Chapter 136: The past

Hearing Immy talk about her goal, I couldn't help but recall the conversation grandmother had with my father the first time I met her. Father's entire revenge against the humans was because of Amanita, I think he said something along the lines of them turning against him?

I wasn't quite sure, but I do remember grandmother saying that the humans were not at fault for what happened. Linking that and what Immy saw in her ancestral memory, it seemed like there was once a time when dragons and humans once lived side by side and got along with each other.

Thinking about that, I was once again reminded of the ruined city a distance away from our floating mountain. I was able to see glimpses of the past over there, the once-bustling city full of people from all races and backgrounds living side by side.

I remember the scene of a monstrous presence invading, only to be faced by an army of dragons, I remembered the dark mist seeping from beyond the void and into the city, tainting all of its residents and turning them into mindless monsters.

'Is everything the doing of the Shades?' I found myself wondering.

"Wait, you said the memory of one dragon, do you mean you only lived through one memory?" I suddenly asked with a frown as I glanced at Immy.

She, in turn, brought her attention back to me and seriously nodded. "Aren't you the same brother?"

"Uh..."

Noticing my complicated gaze, Immy must have understood as she simply nodded in understanding before speaking, "I see, I always knew you were special brother, but to think you were this blessed, I can't help but feel envious at your good luck," She lightly grumbled causing my eyes to widen.

This was my first time seeing Immy make that sort of expression, needless to say, I was surprised. "Good luck you say, I'm not sure about that," I chuckled helplessly.

While It was true that I was fortunate enough in my second life, It wasn't so easy. All of the trials, constantly being at the edge around my father, mother hell sometimes even around Sidus or Ynos. I was constantly putting on a front, a front of a talented son, one that my parents could be proud of.

A front of a reliable older brother, one that held the respect of his little siblings. Before I knew It, I was too deep into this facade that I created for myself. Perhaps it wasn't right, but if there was one thing I was sure about, and that was that I did not want to be left alone in this world as well.

Maybe that was the reason I blindly followed the orders of my father, never once questioning if they were right or wrong, deep down, I longed for his acknowledgment, it didn't matter to me that my current father was a dragon, I just did not want to be left alone again.

The pain of losing my parents in my old world still haunts me to this day, embracing my dragonic instincts and trying to shed away my old human self helped me forget about that past, about the time I spent in solitude.

I had shut myself off the world. Ever since my parent's murder, my hope, my faith in humanity dwindled. Every day that passed with the culprits running freely outside while my parents, MY parents...It felt like a knife was tearing me from the inside.

I was filled with guilt, the only thing I could do was drown myself in games, books, and stories while giving up on the world. A heavy sigh escaped my mouth as I raised my head to glance at the sky. Memories I thought I had long since discarded resurfaced causing my mood to turn heavy.

Immy must have noticed since she refrained from saying anything and simply laid down next to me. What I did before was a cowardly choice, I chose to hide and disregard the outside world. Was that right or wrong? I didn't know...I was sure there were other people out there with less fortunate circumstances than mine, people that suffered worse fates, yet they still chose to not give up, to continue forward.

But for better or worse, I wasn't one of the said people. I couldn't get past my parent's death. I couldn't accept it, why did it have to be them? Why was our home the one invaded that day? Why did they have to die? Why was I left alone? So many questions, so many regrets.

Memories and feelings I tried to suppress and hurry deep within me, burst out like a flood. 'Ah, I'm still a coward, am I not?' I inwardly mumbled with a self-mocking chuckle. Nothing had changed from before, I was still a weak coward.

Maybe that's why I tried to forget everything ever since I came to this world, maybe that's why I accepted and embraced my new dragonic side. I didn't want to be lonely anymore. Another self-loathing escaped my mouth as I shook my head.

'How pathetic,'

Just because I didn't want to feel the same way, I chose to forget everything, I chose to ignore everything as If it didn't happen...'Pathetic, I really am pathetic,' I took a deep breath as a gentle breeze tickled my scales.

I soon found myself thinking about everything I chose to forget, for the first time since coming to this world, my more rational side overwhelmed my dragonic instincts. Feelings I didn't want to feel again assaulted me.

"Really...pathetic..." I whispered under my breath as I lowered my head and curled around myself using my large wings to cover my face.

'What am I even doing,'

'Everything I did so far, what was the point of it all?'

'In the end, even after coming to this world, I am still as pathetic as ever,'

'I-'

"I-"

It was then that I felt a small force pushing itself against my wings, moving them to the side. Soon, a tiny cute green head with large adorable eyes stared at me. "Big brother Aether! Your back!" Smiled Essie before she buried herself deeper, and nudged her face against mine.

After that, she quickly hopped onto her favorite spot on top of my head rendering me speechless. For a second I didn't know how to react as I felt the weight of her tiny head on top of mine. A wary smile made its way to my face as a sigh escaped my lips before I closed my eyes to rest.