desperation leads to recklessness.

"AHHHH!"

As my eyes snapped open, a sudden cry escaped my mouth, jolting me awake from the nightmare.

My body was drenched in cold sweat as I sat up in bed, my heart pounding like a drum in my chest.

"Huff... Huff..."

The remnants of the nightmare still clung to the edges of my consciousness, sending shivers down my spine as I struggled to catch my breath.

"Where... am... I?"

Frantically, I glanced around the dimly lit room.

Shadows danced in the flickering candlelight, casting eerie shapes upon the walls.

But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake the feeling of dread that gripped me like a vice, squeezing the air from my lungs and filling me with an overwhelming sense of panic.

"It's... my room... don't panic... don't... panic..."

Gasping for air, I reminded myself, burying my face in my hands.

My body trembled with fear as I fought to regain control of my racing thoughts.

But the memories of what happened still lingered like a dark cloud, haunting me with their twisted imagery and unsettling events.

"Was that an angel? Why did they summon me? What the hell did I do?"

Questions flooded my mind as I tried to think of anything that could give me a clue.

But I couldn't think of anything except the possibility that they might know I'm not from this world.

"Why does this keep happening to me?"

In the darkness of the room, I felt utterly alone, the weight of my fears pressing down upon me like a suffocating blanket.

"Fuck... Men don't cry... fuck."

Tears welled up in my eyes, hot and stinging as they spilled down my cheeks in silence. I desperately tried to stop myself from crying.

"Urgh..."

As my senses returned, the pain once again assaulted my body.

All the damage my body had endured because of a single word from the Angel.

The twisted internal organs of mine cried in pain as once again I remembered how utterly powerless I am in this world.

"I need to get stronger," I mumbled as I closed my eyes, fighting against all the pain that threatened to consume my body.

"I need to get... urgh... stronger," I mumbled again as I tried to get up from the bed.

My room was still the same as I remembered, but there was one more thing: a basket full of fruits and a knife to cut them.

Ignoring the fruits, I picked up the knife.

"Huuuh."

Taking a deep breath, I removed the carpet from the floor, cleaning the place to have at least an area to draw a large circle.

"Argh..."

I winced in pain as I sat down on the floor, removing all the carpet away with my legs. I tightly clutched the knife in my hand.

"Arghhhh."

And then, placing my left hand above the ground, I made a deep cut on my wrist, enough so that blood gushed out, dyeing the floor red.

Drip... Drip...

When there was enough blood on the ground, I let go of the knife and dipped my finger into the blood as I started to spread it on the floor.

hysteria.

The organization that captured Azariah when he was a child.

The organization that tortured him for three whole months before he was rescued.

The organization whose head is one of the five [Primordial Evils] of this world, going against the will of the gods.

Among the countless broken memories of Azariah that I have, one memory stood out the most.

The memory of the magic circle that connects multiple worlds to this world.

The magic circle that, I don't know how, but Azariah somehow knew about.

The magic circle that he came across when he was a lab rat within that organization.

All the memories about the magic circle are blurry in my mind, but all I know is that it can give me what I need the most.

The magic circle that can grant you anything if you provide something of equal exchange.

The function of the magic circle was simple: if you want to create or obtain something, you just need to lose or destroy something of equal value.

"What I need the most is strength," I mumbled as I made a circle with my blood and sat in the middle of it. "Strength that can help me at least protect myself against all the shit that is going to happen in the future."

Because out of all five [Primordial Evils] that defy the will of the gods, one of them is very close to me.

Because the incarnation and vessel for one of the five [Primordial Evils] is my very own mother.

The mother who will kill me at most in a year, if things follow as they happened in the game.

"And I would be damned if I let myself get killed after all this shit I have gone through," I mumbled as I made a square within the circle, blood still gushing out of my slit-opened wrist dying the floor.

I've had enough of this shit. I'll fucking run away from this place and hide in some remote corner.

Even though I know that witch of a mother will still be able to find me.

"Fuu."

I let out a deep breath as I felt my vision blur due to the blood loss, but I continued to draw the magic circle.

My hands trembling with exhaustion and pain, I forced myself to focus on the intricate patterns.

And after one final touch, the magic circle was completed, the patterns glowing softly in the dim light.

For a moment, I stood back, my breath catching in my throat as I surveyed the magic circle.

After that I sat down in the middle of the circle as I called out my status screen.

==========================

Name: Azariah Noah Aljanah [40], Inder Sephtis [60]

Age: 15

Rank: 2nd Primeval (48%)

Strength: 10

Reflex: 19

Intelligence: 38

Mental Strength: 10 [40]

Charm: 13

(Average limit for 2nd Primeval is 20, while the maximum one could reach with the help of blessings or bloodline is 40)

Bloodline: Unawakened.

Blessing: Amun-Ra's Blessing.

Passive Status: Mana Exhaustion/Sickly/Weakened/Madness.

===========================

"Haha."

I let out a small laugh as I looked at my status, where one more thing was added: madness.

"Yeah, it's madness," I mumbled as I looked back at the circle. "It's complete madness."

"Huuuh."

Taking a deep breath, I touched the magic circle while still sitting in the middle of it.

"I need something that can provide me with the strength that I need," I mumbled as I let out all the mana that I had in my body.

"And in exchange..."

If I want the strength that can help me survive in this world, then only madness can help me.

If I want to deal with the devil, then I have to give something that the devil likes the most.

".....I offer a third of my soul."