Shotgun

A/N: don't expect much, this has been an idea I had for a month since I saw that there is no Red vs Blue fanfics on this site.

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It's a bright and beautiful day, no clouds in sight, no Grimm in sight ether, and a fire in the woods, wait what?

"GRIF!" Washington's yell could be heard all throughout the forest. Even though the forest is hundreds of kilometers wide.

"OW! Watch where you're swinging that!" Grif's voice could be heard after Washington's.

"Tucker did it." Caboose's voice of defense was immediately objected by Grif.

"Wh-What? No I saw you do it!" Grif said this as he pointed towards Caboose.

Carolina tried to calm everyone down, "guys, SHUT UP! I know we're are all on our toes here. But I need you guys to understand; panicking won't solve anything!" They've crash landed here on Remnant for a month. For a month with these idiots!

They've only know the bare-bones of this planet, but with the knowledge of the this place they know one thing except for Caboose - that the UNSC would've contacted these humans and fauns and 'try' to form friendly relationships with the people of the planet.

But that's not the problem, the problem is is that Caboose 'helped' them by somehow setting fire to their supplies, how? I don't know, he did his 'Caboose magic' and woop-de-fucking-doo, their supplies are cut in half.

"Grif! Simmons! Get Down here on the double!" Sarge's voice entered the two sim-troopers ears making one groan and the other getting his compliments ready.

"Damn it"

"Yes Sir!"

Cutting to Tucker whom is actually working out with his sword going through a make-shift training area made out of sand bags and hay-made targets. Despite his sex jokes he's - in Sarge's words, 'A good soldier' - but to Caronlina and Washington he's still a fucking idiot. Which is why he is still training on his 'vacation' to show that he CAN improve.

Caboose. Caboose is still sad over Church's... death. Sometimes during the day he needs a prep-talk from Washington and Carolina. But Freckles is... some what of a stand in for Church, but don't get it wrong! Church is still his best friend.

Now Carolina and Washington have been scouting out around and even went to a few villages around the forest. Carolina isn't so happy about this as she wanted a Vacation, not a surprise survival scenario, Washington is on the same boat.

"Now, as the commander of the Red team, I need you two to go on a scouting mission to see what those Bluetards are up to!" Sarge continued to speak.

"Already done, just look five hundred meters behind you, a little to the left and you can see Tucker and Caboose talking, jobs done." Grif said this as he pointed to Tucker and Caboose who are in fact what Grif had just said.

"Damnit Grif! If you interrupt me again, you're going to be our training dummy for the next week!" Sarge said this with venom in his voice.

"How would you like us to do it Sir?" Simmons said this in his usual kiss-ass fashion.

"Thank you for asking Simmons! Lopez!" Sarge said this as Lopez - the Spanish speaking robot whom doesn't learn English so that he can insult everyone without consequences. (That would be a pretty damn cool thing to do) "Bring out the vehicle!"

Sarge said this as Lopez came out with a Warthog which had a mini gun on its back. Seeing this both Simmons and Grif wanted shotgun.

"Shotgun" Simmons said this faster than Grif.

"Shotgun, Fuck! Wait-a-minute Sarge, why would a Warthog that would most likely play that music that's also loud would help on a scouting mission?" Grif said this as it was common sense.

"Because Grif, when you get enough information you'll hope on back to the gun and blast those backstabbing bluetards into hell where you'll be joining them when a bullet ricochets and hits you in the head killing you and as Simmons come back we have a party!" Sarge said this as it was obvious. Grif was going to continue but Donut came out the the Reds base.

"I would like you all to know that red base now has two times the space! With a wine bar and a gym we will be able to be intoxicated while he make mistakes in the dark!" The pink- Ahem - lightish red soldier said this to the three.

but moving on and going to Tucker and Caboose.

"Caboose, I want to to say this word-for-word. Okay?"

"Okay"

"What happened to the sandwiches that were on the shelf?"

"On the shelf"

Tucker whom just decided to give up because Caboose only has a single digit IQ "fuck it!"