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Reborn as the Clown Prince

Read all Synopsis! Original name: The Clown/Клоун An ordinary student gets into the most famous psychopath of the DC universe and tries to become a hero. -------- Warnings: 1. There is a lot of fluff and the fanfiction atmosphere will be closer to the animated series "Harley Quinn" 2019. 2. There are sex scenes and quite cringe-worthy (there are a couple between the girls), but in general they are hardly enough for ten chapters in one volume. 3. Despite the "System" tag, the system is often mentioned only at first chapters, but after the 12th chapter it practically does not appear even in the form of alerts (I have no task to gain volume stupidly due to repeated stats), besides, the protagonist himself uses it little, preferring independent development. 4. Slow development of the protagonist. -------- Disclaimer: hello everyone, I have to inform you that an unscrupulous translator of my fanfiction has appeared on the site (FanFictionForge / FanFictionPremium / SpaceMate): "Reborn as a Joker"). I planned to do the translation myself, but after I finish the second volume. The first volume was completed a year and a half ago. Unfortunately, circumstances forced me to act earlier, so I'm posting all the currently open chapters here. At the moment, 192 chapters in English (DeepL) are for free in the public domain here: https://boosty.to/logri/posts/84a7f749-2050-4d6b-99bc-596965b6eb5c P.S.: at least two translated chapters every day, since I'm still writing the continuation of the story, and I spend about 12 hours on each chapter (in Russian).

Logri · Cómic
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200 Chs

It's just beginning

It was nearing evening, and our horny company had to call it a night. I was still full of energy, of course, and Harley didn't mind continuing to talk after such a long separation, but Zee didn't have the same stamina. She had recently spent a lot of time on complicated enchantments and had not yet had time to recover properly.

While the enchantress soaked in the tub and chatted on the phone with the agent, we successfully cleaned up the room and ourselves, and then settled into the great hall, ordering a mountain of unhealthy but so nutritious food.

Soon Zee joined our feast and told us that her tour would resume, but she would be in the first city for only a couple of days instead of the planned week.

After a thorough refreshment, we resumed our magic lessons, not wanting to miss out on such a valuable source of knowledge.

This time the main topic of the lecture was spatial spells, which included teleportation and portal gate control. The spell formulas, of course, were very complicated, but, thanks to my excellent memory, I memorized everything from the first time and now it was just a matter of practice.

However, it was unlikely that I'd be able to create a portal circle on my own in the near future, despite all my training, and I'd only be able to use spatial jump a couple of times before the reserve showed the bottom. Due to the presence of a large module of Taboo magic, this direction was incredibly voracious in terms of mana consumption, slightly surpassing material illusions. And it was voracious not only for me, but also for the enchantress. Therefore, unless necessary, the sexy illusionist quite rarely used self teleportation, preferring to use transportation or levitation charms.

Tabu magic was necessary to avoid accidentally fitting into some object on the way out and reach the destination point in one piece. Naturally, no one forbids to prescribe all the necessary conditions for a successful transition, reducing the cost of reserve, but, firstly, moving a couple of kilometers without a supercomp at hand is almost unrealistic to calculate (you need to take into account all the energy vortices in the conjugate dimension and objects in the real world that can throw off the final coordinates), and secondly, the school of taboo is good because it refers to conceptual charms.

The magician sets the conditions not only with certain words or phrases, but also mentally. That is, he presents the end result, and magic tries to perform all the necessary actions independently. So to speak, follows not only the letter, but also the spirit of the "contract". History has known cases when magicians managed to teleport even from unmasked space, which, according to theory, is impossible.

Fortunately, these restrictions don't really apply to me, because I'm going to use the stationary portal in Shadow Peak. The altar is almost entirely powered by the portal, and all I have to do is cast the enchantment correctly, set the conditions with the final destination, and add some of my mana to activate it. It will be harder to get back, but after spending a couple of diamonds on top (taking into account the increased reserve), the portal arch can be activated remotely or set the activation time in advance without much trouble.

Speaking of the aforementioned levitation charms. Due to the fact that the image of one hero underwent a serious metamorphosis, someone was left without a comfortable cloak-planer. The harpoon cane is undoubtedly cool and convenient in some places, but it clearly lacks mobility. Unfortunately, I can't levitate at all, maybe not until I'm near the Shadow Peak, but Zee remembered a great thing called Sleipnir's Footstep. Based on the name, the spell belonged to Scandinavian magic and was directly related to movement. According to the legends, Sleipnir is an eight-legged horse (which, by the way, was born by Loki, turning into a horse), belonging to Odin and able to gallop faster than the wind, literally hovering above the ground. So the spell did roughly the same thing. No, it didn't turn a man into an eight-legged mutant horse, but for short moments created small springy platforms right in the air, which were a kind of analog of shield charms.

This way you can safely run straight through the air without much trouble. Besides, no one forbids to create an artifact with the same effect, further reducing mana costs, but for this you need parts of some flying creatures, such as pegasi or harpies. Although you can always try to use magic plants together with diamond powder.

"Listen, Zee... You wouldn't happen to know about a certain Abigail Arcane, would you? - I asked, remembering a notable person. The Swamp Lady's ability to "milk" the Ba-hion was hardly normal.

The dark-haired beauty hesitated, wrinkling her brow amusedly.

"No, I've never heard of her, but I know the name Arcane. Witchcraft and sorcery at its worst. Summoning demonic creatures, ritual sacrifices, creating lichs and chimeras, vivisection, voodoo magic, ancestral curses... Toward the end of his life, the head of the family, Anton Arcane, went completely off the rails and decided to contact the destructive forces, compared to which even the most horrible demons pale in comparison.

"Oh... And what are these powers? - I asked apprehensively.

"Black. Death at its worst. Sixty years ago, it gained an avatar and broke out into our world, causing much mischief. Then, the best spellcasters had to join forces to stop its spread and seal it away, somewhere in the Sahara Desert," she sighed heavily. - Unfortunately, I don't know exactly how and where they did it, so I can't even check the reliability of the charms, but I really hope it's in some spatial pocket that is directly powered by the dragon vein. And where did you hear that name?

"That's the name of a very close friend of ours. She's Green's avatar.

"I thought I heard that Green's avatar was Swamp Thing.

"That's right, she got the position after the death of the previous Guardian of the Forest, who had just died during a fight with Black.

"Whew, I doubt she's really connected to this family then. The Greens try to bring life and prosperity rather than death and destruction, albeit at times in less than humane ways. Why are you interested in this question in the first place?

"You know... - hell and how do you explain her stealing ba-hion supplies? - When I have sex with her, I feel like I'm losing my strength.

The enchantress squinted at me.

"You know you don't have to fuck everything that moves, right? How did you even do that?! She must be an elemental, she must not be interested in sex because she doesn't have a normal body. Although..." Zee thought for a moment. - Assuming she's really Arcane, she must have some weak demons in her lineage, plus dark rituals rarely go without consequences. So she could very well be acting as some sort of succubus, siphoning off life energy. But, Jay, I certainly understand... We have a pretty loose relationship, but you have to be a little more discerning.

My eyes wagged against my will toward Harley, hobbling a cookie from the cookie jar.

"Hey!" the blonde resented our glances. - You were the one who initiated it that time, I just offered to fuck her in the throat. Who knew she'd like it so much? And why didn't you tell me she was sucking your life energy?

"I held up my hands, acknowledging my surrender. - I just didn't think it was dangerous, and I had plenty of prana.

"Well look me," she bit into a cookie, putting a stop to the conversation.

On that cheerful note, it was time to call it a night, because the clock struck six in the evening, and I wasn't about to give up on the idea of visiting Gotham. It was also the perfect opportunity to remotely activate the portal under the supervision of a charming mentor.

But before the necessary spells could be cast, the problem of delivering the valuable cargo had to be solved. Someone had won as much as seven million dollars at the casino, and even though the amount had suddenly dropped to four and a half after paying all the taxes, the cash still took up an entire suitcase. Remembering what kind of churning happens on magical roller coasters, I had no desire to accidentally blow my winnings if they happened to fall outside the tube. Therefore, I made a willful decision to place the oversized luggage in the spatial pocket.

Due to energy conservation, the stitched houndstooth ribbons had a limited capacity due to background energization. But fortunately, this problem was quietly solved by adding seven additional runes designed to draw extra energy from the user, or from the connected mana store to dynamically expand the space and lighten the weight to comfortable values.

Now I always have an engraver with a couple of interchangeable nozzles with me, so the work took a little time, after which the suitcase on wheels quietly slipped into my pants pocket, reminding me of a scene from the cartoon "Looney Tunes". He-he-he-he, now I really want to get an anvil, a big hammer or a grenade launcher in front of the amazed bandits, impersonating Mask from the movie of the same name.

Having finished with the preparations, we gathered again in the central room, where I began to create spatial charms under the careful gaze of the sorceress. As I said, the structure of the spell was complex, but my excellent memory left too little chance for error, and my true sight contributed to it, allowing me to see the structure normally instead of relying on my imagination. Twenty minutes later, the weave hung in the air, fueled by my powers, and Zee approached it, injecting some of her mana into the center to identify it and create a breach.

Pieces of the structure came into motion, creating a breakthrough to another plane of existence, and the circle under the influence of energy began to pour with color, to soon turn into a two-meter ring of transition shining with all the colors of the rainbow.

We'd already said goodbye to the sorceress, but Harley didn't miss her chance to kiss Zee one more time before jumping into the portal, rubbing her luscious buns together. I decided to stay with the group and did the same thing to the sexy sorceress.

"The passage will close soon..." the illusionist hinted, breaking the lingering kiss.

"Okay. I kissed her again, and then, without looking back, I dove into the rainbow film. I felt like I'd be a little more inhibited, because for the first time since we'd been together, I felt the familiar sparks from the auras coming together.

The flight through the tube ended in the portal room of the Shadow Peak. I didn't want to go back to it later, so I did the binding right away, adding our auric imprints to the crystal ball placed next to the stone archway. I unloaded everything I needed from my pockets and put on a light disguise and went to the city in the company of my beautiful companion.

Given the time zones, it's nighttime in Gotham, which means that various criminal elements have crawled out onto the streets to test new spells on, and just to show off in public.

But first, our tandem settled on one of the rooftops in the center of Burnley Island to try out Sleipnir's Tread. The formula of the spell was elementary, and the only difficulty was the module responsible for activation. It would not be very convenient if the charms had to be constantly activated by voice command, but so hinged them on himself, placing the construction in the area of the foot, and know, only supply energy and timely use the volitional order. The main thing here is not to cut off the power supply, otherwise you will have to create the weave anew, and do not forget to adjust the strength of the platform. If you make it too fragile, it will simply collapse, unable to bear the weight, and too strong will eat up extra energy.

After about twenty minutes of jumping on the roof, I had mastered it enough to try to get to the next building, but my faithful companion had some difficulties with it. She'd create the weave crookedly, or she'd use a lot of energy, as if she were trying to lift a car, and once she managed to turn the platform inside out, and instead of pushing off, her feet stuck to it. The effect, of course, is interesting, and I remembered the modification, but you can't move like that.

Basically, the blonde had a cat hook with a supply of squibs, but without the cloak-planer, the speed would leave a lot to be desired. Besides, this new way of traveling is much more fun!

"Mr. J, why don't I ride in your arms until I get the hang of it? - Harley looked up at me, making an adorable face.

"And why not," I shrugged, having no problem lifting the satisfied assistant up.

I had to increase the energy inflow almost twice, but I wouldn't say it was fatal, considering the increased reserve. And with my strength, it was a pleasure to carry a fragile girl, who didn't even weigh eighty kilograms, in my arms (taking into account the junk in the spatial storage).

Magic glyphs flashed beneath my feet for a brief moment, helping me to make long leaps, and then I was already on the next building with a charming passenger. Suddenly the radio, tuned to police frequencies, reminded me of myself, reporting a robbery nearby. To the joyful squeals of the beauty, I start running fast again, straight through the air towards the target.

"Whoo-hoo! Let's do it again! - The cutie's eyes were full of excitement as we landed on a rooftop near the right store.

I didn't have time to answer, as the window burst from the inside, revealing a body of a gangster's appearance under the light of a street lamp.

"Don't fidget, the police are on their way," an unfamiliar character emerged from the bowels of the room to the street.

Well, as in unfamiliar. Green tight tights, a small black coat with a yellow lining, a red vest with the symbol "R" and a small black mask, absolutely not hiding his face, although, given the local conceptual law, you could even put on glasses, and no one would have realized that he was Richard Grayson-Wayne.

"Who the hell is that? - Harley asked, looking with interest at the young crime fighter who was deftly handcuffing the beaten robber.

Well, that's what you have to prove. Laws of the universe that you just have to accept.

"It's a small one.

"Hmm..." the blonde squinted. - That's right!

"I thought you were still in Vegas," came a stern male voice behind me.

Without even turning around, I already know who has visited us.

"Hi Bats! Thank you so much for the batshop. Zee was really in some serious trouble. Some bastard almost sold her to an archdemon, but luckily we got there in time and got it all sorted out, kicking Mammon in the process.

"You'll pay for the fuel," replied Puffy Mouse. - And next time, warn me if you don't need transportation anymore.

He stepped aside, asking Oracle to supervise the delivery of the airplane while we watched with interest as the kid, quickly climbed the wall.

"Oh, you're here! - The kid was obviously happy to know that his performance had been seen by more than just his foster father. - Did you see how hard I beat them? - he exclaimed, eager to share his joy.

Except our couple didn't share Richard's enthusiasm.

I was the first one who couldn't take it.

"Man, I just can't watch this! Bats, why the fuck did you dress the little guy in tight tights? - I turn to the Dark Knight standing nearby.

"Do you think it would have been better without the elbows? - tilting her head to the side, my companion asked.

"Ha ha ha ha, nah, I'm afraid our mouse friend would then be lynched by an angry mob...

"Hey, it's a normal suit," Grayson said indignantly. - I've performed in similar uniforms, and this one uses some kind of cool composite material. It even holds a gunshot! And yes, call me Robin in this outfit!

"Okay, little one, don't boil... But the uniforms can be made cooler, even if you like tight suits.

"Joker, leave the kid alone.

"No, I'm not. Why can't you at least dress like me? Look, what an amazing and harmonious style," I pulled on my purple jacket, adjusted my green tie with the image of happy piranhas, and hugged the beauty standing next to me, smiling with the friendliest smile.

The kid's face expressed skepticism.

"Okay, I get that you want to look like a stripper, but you can be a stylish stripper!

I quickly make a simple illusion with a few anchor points and activate it with a snap of my fingers right on the kid.

The young hero was now dressed in a black tight outfit with a blue tick on his chest, which perfectly emphasized his athletic figure.

"Oh..." Harley glanced at Robin, then looked at me. - Mr. Jay, would you like to try something like this on? I'm the only one in the bedroom who's bothering with cosplay.

"Yeah, as soon as the Amazons let me into their library," I said, knowing full well how those militant feminists treated the opposite sex.

"You know what," Richard looked at his new outfit thoughtfully. - This costume really does look cooler. At least now it looks like I'm on Batman's team.

 

***

 

A huge gray humanoid in a black high-tech suit sat on a majestic throne in a huge, gloomy hall, as if it had come from the pages of a book about some demon lord. His red eyes, glowing with an otherworldly light, stared fixedly at the strange knight kneeling on the throne. The subordinate was just like his boss: a creepy gray face with ape-like features, almost two and a half meters tall, his body encased in steel armor consisting of many spiked bands, a horned helmet on his head, and the hilt of a huge axe sticking out behind his back.

"Steppenwolf," said the red-eyed monster, "the Mother Cubes are active again. I am sending you to Earth to retrieve them and bring them to Apokolips.

"Master, but what about the Kryptonian? If the spy reports are true, he's still protecting Earth, jeopardizing the mission.

The ruler of the planet turned his head, and soon a servant entered the hall, carrying a small box. He pulled back the lid, revealing an ornate green-bladed dagger with a faint glow inside.

"It's a weapon against him, now go and come back victorious.

"I obey, my lord," Steppenwolf nodded gratefully and took the box and hurried away from the throne room.

 

ALTERNATIVE VERSION

 

A huge gray humanoid in a black high-tech suit sat on a majestic throne in a huge, gloomy hall, as if it had come from the pages of a book about some demon lord. His red eyes, glowing with an otherworldly light, stared fixedly at the strange knight kneeling on the throne. The subordinate was just like his boss: a creepy gray face with ape-like features, almost two and a half meters tall, his body encased in steel armor consisting of many spiked bands, a horned helmet on his head, and the hilt of a huge axe sticking out behind his back.

"Steppenwolf," said the red-eyed monster, "the Mother Cubes are active again. I am sending you to Earth to retrieve them and bring them to Apokolips.

"Master, but what about the Kryptonian? If the spy reports are true, he's still protecting Earth, jeopardizing the mission.

The ruler of the planet turned his head, and soon a servant entered, carrying a small box decorated with bas-reliefs of distorted faces. It looked as if they were about to scream, or burst into deafening laughter that turned hysterical. The servant stopped not far from the horned knight and gingerly pulled back the lid, revealing a green dildo lying on a red velvet cushion that glowed dimly with an otherworldly light.

When the creature on the throne stared at his subordinate in surprise, he deigned to explain where such an unusual weapon had come from.

"A strange man in purple robes suddenly appeared on one of our worlds. The Parademons did not seem to notice him, but the intelligent servants saw him and tried to attack him. He turned some of them into animals with his scepter, and then offered the survivors this artifact in exchange for two tons of moldy cheese.

"And you made a deal? - Steppenwolf asked cautiously.

"Unfortunately, yes. The man could become intangible, so I had to agree to his terms.

"Have our weaponsmiths tried giving this a more martial form..." the horned monster took the box, once again scrutinizing its contents.

"This weapon is unworkable and starts screaming when you try to interact with it in any way.

"Yamete kudasai! - A sudden sound came from the side of the artifact that Steppenwolf had carelessly touched.

The creature on the throne shrugged.

"That's exactly what it's screaming. Now go and come back with a victory.

"I obey, my lord," Steppenwolf nodded gratefully, slammed the lid of the box shut, and hurried away from the throne room.