house sign. It was a hideous lime green and yellow colored house, with a large name painted on it calling his set up, 'Awesome Land' and it even had a '™' at the end. Like he plans on making this into an actual 'fun house' like at a carnival. 

I can see Phil doing the finishing touches on the fake wooden house. Claire is outside looking at the decorations Phil has set up with a face of dismay. Though she is wearing her business suit, as she plans on going into the office today. On her favorite holiday too, though that is the life of most working adults. 

"Hey Phil, Mrs. Dunphy," I say to them as I walk up to see all of this. 

"Hi, broski! What's hanging?!" Phil says giving me a rock and roll sign as I chuckle. 

"Hey Gabe," Claire says while sighing and looking back at the nonhorror decorations. 

"Not much same old same old," I say to Phil who nods his head going back to his final touches. 

I walk inside at the same time their neighbors come outside to see this. I just sigh knowing what is most likely about to happen. Walking inside I hear Luke playing some video games in the living room, with Haley in her room in the basement most likely. Then making my way up to Alex's room, I entered it as the door was not closed all the way plus I noticed Alex seemed to just have gotten out of the shower. 

'Nice,' I think to myself walking in and seeing Alex bushing her hair with just a towel on. 

I grab her and give her a kiss on the neck making her yelp not seeing me. Then she laughs while grabbing my head and holding me by her neck. She smelled amazing and looking down I can see the amazing chest that seems to grow a little bit every year. Already surpassing everyone in her family almost reaching a Gloria level chest. 

"Damn, if only we were completely alone," I say as she chuckles while noticing me staring at her chest. 

"You came early," Alex says to me as I shrug. 

"Nothing else was happening, plus Olivia is going with my parents to her friend's house this year for trick or treating," I say as I hold Alex close to me enjoying her warmth. 

"Well close the door, I have to change," Alex says as I release her and close the door. Turning around I see she dropped the towel while smirking at me as I just check her out. 

"I think when we live together you should consider being a nudist at home and when we are alone," I say while taking in all the eye candy as Alex laughs while slowly putting on her clothes teasing me. 

"I could say the same to you too," Alex says as I laugh now too. 

"Deal!" I say as we both laugh. 

"Kids! Come here! I need your help!!" Claire says as Alex finishes up changing her clothes much to my displease taking my Halloween Candy from me. 

"What for?!" Alex says as we make our way down to see Claire in the kitchen while hanging items to Luke who has a look of annoyance on his face. 

"What's going on?" Haley says at the same time we walk into the kitchen and see this.

"Your Dad had to run to the store to grab some other supplies. Though the jerks next door challenged me! So we are going to make some changes while your Dad is not here," Claire says while walking over to the garage and giving everyone some orders for what she wants us to do. 

As we bring a bunch of stuff outside Claire grabs a piece of scrap wood and covers up the old sign on the fake house. She then writes on the new sign, 'Haunted Insane Asylum' while using other decorations to cover the ugly house up. 

"Sometimes I feel like this place is an insane asylum," I say to Alex with Haley and Luke hearing me too as we place other decorations outside. They all laugh hearing me and agreeing with me, as Claire looks over at us with a confused face. 

"What? This not scary enough?" Claire says thinking we are laughing at her decorations while stepping back and looking at her handy work. Just then Phil pulls up having finally come back from his store run. 

"Oh, here comes Dad. He's gonna be like, 'No! What did you do?! Where's Awesome Land!!'," Haley says while mimicking what her father sounds like.

"NO! What did you do?! Where's Awesome Land!!" Phil says while quickly running out of his car and looking very upset at the change of scenery. 

"Are you from the future?" Luke says since Haley perfectly predicted what her Dad was going to say. 

"Phil! Honey, honey! We had a little change of plans," Claire says as Phil is looking around at the changes with a sad and annoyed look. 

"Why?! What are you even doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?" Phil says with a very annoyed face now. 

"That obnoxious Ronnie was worried that I would be able to handle his decorations, cause he is trying to win this scariest house on the street contest. And I was like, Not only can I handle your decorations, I am gonna win that contest. So! Welcome to the Insane Asylum from Hell!!" Claire says with a very proud look at what she has done with our help so far. 

"That's what it feels like!" Phil says with an annoyed look, as I can't help but laugh out loud. Claire looks over to me with an annoyed look, while Phil gestures to me like I agree with him. 

"Oh, come on! It's gonna be fun! The kids are gonna be deranged mental patients and I'm going to be sadistic Nurse! And you are a demented Doctor!"Claire says with a very proud look at her idea for this year's Halloween. 

"Twenty years of 'no', but for this you'll dress like a nurse!" Phil says trying to be quiet but we all still hear him. 

"Gross!" Haley and Alex say at the same time as Luke looks confused, I just try not to laugh again. 

"Of course, the woman is the nurse and the man is the doctor! That kind of thinking, that's what's scary!" Alex says adding to that point hearing her Mom's suggestion for the costumes. 

"Tap out it's a holiday," Haley says to Alex with an annoyed voice that is used to hearing Alex complain about whatever. Alex just gives Haley a glare, while Luke and I just keep our heads down and keep finishing up decorating. 

"You know I put a lot of time and energy into my thing," Phil says with a sad and defeated voice. 

"But you just shut it all down to prove something to people we barely know and even like!" Phil says with more fire in his voice now getting more annoyed again. 

"Phil, Ronnie made fun of Awesome Land. He called it, 'Candy Land'," Claire says trying to persuade Phil. 

"So?" Phil says not caring making me nod my head liking Phil's not caring about people's opinions of him that he doesn't even know or like. 

"Stupid Vill, Dumb Burg," Claire says trying to convince Phil, even though now I think she might just be lying to get Phil to agree with her. 

"So?! Who cares what he thinks!" Phil says as I nod my head to him giving him a thumbs up. 

"Thanks, Gabe!" Phil says as Claire looks over seeing me agreeing with Phil as she gives me a very annoyed look. 

"Maybe someday you'll care what I think," Phil says walking away from Claire very upset but giving me a thankful nod. 

"Gabe, want to help me with something?" Phil says and I shrug following after him inside, as Claire just sighs seeing us. Though Alex, Haley, and Luke don't really care either way so just keep decorating as their Mom told them to do earlier. 

"I got this suit from the store and bought an outfit for everyone… But it seems you and I are the only ones going to do the Awesome Land theme!" Phil says handing me a rainbow-colored suit, with a Monkey eating a banana t-shirt to wear underneath the suit jacket. 

Phil however, was wearing a rainbow-colored tuxedo with a smiley face t-shirt underneath his tux jacket. Phil also had a top hat he was wearing with his outfit. 

"I got these face paints too, but they were gonna be for Alex and Haley," Phil says as I take one, with him giving me a confused look. 

"What? I want to look like a clown… Oh, right… Never mind," I say with Phil giving me a scared look, which he hid almost immediately. 

"No, no you can do that… uhm, just you know… uh, please don't jump scare me," Phil says as I nod my head while putting on the clown makeup. 

We then walk outside to see Luke wearing a straitjacket and hospital gown, with some fake bloodie bandages tied to his head. While Alex was wearing a hospital gown and restraints while lying in a raggedy hospital bed. Haley was doing some touch-ups on Luke's outfit while wearing a hospital gown and makeup to make herself appear more 'sexy'. Claire was wearing a very bloody stereotypical Halloween nursing outfit, with makeup to make her appear more 'insane'. 

"Phil! Gabe! You guys aren't even gonna try on your costumes?" Claire says seeing us wearing the 'fun' outfits. 

"Nope," Phil says with a deadpan look as he is very upset with Claire right now. Alex gives me a look over before laughing at my outfit as I do some poses for her.

"But, we're gonna win! Doesn't that make you happy?" Claire says while gesturing to all around at the outfits and decorations. 

"Do I look happy? You gotta a problem lady! This obsessive need to be dark and scary! You can't even stop yourself!" Phil says while placing his hands on his hips making his tight tex jacket's buttons pop off and showing his smiley face t-shirt. 

"I can stop whenever I want," Claire says trying not to yell back at Phil now annoyed at him too. 

"Well, Gabe and I are not getting sucked in," Phil says while pointing to me as I am taking a few pictures with Alex so can keep them to make fun of me later. It seems my wearing this has her laughing hysterically. 

"See! Gabe and Alex are having fun! Plus I'm gonna have the Halloween I wanted!" Phil says while taking out a yo-yo from almost nowhere, and doing a quick trick with it. 

"What is all this?" a woman with blonde hair and looking to be around Claire's and Phil's age walks over. She is most definitely the wife of their neighbor Ronnie, whom Claire keeps talking about. 

"Is this supposed to be funny?" the woman says with a southern twang in her voice and while looking around with a horrified look. Though to me she is just pretending to be horrified by these decorations. 

"No, it's supposed to be scary!" Claire says to her. 

"No! It's supposed to be awesome!" Phil says with an annoyed look to Claire. 

"You know I could tell you guys didn't love us moving in next door. Maybe cause Ronnie deals pot or maybe cause of my Confederate Flag Bikini. I don't know, but… but I thought we were becomin' friends. I was gonna propose a joint Thanksgiving, but… really low!" the woman says who I assume is Ronnie comes from the house and walks over behind her now. The woman is trying to pretend to be sincere but I can tell it is just an act, though she is very good at this pretending. 

"No, honey, it's ok," the man I assume is Ronnie says while trying to comfort the woman. 

'Damn the two know how to really sell something,' I think as we all watch this happen. 

"No, it's not ok, Ronnie! It's rude and it's cruel! I wish we had our old house, so we could drive it away as far as possible!" the woman says while stomping away and back to their house with her husband Ronnie watching her leave.

"Uh, Amber gets touchy about this stuff… Uh, she–" Ronnie says while looking back to make sure his wife is out of hear shot.

"She spent six months in a cuckoo farm in Nevada. I'm sorry, she gets mad when I say that… It was in Utah," Ronnie says as I just stare at the man who is just as good at acting as his wife. 

'This fucking guy,' I think as I just sigh internally. 

"Oh, my God," Phil says with a surprised and sorry look.